UPDATE on my son JOHN--and I missed the whole thing!

[Big V]

 

[luvmarypoppins]

What wonderful news Minky. I know when you shared your story that some people were slamming you, I was NOT one of them and told you that you were doing the right thing and had all you could do at the time with christian too. I am so glad that your prayers have been answered. What a wonderful blessing!!

 

[DizBelle]

Ah yes, tough love pays off. It seems that John is finally starting to grow up - a little late at 23 but getting there nonetheless. As hard as it was, you did the right thing all those months ago. Burden lifed. Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax.

BTW - how's Eric doing? Is he still living with you?

 

[minkydog]

Awww, minkydog I'm so happy for you and family ! What a wonderful way to start the New Year out !!! You must be over the moon that John is realizing you and family have always loved him and had his best interest at heart . Between this and your new job, bet you feel like you have a new lease on life! Always so nice to see light at the end of the tunnel. Prayers answered ^i^

This has been a very hard 12 months, first with my own breakdown and leavng my job, and then our issues with John & Eric. EVen though I didn't really talk with John a lot last night, it was just so nice to have him with us sitting around, watching American Idol. BEfore they left, they agreed to come over for dinner this weekend.

Ah yes, tough love pays off. It seems that John is finally starting to grow up - a little late at 23 but getting there nonetheless. As hard as it was, you did the right thing all those months ago. Burden lifed. Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax.

BTW - how's Eric doing? Is he still living with you?

Tough love is HARD on parents.I remember when my own brother went through this stuff. He'll tell you in a heartbeat that he was an immature idiot until he "saw the light" at age 27. He had a wife and a kid and a dead-end factory job. One day just woke up and walked into the Navy recruiter, walked out a sailor. BEst move he ever made. He got a lot of education in the Navy and ultimately was able to carve out a very successful business for himself because of it. I often think of my brother when I see John making choices that might not be good for him--they are SOOOooo much alike.

Eric is still with us, still going to school. He's trying to get a job and he got an offer from a former employer down in Key West (we live in Atlanta.) This semester Eric is taking online classes, so he could easily go down there to work and continue to accrue credits. He is also looking into taking some classes down there in the Keys. We are not saying much about it, except to act as a sounding board for him as he tries to figure out what to do. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if he decides to leave, but I'm not going to boot him to the curb (at least, not as long as he continues to obey the rules.)

 

[Robinrs]

Wow, I know you're thrilled!! God bless your family!

 

[sorcerormickey]

That's wonderful news, Minky!

 

[ead79]

What wonderful news!!

I know you must be just over the moon!

 

[PatsGirl]

Not "sad" just tears of "yeah, been there, so happy for you!" Tough love at its best Mom and I know firsthand just how hard it is!

 

[golfgal]

My in-laws had to kick out one of DH's brothers, similar story, not working, not helping around the house, etc. They said it was the hardest thing they ever had to do but the best thing they ever did for him. It's been 20 years and it was a VERY good thing. It is nice that John came to this realization sooner rather than later though.

 

[minkydog]

My in-laws had to kick out one of DH's brothers, similar story, not working, not helping around the house, etc. They said it was the hardest thing they ever had to do but the best thing they ever did for him. It's been 20 years and it was a VERY good thing. It is nice that John came to this realization sooner rather than later though.

I agree. And I am proud of John for landing on his feet. I"m sure it was difficult for him, but he found a place to live and is paying his bills. He's not starving and he was wearing new shoes. So he's obviously doing something right! I think moving out was the best thing he could have done. I believe he has come to realize that he is a better person when he takes care of himself and lives separately from his parents.

My DH comes from a line of men who live off their mamas. He was surrounded by it growing up and when he graduated HS he left and never went back. That was not the life for him! His own father lived off his Grandmother until he passed at age 63! And an uncle lived off his own mother until she passed at 97!! He just about drained her bank accounts before she died, too. What a snake

There is no way we are going to support a grown adult who is capable of holding down a job and refuses to do so. Not talking about a kid in temporary difficulty--of course we would help any of our kids if they find themselves in a bad situation. But we have one son who will always be a baby and who will need expensive care for the rest of his life. Our gift to our normal kids is that we have funded his trust for just that reason, so they won't have to take him in and care for him 24/7 when *they* start their families. They are expected to make their way in the world. Living in my basement playing video games all night & day is NOT an option.

 

[Carys]

I'm so happy things have turned around for you guys, the best times are yet to come