Trying to decide between a DW and an at-home wedding

[winnieatepooh]

I apologize in advance for the rambling that this post will certainly include!

I've been lurking on the Disney Wedding forums for a while (I've been engaged for 2.5 years!) but after realizing a few things, I'm leaning really close to having a Disney World Wedding.

I always assumed I would have a big at-home wedding with a couple hundred people. I also never thought that a Disney Wedding was affordable enough to even consider it. But now that the date I've been eying is getting closer (October 2014) I've been doing some serious thinking, I've realized that the only reason I was going to have a big wedding was to accommodate not only my fiance's giant extended family, but (the bigger issue) future mother-in-law's massive friends group. My own family is very small with a few very close friends.

My fiance and I are looking to purchase a house in the next few months, and my parents are in no position to pay for a wedding, so the cost would ultimately be left up to us. We simply cannot afford a big extravagant wedding with as many people as would "need" to be invited. SO, that led me to the thought of having an Escape Wedding. (Or even a memories wedding, with just the two of us...)

My first question is, did anyone else have this same dilemma? I know it is our wedding, and that we ultimately need to do what we want to do, and not what will please an extended family and friends group that we hardly know or see. I just wonder if anyone else out there went back and forth like I am with these two completely opposite weddings, and which one did you choose? Were you happy with your ultimate decision?

My next question is, did any of you have a celebration party before you go? I was speaking with a few friends and they suggested we throw a Jack & Jill before the more intimate Disney Wedding, so that we could invite everyone above and beyond what we would have been able to afford at a "regular" wedding. I have been to a few great Jack & Jill's, none like the horror stories I've found on this thread! We would charge for a ticket into the event to help offset the cost, but would have some great raffles put together by us, our families, and friends, and I would also have a ton of food, drinks, dancing...very casual, but fun...which is all we really want. I don't even think we would really need a wedding shower, as we'll have everything basic we'll need as far as housewares and etc. because we live together already.

We are both just people pleasers at heart, but are realizing that we need to do what we want to do...which is get married at WDW . Our undying love for Disney is the thread that links us both together, haha. We are trying to work out a happy medium so that we can spend some time with all of the people we wish we could invite to a wedding, and then have a smaller, more intimate wedding with the most important people in our lives in our favorite place in the entire universe.

Does having a Jack & Jill before we get married (to spend time with all of our loved ones) and then having a small ceremony at WDW sound like a reasonable solution? What do you all think? Do you have situations similar to mine? I'd love to hear about it! Thanks so much for reading all my blah-blah-blah, I'm so excited to really be participating in this thread and I look forward to doing so more often!

 

[MEK]

Does having a Jack & Jill before we get married (to spend time with all of our loved ones) and then having a small ceremony at WDW sound like a reasonable solution? What do you all think? Do you have situations similar to mine? I'd love to hear about it! Thanks so much for reading all my blah-blah-blah, I'm so excited to really be participating in this thread and I look forward to doing so more often!

I think this is an awesome idea if your finances allow for this. If nothing else, you can at least have a Disneymoon! Congratulations and happy planning!

 

[winnieatepooh]

I think this is an awesome idea if your finances allow for this. If nothing else, you can at least have a Disneymoon! Congratulations and happy planning!

Thank you! I think if we did some saving up we would be able to rent a hall for a decent price and have one of our local restaurants do the catering. And yes if we do end up having an at home ceremony a Disneymoon is the only way to go, for sure!

 

[lurkyloo]

We did our Disney wedding for those who were able to come and then held a reception back home afterward. We showed our video and passed around photo books. It was just a casual open house, though—we didn't charge anyone money to attend.

 

[sambycat]

I don't think there is a wedding that doesn't have some kind of issue along these lines! Only you know your family and friends, but I personally would be wary of charging people to come to a shower? I guess I would hope and hint that maybe someone would want to throw you an engagement party or celebration of some sort prior if you want to celebrate that way and then I would do either the escape or memories package (if that's what you guys want) and send announcements and maybe have a celebration at home after? Or the simple at home wedding and a nice honeymoon! Good luck!

 

[winnieatepooh]

We did our Disney wedding for those who were able to come and then held a reception back home afterward. We showed our video and passed around photo books. It was just a casual open house, though—we didn't charge anyone money to attend.

I know...thinking about the Jack & Jill I hate having people to buy a ticket. We just won't be able to afford to have a reception otherwise. The town hall is looking mighty nice Thank you for your input, I love your idea. If we start saving now we can probably afford to have something casual and invite people to celebrate with us afterwards as you suggested...thank you!

 

[winnieatepooh]

I don't think there is a wedding that doesn't have some kind of issue along these lines! Only you know your family and friends, but I personally would be wary of charging people to come to a shower? I guess I would hope and hint that maybe someone would want to throw you an engagement party or celebration of some sort prior if you want to celebrate that way and then I would do either the escape or memories package (if that's what you guys want) and send announcements and maybe have a celebration at home after? Or the simple at home wedding and a nice honeymoon! Good luck!

You're totally right. I do think some people would be upset that the couldn't see us get married. It's not feasible to have some people (grandparents especially) fly to come to our wedding, so even though that's something we would want to do maybe it's not what we SHOULD do. I guess that means, as you said, we will just pump a little more Disney magic into our Honeymoon! Thank you so much for your opinion!