upset, upset, upset...

[ge0rgette2]

I'm so upset with myself lately..

I do well dieting and watching my food intake for a few days, then BOOM, I BLOW IT!!!

I went to the gym with all best intentions this week, 1 day just treadmill to start, next day did a low body sculpt class.. was a nice change up.

Woke the next day, body hurt, and is expected due to sculpt class.

Do you think I continued to do exercise? nope - plus - ate chinese food for dinner and pizza last night ..

Whats WRONG WITH ME??

Where is the therapy thread?

Going on a cruise in 90 days and here I sit feeling bad about myself.

I always find an excuse not to take care of ME!!

Any thoughts - be nice now! hehehe

Suggestions?

BTW, been on every diet there is... I start out fresh and then by weeks end, something sends me to the cookies!

 

[BabyTigger99]

First off, stop and take a deep breath!! Step back and look at yourself. Start journaling what you are eating, what you are doing for exercise, but most important...how you are feeling! At night, write down a plan for the next day (food intake, exercise, etc.) so you have a plan of attack for your day. You can do this!!

 

[erinna]

I sure have been there -- you have my 100% sympathy!

Something that helped me is this book called The Beck Diet Solution. It's written by a cognitive therapist who has studied the "thinking strategies" of people who are overweight and those who are not. The goal of the book is to put the reader through a set of mental exercises to help them see the ways their thinking patterns hold them back.

Now, I am neither new age-y or into diet books, but a really sharp woman who had lost a lot of weight and kept it off recommended it to me. I've found it super helpful. I'm not saying it's a magic trick, but it has helped me understand how some of the things that I thought should help me lose weight were holding me back.

An example is the way that I would beat up on myself when, like you, I'd not hit my goal for the week / day / hour. Rather than changing my plan or just moving on, I'd think I'd failed. According to Beck, that is a thinking behavior of those of us who struggle with our weight -- we expect perfectionism when we're "dieting." People who have a healthy lifestyle, she argues, don't expect that. They just adjust accordingly (whether that adjustment is new lifestyle guideposts, an extra walk to burn of some of those cookie-calories or whatever) and they move on. They don't make this about who the fundamentally are.

So don't beat up on yourself. That will make adopting new lifestyle choices harder, not easier. Also? If this sounds like right thinking to you, you might want to see if your library has the book .

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Nothing is wrong with you! You are human. We all fall down, all the time.

Find a support group. Mine is on the DIS, link in my signature. You are more than welcome to come over and meet us and find support!

Forgive yourself. Don't beat yourself up for every mistake! You are human, it's okay to be human.

Let go of the past. Focus on just this meal, this moment. Not on a lifetime of choices - who could handle that pressure?

Laugh. Laugh at yourself, at the absuridity of life, at a funny movie, and the things people do who make you crazy. Just laugh. Trust me, I take everything too seriously and this really helps.

You can do this!!!

 

[yulilin3]

Agree with all PP.
For me it's been a complete change, not only of what I eat, but how I eat and why I eat.
I was a super fast eater, your brain needs at least 15min to process it's full so I slowed down.
The other things was a tight eating schedule. Eat breakfast at 8am, snack around 11am. Lunch at 1, snack around 3:30 dinner at 6pm.
Lastly I don't think of myself as "dieting" but as a permanent change in food consumption. This is what I'll eat for the rest of my life. I talked to my family, (DH, DS16 and DD11) and I am the only one overweight in my family but we all agreed that sugary, slaty snacks are not good for you. SO we cleared the entire house of cookies, crackers, chips...only thing left is fat free yogurt, sugar free jello, low fat/sugar ice cream and lots and lots of fruit options.
As to excersice, It is hard to get into a routine, at the begining it hurts, you don't feel like doing it. Remind yourself why this is good for you and how amazing you'll feel after doing it.
Find something you love, I've tried kickboxing, treadmill, weights...nothing really stuck, until I found Zumba, I love to dance and this is the perfect workout for me. I feel awesome after doing it, so energized.
I also just completed my first 5K (The Royal Family this past weekend) at first I thought it was mo big deal to walk/jog only 3.1 miles. My husband made me feel like I had just completed a marathon!! Give yourself credit, if you just do 20min. of anything is better than not doing it. I say out loud "You Did It!!" each time I finish my Zumba class or train for my next races (I'm already registered for the Tower of Terror 10 miler).
Most important: don't beat yourself up. Everyone falls the important thing is to not give up. Make it an entire life change.

 

[erinna]

Agree with all PP.
...nothing really stuck, until I found Zumba, I love to dance and this is the perfect workout for me. I feel awesome after doing it, so energized.

If I may ask: classes or dvd? I'd like to try "the Zumba," but I'm not clear where to start. Any thoughts?

Thanks! E.

 

[ohMom]

great wisdom already shared...i just wanted to add in that yes, i 'sabotage' my efforts, feel guilty, the whole vicious cycle...(hugs)...you are here and looking for a better way and that's a huge step in a different and healthier direction!

 

[belledreamer]

Great advice given so far. Another one who has been there before. It's perfectly human when you're trying to make better choices for your health to fall to the wayside every once in a while. Just don't beat yourself up over it and try to make healthier choices the next day.

Some suggestions that have helped me:

1) Set a motivation for yourself to stay on track. For me, it was fitting back into my rings (Which I've reached ) and now it's fitting back into my 'Cinderella dress' and running the Disney 5k. And that's been the biggest motivator to keep away from foods that aren't so good for me.

2) Try to drink your 64oz of water daily. You wouldn't believe how much better you feel (and how much less you'll eat) when you get all your water in every day.

3) Remember that 'dieting' does not mean you have to deprive yourself of everything you love. For instance, I LOVE chocolate! But instead of getting a Hershey bar, I buy the Hershey Kisses and every once in a while only eat two. For the two, it's 44 calories and I can have a sweet fix without blowing my diet. As long as you exercise self control, you can find a way to still eat the foods you love; just in smaller portions.

As my DM always says: "It's okay to have a cookie or two every once in a while. It's not okay to eat the whole pack in one sitting."

4) Count your calories!!! I use myfitnesspal.com to count my calories to make sure I'm not eating too many calories and also that I'm getting enough.

5) Come join us on the DISboards Biggest Loser Challenge! Having a support system (and a weigh-in every Friday) has been such a great help to me and to keeping me on track. Since starting Jan 1, I'm already 15 lbs lighter and feeling so much better. Come and meet us!

6) Stick with it. The first three weeks were the hardest for me, but once I made it over that hump, it got alot easier. Sure, you'll stumble every once in a while; but stumbling isn't failure. Just try to make a better choice next time.

Hope this helps!

 

[yulilin3]

If I may ask: classes or dvd? I'd like to try "the Zumba," but I'm not clear where to start. Any thoughts?

Thanks! E.

I only do the dvd's (I have exhilirate set and the total body transformation) I don't have the option of going to classes but with these dvd's I've been able to lose 25lbs. The thing that I like about the complete sets is that they give you plenty of variety. You get a 20min. rush workout, a full 60min. Abs, strenght training, in the exhilirate you get the Mix dvd (music form all over the world) so you don't get bored.
There are videos of songs on youtube from plenty of different gyms, so maybe you can check and do a couple of those and see if you like it.
Like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNnMYxUK-40
I actually made a playlist of a whole body workout using videos found on youtube

 

[PrincessRhi]

For me, weight loss is now about two things: finding support and making long-term changes in my life. I was GREAT at losing weight on diets that changed my entire lifestyle overnight but could never keep any losses off for anything longer than a month or two before weight would start creeping back on. I'd ignore the cravings and then BAM!... wait... where did that box of Twinkies go?

My current plan is to lose 5 lbs a month. I started on Jan 1, and my changes have been things like making sure I get breakfast every day, being mindful of actual portion sizes and not the ones I invent, eating one vegetarian meal a day (usually lunch), switching to lean protein as much as possible, switching foods that still satisfy 'unhealthy' cravings (falafel chips at 110 calories, 6g fat instead of potato chips at 160 calories, 10g fat), and eating veggies for snacks when I can. Due to some health stuff going on, I can't exercise the way I'd like, but I'll try to get in 2 really slow miles on an elliptical twice a week-- it doesn't always happen. I haven't cut out my food splurges, I just splurge less often. Beer and wine? They're going nowhere. So far, I'm down 13 lbs. It doesn't seem like much when I think about how I want to lose 80, and considering I could lose more on a stricter diet. But the way I'm doing it will hopefully bring about long-term healthy changes so I don't have to do this again. I feel like for the first time as a dieter, I'm starting to 'get it'.

As far as support goes, I love being able to have a group of people that I can bounce ideas off, and who can tell me things like "put down the red velvet cake" without judging me if I didn't. It's also great that my boyfriend is open to healthier food changes as well, and loves seeing which vegetables I pick out at the market. He has a stash of junk food that I don't think he realizes I know about, but I love the fact that he cares enough to not eat it in front of me. I don't see Cheetos, I don't want Cheetos. Well, I do want them, but you get my picture.

I think my advice would be to keep things realistic for you.

If you like cookies, keep them around. Maybe they come in a healthier version so if you do lapse and eat the sleeve, you're only getting half or two-thirds the calories that you would have ingested instead. Or if you buy a pack of your usual cookies, immediately store them in baggies according to serving size or half serving size so you know exactly what you're getting.

If you can't get to the gym, is there something else active that you can do? Gardening/housework? Stairs instead of elevator? Maybe getting out for a walk once a day?

 

[erinna]

I only do the dvd's (I have exhilirate set and the total body transformation) I don't have the option of going to classes but with these dvd's I've been able to lose 25lbs. The thing that I like about the complete sets is that they give you plenty of variety. You get a 20min. rush workout, a full 60min. Abs, strenght training, in the exhilirate you get the Mix dvd (music form all over the world) so you don't get bored.
There are videos of songs on youtube from plenty of different gyms, so maybe you can check and do a couple of those and see if you like it.
Like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNnMYxUK-40
I actually made a playlist of a whole body workout using videos found on youtube

Thanks for the great advice!

 

[bumbershoot]

People who have a healthy lifestyle, she argues, don't expect that. They just adjust accordingly (whether that adjustment is new lifestyle guideposts, an extra walk to burn of some of those cookie-calories or whatever) and they move on. They don't make this about who the fundamentally are.

Oh, I think that's so true!

My brother and sister in law are fit, trim people. She's always been small, though I've seen her in both not quite as small and really really small phases. My brother found his trim body in 10th grade and has, to a great extent, held on to that (he's 40 now). If he wants some beers that night, he doesn't have dessert. If he has dessert in his plans, he has one or zero beers. He runs EVERY morning. He used to take the weekends off, but then he had to psych himself up on Monday to convince himself to go, and that was taking too much energy, so he stopped taking a day off. Every day. If he can't run, he swims.

For a year he had a tiny undiagnosed hernia; while going from specialist to specialist to convince them it was a hernia, it wasn't the running, and the pain felt like it was killing him when he did run, he had to swim. Despite swimming a ton, he gained weight that year. It took a few months, after the recovery from the hernia surgery (the surgeon said that he was surprised he even felt the hernia, it was so tiny), to lose that weight.

At no point in there did my brother take his weight *personally*. If it were me, I would have deemed myself a loser, and would have consoled myself in untold numbers of cookies and cakes.... I've always taken my weight personally... It's not really helping me, though!

As my DM always says: "It's okay to have a cookie or two every once in a while. It's not okay to eat the whole pack in one sitting."

Love that!!!!!



Keep moving forward, OP!

 

[ge0rgette2]

Try to drink your 64oz of water daily.[/B] You wouldn't believe how much better you feel (and how much less you'll eat) when you get all your water in every day.

3) Remember that 'dieting' does not mean you have to deprive yourself of everything you love. For instance, I LOVE chocolate! But instead of getting a Hershey bar, I buy the Hershey Kisses and every once in a while only eat two. For the two, it's 44 calories and I can have a sweet fix without blowing my diet. As long as you exercise self control, you can find a way to still eat the foods you love; just in smaller portions.

As my DM always says: "It's okay to have a cookie or two every once in a while. It's not okay to eat the whole pack in one sitting."


6) Stick with it. The first three weeks were the hardest for me, but once I made it over that hump, it got alot easier. Sure, you'll stumble every once in a while; but stumbling isn't failure. Just try to make a better choice next time.

Hope this helps!

Thanks!!!

I'm my worst enemy!!! I have the best intentions, do well then BOOM, sabotage myself, either from stress, boredom or just over indulging!

Stress is a big one for me! I try not too, but do it to myself each time.

I'm into fast gratification... I know it took a while to put the weight on, I did this to myself, but want it gone ASAP!! I can't wait.. If i do poorly, I put myself down and dive into something I shouldn't have.

I do well on a diet and then I start cheating.
I really can't figure out why... then the depression kicks in. I'm a failure.

I started going to the gym -- did the treadmill was feeling good, watching my intake of food. Then I went to a sculpt class, it was pretty easy for me, next day my body hurt a bit, nothing bad, took a few aspirins.

Next day, knee was killing me, it's been over a week, went to the doc, sending me for an MRI tomorrow, he's thinking i tore something in the cartlidge area, so .. here I sit doing nothing again!

I work under pressure and going on a cruise 5/25, when will I wake up.. I want that quick fix before hand and I know I won't lose that much between now and then. I'm always looking for that new diet/DVD/video that's going help me, when it's all my mind that isn't working.

Why do I feel that I"m not worth it?

I allow the drama at my daughter's school, with the Mom's and their drama brought into my life which bothers me, to eat those chips, usually Girl Scout cookies being my fave now

Childhood? Could it be.. sure, I guess..
I was a very competitive swimmer till age of 21, not so long ago LOL
After my son's birth 20 years ago, I struggled on and off keeping my weight down. Now here I am 100 lbs overweight, after the birth of my daughter, i've continued struggling.

My husband said I should get back into the water and swim swim swim.
Besides the cost of all the gyms, videos, etc, I can't afford to swim. I would have to go everyday and it's about $10.00 per day, just not in the budget right now.

Okay - i've vented and yes, I probably need a psychiatrist!

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

OP - you ARE worth it!!!

I could have written your post. I'm "good" for a few days, then the scale goes up a pound and I throw my hands up and give up, mentally berating myself all that day and the next, all the while binging on carbs. Until I feel guilty, then I'm "good" again for a few days, you see where this is going...

I guess the reality is that there will always be some drama somewhere in our lives. We can't eat our way thru all of it, because it will never end. There will always be the next drama around the corner.

DH is thin. I asked him how often he feels like he can take a break from keeping track/watching what he's eating, and he said NEVER. He thinks about moderation every day. Here I'm thinking well, if I can be "good" for a couple weeks and get a break and overeat for a day I can do it. Uh, no. No binges ever. Sounds crazy even to type this out. That I'm trying to rationalize eating too much.

Start a journal and write it all down, what you eat, how you feel. I will try to do better in this too!

Good luck w/ your knee. Mine sucks right now. Ice and Aleve are your friends!

When I get down on myself, I try to break it down into small increments. Like, let's just worry about tomorrow right now. One day of control. I have a cruise in the works too. I'll do it with ya!