Vacation woes (again)--just venting

[delilah]

I need to vent to keep myself from getting into trouble. I have one particular coworker who is snotty about other people taking vacation. How we schedule vacation is very informal. At the end of the year (now), we hang a year long calendar where all the doctors write in vacations/cme/personal days that they need to have off. I schedule my vacations around my son's school calendar, because, personally, I don't like to take him out of school for trips. Unfortunately, this means that I take vacation about the same time each year--spring break, the week after memorial day, fall break, Christmas time. I was writing in the days I needed off to accomodate my son's schedule, and this woman was sitting there watching as I filled in the times. Apparently she has an issue that other doctors take off the same time I do, because their school has break the same time my son's does.

Now, in the past, I have tried to have a rational discussion with her, explaining that we would like to take trips as a family, instead of using up our vacations days one parent at a time, just to stay at home with our son. This year, as was last year, the week after Memorial day is an issue. I should note at this time that three weeks ago, I was the only doctor working the Friday after Thanksgiving, while she and her husband (also doctors), were off, and that she and hubby are going to be off the week after Christmas, and I am going to be on call Dec 26&27, and 5 of 7 doctors will be off/out of town. The last week of December is the peak of flu season, usually. Usually, not much is going on the week after Memorial day--it is not busy that time of year at all. My son gets off the Thursday before Memorial day, and I already have hotel reservations for the following week.

I have even gone so far as to ask her when she would like for us to schedule vacation. She didn't answer, but, I think, really, she would like for us not to take vacation at all. She, herself, recently took maternity leave for two months, and then, didn't take call any weekends at all until her baby was 6mos old. We other doctors had nothing to say about it. Logically, it shouldn't matter to her if two doctors are out of the office, since, if she and hubby have vacation, two doctors are out of the office.

I just feel aggravated by her attitude, and want to stay civil at work.

 

[thelionqueen]

Hopefully when this other person's child reaches school age she will understand your scheduling better.

As far as right now, I would suggest not even trying to explain anything at all to her. Just take your days and ignore her. I've found that trying to explain something that is common sense is just like beating your head against the wall. You could talk youself blue in the face and she will still not understand.

Enjoy your vacations and thanks for the work you do!

 

[C.Ann]

Does this other doctor have children? If not, she just may not understand the concept of trying to work around a child's school schedule..

I would just smile and say something along the lines of, "I'll be so glad when Joey is older and we don't have to be so rigid in choosing vacation times.."

Not good to work in a tense atmosphere so you really have to go the "honey instead of vinegar" route..
-------------------

Edited to add: Oops! I see she has a baby.. Now you need to go the "wait until Mary is in school" route - with a BIG smile..

 

[Sandy V.]

As far as right now, I would suggest not even trying to explain anything at all to her. Just take your days and ignore her.

I think that this is great advice.

Doing anything else puts HER in a position of power as you attempt (unsuccessfully) to justify your vacation time to her. You're entitled to vacation time as much as she is. Just write it on the calendar, stand firm in not changing long-standing plans, take your vacation as indicated, and have a great, guilt-free time!!

 

[MoniqueU]

She will have a huge come uppance when her children reach school age. I know my son has reached Jr high and even missing one day throws him totally off.
I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I would just ignore it the best you can and know you are doing right by your kids.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I find at work that there are some people who always get obnoxious about vacation and holiday schedules. Fortunately, ours are assigned based on seniority. Having worked where I am for 18 years, I am now near the top of the list, so I just about always get my first choices. But that wasn't always the case - there were years I worked part of all three summer and winter holidays, and was refused requested vacation weeks to boot.

A couple of years ago I actually had someone in their first year on the job ask me how I got such a "nice" holiday schedule. I couldn't believe she even asked me that , but I was ready. I told her that for 16 years I had worked holidays. In fact, I was here working holidays when she was still in elementary school. And that I imagined that after 16 years she'd have a pretty good holiday schedule too. That shut her up.

 

[JimB.]

Schedule our time off as you always have.

You have attempted to get her input & she has not responded.

Pooh on her. Ignore it.

& BTW, I salute your "don't take the kids out of shool for trips" philosophy. We are similarly constrained in our trips for the same reason.

 

[Disney Doll]

Is this woman just an annoying co-worker, or does she have any influence on your yearly evaluation and/or raise?

If she is an annoying co-worker, quite frankly I would give a flying hoot whether or not she liked when I took my vacation. If she said anything to me, I'd probably say something to the effect of "My vacation time is not your issue".

However, if she is someone who has influence over your evaluation/raise, or if she is someone who has influence over the person who does your evaluation and decides your raise (and think very carefully about that!!!), then you probably need to be a bit more civil.

Good luck!!!

 

[mickeyboat]

I work in a small office, and only one of us can be on vacation at the same time. Two of us have children in school and don't like to take our kids out of school for vacations, either. But it's not fair for one of us to monopolize all of the school vacation times. We take turns.

If you are taking fall break, Christmas, spring break and memorial day weeks for vacation, it could look to her like you are monopolizing all the school vacation weeks.

But, unless your office comes up with a better way to schedule vacation, she is just going to have to keep her mouth shut.

Denae

 

[disykat]

Since they took Thanksgiving, not you, and it looks like you are splitting the Christmas break, she has no reason to be upset. Just ignore it or work on a different vacation procedure. My Dad was a doctor too. No matter how he scheduled his vacation his partner would decide last minute he had to have some of those days off too, leaving Dad scrambling around town trying to find someone to take call. Irritating, but it never changed - though it did get better when they took a 3rd partner.

As irritating as it is, everyone else probably gets the same treatment from her. It's probably not going to change. When her kids hit school, she'll expect you all to schedule around her. I doubt there will be any lessons learned. Some people are just that way.

 

[delilah]

Does this other doctor have children? If not, she just may not understand the concept of trying to work around a child's school schedule..

I would just smile and say something along the lines of, "I'll be so glad when Joey is older and we don't have to be so rigid in choosing vacation times.."

Not good to work in a tense atmosphere so you really have to go the "honey instead of vinegar" route..
-------------------

Edited to add: Oops! I see she has a baby.. Now you need to go the "wait until Mary is in school" route - with a BIG smile..

She has two children, age 3yrs and 8mos.. I already know that if the snide remarks continue, I will not be the cooperative one to rearrange the work schedule. Our kids will overlap in elementary school for several years. The other docs with kids have one who is a junior or senior in HS, and the other whose are in 6th and 8th grade. In my opinion, this should really only be a problem until he is old enough to consider letting him stay at home while I am working--maybe 10th or 11th grade.

 

[horseshowmom]

I think that this is great advice.

Doing anything else puts HER in a position of power as you attempt (unsuccessfully) to justify your vacation time to her. You're entitled to vacation time as much as she is. Just write it on the calendar, stand firm in not changing long-standing plans, take your vacation as indicated, and have a great, guilt-free time!!

Some people just like to "run other people's business". Ignore her!

 

[delilah]

I work in a small office, and only one of us can be on vacation at the same time. Two of us have children in school and don't like to take our kids out of school for vacations, either. But it's not fair for one of us to monopolize all of the school vacation times. We take turns.

If you are taking fall break, Christmas, spring break and memorial day weeks for vacation, it could look to her like you are monopolizing all the school vacation weeks.

But, unless your office comes up with a better way to schedule vacation, she is just going to have to keep her mouth shut.

Denae

Her kids are not school aged. We have seven docs, and do allow more than one out on vacation at the same time. (Obviously, see OP). We do switch off vacation times. I am taking a total of three work days off at Christmas, when my son is off two weeks(10 days). I have more vacation days than my DH.
He works at a pharmaceutical firm that gives everybody off between Christmas and New Years. We like to vacation with my brother, and take a trip to WDW together. He lives in Florida, has a Florida seasonal pass, and so, cannot go to WDW between June 11 and mid to late Aug--School starts about Aug 14 or so. That eliminates all but the first two weeks of summer break for us. Fall break is two days in late October. This past spring break, I was on call the first weekend, which was Easter weekend. So, I would hardly say I get off all school holidays.

 

[experiment626mom]

Unless she is your boss, it's really none of her business when you take your vacation.

 

[delilah]

Is this woman just an annoying co-worker, or does she have any influence on your yearly evaluation and/or raise?

If she is an annoying co-worker, quite frankly I would give a flying hoot whether or not she liked when I took my vacation. If she said anything to me, I'd probably say something to the effect of "My vacation time is not your issue".

However, if she is someone who has influence over your evaluation/raise, or if she is someone who has influence over the person who does your evaluation and decides your raise (and think very carefully about that!!!), then you probably need to be a bit more civil.

Good luck!!!

We are both doctors in the practice--technically self employed, equal partners. I have 9 years seniority on her, which should count for something. I just try really hard to get along with everybody, and I am really about the first one to volunteer to take call/adjust my schedule to help out a peer. I am just the type of person who hate to just cut somebody off, but, I am about over this woman.