Trying to be the bigger person here!

[twinmomplus2new]

My soon to be ex's parents are having thier 50 anniversay next week. One weeek out I recieved a call from my EX saying. each child was supposed to submit a scrapbook page. Saying thier fave memories of thier Grandparents and Thank you for all they have done. (these people have seen my children once in the last year.) They live an hour away.
Anyway.... The 2 older kids did not anything to do with this project WHATSOEVER. they said Thank you for what? And things along that line. The little ones have no idea who they even are. So I made 3 pages alot of pictures cropped(My pictures) The 2 older kids combined on one page. The 2 little ones on another and a third with everyone cousins Uncles etc...Then to get around the kids not wanting to write anything or say anything. I bought a bunch of 50th aniversary cards and cropped the sayings and scrapbooked them. Total time about 3 hours of MY TIME.
Whats my point. I just got forwarded an e-mail from my ex, From his sisters. That EVEN Lauren (ME) would be allowed to participate. And that it would be a nice gesture on my part. I am spitting nails. I did the stuff for the kids and did it well out of respect for 2 elderly people. ANd I am still the bad one. I am tempted to put the stuff away and just stop trying to be cival. Some people are just rude.

 

[kild]

Send the pages and decline the invite to attend. If you are pressured let them know how the kids feel. If that doesn't work, pee on his leg

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I know I was ranting... I already declined the invite to attend. They are driving around in a limo, to all the places they went when younger then out to dinner. The scrapbook will be gone through in the Limo. I am not upset about that. I am PO'ed. After all the work I put it. He is presenting as if he has done it. AND passing on wouldn't it be nice if I did somthing too... AM I missing somthing? I was the one that did it.

 

[kild]

Sign your name with a sharpie on the pages or on the back of them.

 

[hockeymom7691]

Originally posted by kild
If that doesn't work, pee on his leg

Sounds like a good idea to me!!!

 

[ScarlettO]

Originally posted by kild
Sign your name with a sharpie on the pages or on the back of them.

Yes!

 

[lindajo]

I am sure that your talent will show through on your beautiful work, and there is no way they would think your ex could produce such thoughtful pages for the scrapbook.(Except maybe the part about cutting your pictures out-you are too kind!) Please don't let this get to you too much, that is but one reason why he is soon to be your EX! What a bunch-you are lucky to be rid of them!

I like the idea of peeing on his leg, too!

 

[missypie]

I have inlaws who can be "intentionally ignorant" about things. If I did beautiful scrapbook pages for a 3 year old and not one from me, they would choose to believe that the 3 year old did his own and that I didn't do anything. If it were me (and I'm probably passive-agressive), I'd do the page from me, just so I wouldn't be criticized later for "not doing one."

My inlaws have their 50th this summer, too, and we live the furthest away of all the kids (they're in Minn and we're in TX)....one family is in the same town. I told my DH that he needs to volunteer in writing (e-mail) to help with the party plans, so they can decline his help in writing...otherwise, when we get there, we will be trashed for not helping with the plans. That's the way they are.

 

[momof2inPA]

I don't understand why you did the scrapbook pages in the first place. You should have told the ex to do them with the kids, or without them if they didn't want to do it.

Not to sound critical, but you're a better person than I am.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I did the scrapbook pages. Because no matter what they are The Grandparents of my kids. And it was the respectful thing to do for elderly people in thier eighties. It will however be the last time.

As for him doing it himself. with the kids. He was making up stuff and writing it from the kids. (To make it sound good) And the 2 older. Were adament they not participate in making up what great Grandparents they had.


For example... 4 years ago when we had our twins. They lent us the money to add another bedroom. ( which we paid back) He wanted my 17 year old DD to write. Thanks for lending my parents the money for my new bedroom. Without you who knows where I would be sleeping?
Did I mention he is an idiot.
Can you imagine what other statements he thought were appropriate to say?

 

[CEDmom]

Will any of your children be at the party? If so, I bet one of them will bring up the fact that you did the pages.

 

[LScot]

Stick a family photo in there and cut your ex's head out.

The journal the breakup.

I'm kidding...sorta...I'd be tempted...*pushing halo back up*

Really, I think it is BIG of you to do this and you are doing the right thing. Just keep telling yourself that.

 

[luv2nascar]

my DH's parents aren't stupid enough to think he could design scrapbook pages of our children and them
They would know instantly that I did it no sharpie needed

 

[lindajo]

Originally posted by twinmomplus2new


Thanks for lending my parents the money for my new bedroom. Without you who knows where I would be sleeping?
Did I mention he is an idiot.
Can you imagine what other statements he thought were appropriate to say?

You never even had to say the word, "idiot". Good riddance to bad rubbish.

 

[Disney Doll]

Be the bigger person. I am sure that when most folks at the party see the pages, they willknow that you, and not your children, did them. If there are any comments about your not attending,. I would just say "Based on the circumstances between "Joe" and I, I thought my presence might cause some anxiety and take away from the happiness of the day."

Remember, living well is the best revenge!

 

[disykat]

I would not do your own page. It should be obvious that you did the ones for the kids and that should be enough.

I think expecting you to have your own page in a family scrapbook (complete with "you are wonderful" quotes) when you are in the middle of a divorce is unreasonable. Your role will be to support the kids in their relationship with their grandparents not to act like you are still part of your ex's extended family. I think they have put you in a very akward situation!

 

[disykat]

I just had another thought! Not real - just revenge thinking.

Since your ex wants to write "clever" comments you could do a page with pitures of you and your ex torn in half and then pictures of you getting on with your life. They you could write "thank you for raising your son who (fill in appropriate bratty response here)".

Sorry! I couldn't resist. I just can't imagine what they expect you to put in a family scrapbook under the circumstances.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I had the same fresh thoughts! What would I say Thanks for raising such a selfish son. I appreciate it. I could say much worse. But I will be nice!

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Send your EX an itemized bill for your photos, scrapbooking materials, and your time.

You won't get anything for it, but I'll bet you would have fun putting it together!!

 

[antbritt]

twinmomplus2new

I know how you feel. I left my idiotic selfish spouse a few years back and his family is stilll confused as to why. I used to think I should put up a sign that lists the reasons. But since then I have realized that they are the REASON he is the way he is!! So they could never understand how thier PERFECT little 42 year old boy could have ever done anything wrong. And By the Way my ex inlaws would actually think he did the work on a scrapbook or anything. But they are STUPID. So hopefully your ex's parents are brighter then mine.

I think that you are definetely a bigger person then me I at this point would never do anything for his parents or for him from my kids. I used to but not anymore. I thnk I kinda got sick of doing things for them only to have my children be ignored. So now I leave it up to them if they want to do something then I support it but I wont do it.
You have earned a place in Heaven!