I am certain I can string this TR out for several more months, but I will do my best to finish. PJ? Have we ticked everybody off and lost the crowd yet?

What's that? There are still a few stragglers left. Alrighty then, away we go.
I awoke early on Sunday mixed with a feeling of excitement and dread. The last day at Disney is always so bittersweet. You are thankful for the memories, but sad to see it end.
I dress slowly and glance over at RonStoppable. He is still sleeping so I decide to slip out quietly and grab some breakfast. I pause for a moment by The Gurgling Suitcase. There is a line of guests sleepily ordering coffee and Diet Cokes. For some reason, I SKIP the line and take a stroll around the pool. It's just me and Nick, the pool guy.
I glance at the slide and grin. Didn't I make a fool of myself on that very slide only a few short hours ago? Why yes, yes I did. Do I care? not anymore. Silently I tell myself that I will bring my kids back to the slide so they can watch mommy make a fool of herself yet again. I can already hear their shrieks of laughter and I chuckle.
"Good morning" Nick says as he passes by. "Are you enjoying your stay?"
I tell him that I am, but that today is going home day.
"Awwww. too bad. Where is home?" Nick asks
"Indiana." I inform him
Nick then inquires as to my exact location in Indiana.
I tell him of the name of my small town, but knowing that he will have never heard of it, I add that it is X miles from Louisville, KY
"Kentucky?"
"Yes" I answer, knowing the question that is coming next. It always seems to be the question people ask when they find out I live near Kentucky.
"Is the grass really
blue?"
I shake my head and say "Not exactly. You should come visit and see for yourself."
He laughs and tells me maybe someday he will. Nick wishes me a magical freakin' day or some other Disney appropriate response and I press on.
I walk to the bridge and watch the ducks for a few minutes. It is such a beautiful morning and it's nice to be walking and enjoying the Florida sunshine. It's one of those "it's a great day to be alive" mornings. Who sings it, Peej?
Back at The Gurgling Suitcase, I order a bowl of fruit and a Diet Coke. I glance at my cell phone and check the time. PJ will be here soon, so I park it on a bench and wait. I am lost deep in thought, reflecting on my spur of the moment WDW trip. I look around at the hotel grounds. I enjoy the quaint and relaxed atmosphere here. It is then and there I realize I luv OKW. It is so peaceful and laid back there. I want to come back and do it all again.
Sinking deeper into thought, I quickly become oblivious to all activity around me. I absentmindedly pop a piece of pineapple into my mouth and chew slowly. I give my head a little shake, and deep down inside a little voice says "something's not right. wake up idiot!"
I look up. There's PJ.
"Hiiiiiii" (a full octave higher than normal, dontchaknow?)
I blink a couple of times and give her half a smile.
"What in the world were you thinking about?!?"
I smile and tuck my I luv OKW and all things Disney thoughts away for now. I'll ponder on them later. No sense in getting PJ all excited about my fictional return trip.
It was then that a very peculiar acting lady stops mid-stride and stares at PJ and I. I nudge PJ, and we both stare back. She keeps staring for a second, but before PJ or I can say "May we help you?", she scurries away.
"That was wIerd" we both say.
JINX!
You owe me a diet coke! But since we both already have diet cokes, it was a wash. Besides, I dont want PJ's germs, ya know?
AND anybody who knows me knows sharing a Diet Coke is a big dot deal.*ahem*
After I finish my fruit, I hop up to throw my container in the nearest trash receptacle. Having disposed of my garbage, I turned to head back to the room. But when I turned around it was not PJ that I saw. It was the stalker lady again.

I glanced down at her hands. EMPTY! She had no trash to throw away!! She looked at me. I looked at her. I opened my mouth to speak
"Uhhhh..." (eloquent, I know@@)
Crazystalkerwoman put her head down and once again quickly scurried away.
PJ looks at me incredously. "Who is that and what does she want?"
I try to give the lady the benefit of the doubt, being the oh so nice person that I am. But frankly woman, you are making it very difficult to justify your gawking and staring. I mean, c'mon, I know we are hotT college chicks and all, but is it necessary to be so obvious in your admiration?
We chalk it up to coinkydink and head back to the room. The walk back is strangely quiet as extreme lethargy has set in and our pace has slowed to turtle-like in nature. strike that. Sloth-like would be more apropos.
I stop mid sloth-like stride.
"SHHHHH!!!!!!" I demand
"I'm not saying ANYTHING" Peej replies defensively.
I shoot her a look that says if you utter one sound, I will not be responsible for my actions. PJ=

I could care less about PJ and her @@'s at the moment. My "something is askew" radar has gone off once again.
I hear a rustling in the bushes. Marita? Is that you?
"Somebody's behind us!" I exclaim in a hoarse whisper
"WHO?!?!"
"I dont know. They are BEHIND us." Now it's my turn to
I do a 180 and lo and behold, look who it is! Oh yes, stalker lady has found us again! PJ turns around. It's deja vu (all over again). She stares. We stare.
PJ says "Do you need something?" AND once again, she ducks her head down and scurries back to the bushes.
"Why is she going back into the shrubbery?" I ponder "Perhaps she is a woodland elf?"
That comment was so stupid that in our sleep deprived state it SEEMED really funny. I realize now that it is anything BUT funny. We start to laugh. too much.
Loopiness has occured. *yikes*
We continue down the path towards the bbn room. Our room is tucked away into the corner of the building and is very private. There are no other buildings to the right of it and our room is on the end. It's been pretty much a ghost town around our room since we arrived. What I'm trying to say is this: There is NO reason for a creepy wIerd woman to be anywhere near our room.
Howevah, when PJ and I turn the corner, my heart stops. There she is! (she's
anything but Miss America...)
1. How did she beat us here?
I can only surmise she used the bushes as a shortcut.
2. Why did she beat us here?
Everybody wants to stalk hotT college chicks?
3. What does she want?
I got nuthin'
Our "neighbor" comes out of his room next door to ours. Maybe stalker lady knows him! Nope. He looks at her, looks at us, smiles and then is on his way.
Now I am annoyed. "Do I know you?" I inquire. Stalker lady gives me the most bizarre look I think I have ever received from another human being. It was a look of "you dont know me, but you should"
Just when I'm about to pull a Code Donald on her stalker self, she smiles creepily and gets the heck out of Dodge.
I say very loudly "That woman is messin' with me and I am not going to put up with it much longer!" Pj is too tired to join me in my antistalking sentiments. She simply nods her head in agreement and smiles.
RS is dressed and ready to go when we enter the room. I need to finish packing some more stuff, so I grab the small suitcase and head to the bathroom to put away toiletries. I'm in there approx 5 minutes. MAYBE ten...at the MOST. When I emerge, RS is sitting at the table flipping through t.v. channels and PJ is lying on the bed in the fetal position.
I tap her foot "I'm ready!"
PJ doesn't move.
I tap her foot again "READY!!"
Nothing.
I cannot believe this! There is fun and merriment to be had. We are at THE happiest place on Earth. You can sleep all you want after you're dead. DUH!
"HEY, Princess Jasmine! Times a wastin'. Chop chop. Let's go."
She groans.
A groan?? Oh, no no, that simply will not do. Must have fun. Must have merriment. And PJ is literally our ticket into the park.
RS is picking up suitcases and heading out the door. Great! Leave me here alone to wake up the loserfreak.
Exasperated, I pull her ankle
(very gently).
PJ's eyes fly open. "WHAT?!?!?!?"
"Oh were you sleeping?"

"Let's go. Last one to the car is a rotten egg" That makes me think of the POTC song. I can't help it. I start to sing. ("We're devils and black sheep - really bad eggs Drink up me hearties yo ho")
"You're such a loser" PJ informs me as she lazily uncurls from the fetal position.
"I know. Who would fly 900 miles just to meet YOU?? It's been a thrill a minute, lemmetellya." I retort sarcastically.
and THAT is how we roll. (roll Tide roll. Any 'Bama fans out there? Sorry. I had to work in a sports reference somewhere)
RS is waiting patiently outside and inquires as to the location of our veehickuhl for the day. This just happens to be Hollywoods convertible.
I remark how we are like Thelma and Louise with Brad Pitt to boot. 'Cept I'm not a six foot tall member of Mensa, PJ isn't an outspoken left wing liberal, and RS has never adopted a kid from Cambodia nor impregnated Angelina Jolie. My two cohorts look at me like I'm crazy. What? WHAT? Whaaaaat?
We make our way through the parking lot and I kid you not, but lurking very near Hollywoods car is GUESS WHO? I am officially ticked off. I am telling my husband on you, you, you, you big meanie crazy lady. so there.
As we approach the car, stalker lady continues to stare us us. RS looks puzzled, turns to PJ, and inquires as to if she is a friend of PJ's. That would be a negative on the known identity of stalker woman.
RS puts the suit cases in the car and shuts the trunk. He glances over at our new BFF and looks at her inquisitively.
"Let's go." I say cheerfully. "We are heading to EPCOT and we need to beat the crowd!" Isnt that clever? Now stalker lady thinks we are going to Epcot. I swear I'm a freakin' genius. hee hee
We pile into the car and PJ says.
"so we're going to Epcot now?"
Oh
Good
Lord
There aint an eye roll smiley big enough to properly portray the eye roll that PJ just received from me.
"Animal Kingdom. Stat. Dont ask questions. Drive"
I flip down the visor and glance in the mirror. Our new stalking bff seems sad. Perhaps we've ruined her fun for the day. I almost feel sorry for her as her lips turn down and her head hangs. I roll down the window and holler
"Come to Animal Kingdom. Harass us there. It's all good" or not.
I really have no explanation for her behavior that day. Perhaps she thought we really were Thelma and Louise. Better yet, maybe she thought we were Cinderella and Belle. Maybe she was an autograph hound. Maybe she thought we had escaped from a character breakfast and she was merely trying to right that wrong.
Maybe she was mentally unstable. Maybe it WAS a huge conincidence.
Whatever the reasons, all I can say is WDW is not exempt from wIerdos.
present company excluded.
of course.
and if you're reading this crazywoman, these are for you.