Trip cancelled due to doctor recommendation

[TreeSapp]

Bad news, my in-law's anniversary trip to disney has been veto'ed by FIL's doctor. Has anyone else had this happen? I hear so many stories of "I'm not sure if I should head to disney, but my doctor says "go for it!"," that we really got our hopes up. But the doctor says she doesn't recommend a trip to disney.. FIL had chemo & a bone marrow/stem cell transplant a little over a year ago.

DH and I are just curious if this is pretty normal, or just FIL 'interpreting' the doctor's actual advice through a lens of fear? He rarely has left the hosue since his first diagnosis/chemo/transplant except to go to Dr appointments.

We won't force him into anything, but I just feel bad for MIL

 

[LockShockBarrel]

Well..if he hasn't left the house except to go to Dr appointments, perhaps Disney would be too much too fast anyway?

Frankly if the doctor said he doesn't recommend it, you should listen. Even if your FIL is maybe interpreting it as a no, maybe there's a reason for that. Is he saying "Stupid doctor said no" or is he accepting that advice? Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable going but doesn't want to disappoint anyone and this is just a handy sort of excuse where it doesn't come across like he's letting anyone down because it's the doctor saying no.

Just stuff to think about maybe

 

[old lady]

After the transplant and after treatment are, he should rest and then go to Disney world or land. He can go with a wheelchair and get a hotel inside the park.

 

[ToddyLu]

Your MIL won't go without him? Is he able to stay home alone? From just the few sentences you have written I agree with the PP about this being a bit much for your FIL and this is his way of letting you guys down easy. It may simply be too much for him and I would not longer push the issue. It is always a bit upsetting when you are anxious to do something special with family and they are just not interested or able to participate. If I had a transplant I would be a bit hesitant too, I think, and I love Disney.

 

[TreeSapp]

Yeah, it's an everybody goes or nobody goes situation. I'm not sure any one was expecting to real get more than an hour or two in the park out of him and then spend the rest of his day napping/watching TV in the hotel. MIL is trying to come up with another trip that will be less crowded/germy.

 

[Bete]

It might be the doctor feels he may be too compromised with his immune system to be out in the public with great crowds and a zillion germs. I had a friend with a complete stem cell replacement and she needs to get all the vaccines as if you were a child; so, she is very compromised, right now. Also, she is very weak and can barely handle her day to day life. She can't do the shots until her system is stronger. Other than doctor appointments she does not go out much. It's been about 6 months since she had the cell replacement. Finally, it may not be totally over in the sense that he might have some side effects that haven't popped up their ugly head yet.

If you want to go with your MIL and she agrees you may want to consider respite care for your father.

You could talk with the doctor and see if they would recommend any type of vacation. It may be a NO go, but maybe, there is an alternative trip that might be doable.

 

[Pooh2]

My dad had chemo and radiation 3 years ago. He is in his 70s, just never got back to his pretreatment energy levels, cannot do near what he used to and takes naps daily.

If it is not enjoyable for FIL to go on a vacation with that level of activity, maybe the MIL can go with another family member while someone checks in on dad.

 

[sumptimwong]

Everyone's situation is different, and we can only speculate the reason's for the doc's recommendation. They are usually good, but of course use your own discretion.

In the case of my late father, he was fighting a losing battle with Stage 4 melanoma. We were trying to decide whether or not to cancel our trip to Spain, as he was getting weaker each month. Doctor said there were no immediate health risks by going, but he did not think it was the best idea given his weakened system. If we did decide to go, he told us it was best to bring a lightweight transport wheelchair so he could always have a place to rest.

We ended up going, and bringing the wheelchair. We took it easy, and it was one of the most memorable experiences I have with my Dad. He passed away two months later, and we do not for a second have any regrets. We all had a great time, and the memories will last forever.

I hope your FIL is doing okay and beats whatever he is fighting, but I also hope that he doesn't let it prevent him from enjoying his life as well. Best of luck!

 

[WheeledTraveler]

Would it be possible to come up with a smaller trip to try closer to home? Your FIL and his doctors may be more on board with something less intense than WDW. He'd have closer access to his doctors if something did happen and it just would be less overall strain on his system.

It is easy to get scared and become close to housebound when dealing with serious health problems, especially ones that involve compromised immune systems. By working up from smaller things, it's possible that your FIL may become more comfortable with going out. It may also show that he can't handle the larger trips to places like WDW. I do think it's worth encouraging him to go out a little more, but WDW is a huge jump.

If I'm remembering everything correctly, it sounded like your MIL is the person who really wanted to go to WDW and I do think it's worth her (and the rest of the family) considering whether it's something she'd want to do with the grandkids/kids and without him or if she'd rather focus on the shorter, more local trips with him. It might actually be good for them to have a little time having fun doing their own things. I'm guessing they haven't had much time apart since he got sick and I wouldn't be surprised if there are things he'd want to do closer to home that she doesn't have any interest in. I don't know if it would be a matter of a "guys trip" and "gals trip" or what, but it's an idea to think about. Obviously, also, something could be arranged with respite for your FIL if your MIL wanted to go to WDW and he didn't want to do anything, but she might feel more comfortable going without him if there was also something special being planned for him to do while she was away.

 

[aliceclones]

After my brother had a bone marrow transplant he had to be VERY careful going into public for several years after. His kids even had to miss a ton of school because if another child came into the school ill they couldn't risk my nieces or nephew bringing those germs home, it could literally be a life or death situation. My guess is that is why your FILs Dr said it isnt a good idea right now. After a bone marrow transplant the immune system has to build up all over again, what may be a minor virus to you or me, could kill the person who is post transplant. I am sure you are all disappointed, but better safe than sorry. Disney will still be there when your FIL is healthy enough to go into public!

 

[DCDisney]

In these situations I think the Dr goes by the patient's attitude towards the trip. If he went in saying it's really important to me to go vs my family has this trip planned but it makes me really nervous type thing. The oncologist is only there for his patient. We had a situation with a family member undergoing chemo that missed out on a really important family event. If FIL wants to stay home then not much you can do about it.