total cost of being a bridesmaid

[FlyingDumbo]

Anyone had this honor lately? How much overall did it end up costing? I am kind of worried about the cost involved, since I will have to travel for all the events.

 

[SoonerKate]

MintLife did a great infographic on this recently, based on averages gathered from WeddingChannel. You can find it here.

Of course, a lot of those numbers depend on the bride -- my bridesmaids didn't have to pay for jewelry or hair/makeup, I specifically chose a dress they could wear regular lingerie with, and they ordered dresses from J. Crew that didn't need alterations. Still, for the most part, they look pretty accurate to me, based on my January 2011 wedding.

 

[smitch425]

My li'l sis is getting married next June and I live 2 1/2 hours away. Lots of back and forth travelling for me! Not only am I a bridesmaid, but both my kids are in the wedding, too! Oh well...I'll pay whatever I need to. She's happier than she's ever been so any cost is worth it to me.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

$1700 seems accurate to you? Oh my. Wondering if I should politely decline. Starting to panick, wondering how I am going to make this happen.

 

[sissy_ib]

$1700 seems accurate to you? Oh my. Wondering if I should politely decline. Starting to panick, wondering how I am going to make this happen.

You need to talk to the bride and find out what kind of wedding it is and what she expects you to pay for. Will you all be doing your own hair, make up and nails, will she bring someone in or will you be expected to go as a group to a salon and pay individually? Where are the dresses and shoes coming from and how much do they cost? How far are you having to travel and if an overnight stay is necessary will a room with a friend or relative be available or will you need to get a hotel room? Just a few things you need to know before you say yes.

 

[cats mom]

DD was a bridesmaid just last weekend. Between bachelorette party, bridal shower, wedding gift, dress, shoes, mani-pedi, etc. I'd estimate it probably cost approx $600 and I didn't count travel expenses in that total.

 

[CTdiznymom]

My DD was a bridesmaid this past March, and I would say she spent at least $500. The bride only had a matron of honor and 2 maids, so any expenses were only split 3 ways. Dress, shoes, bachelorette party, shower expenses (split with mother of bride) wedding gift. Luckily hair/makeup was the brides gift to them. She knows now to think about it before saying yes again!

 

[Evi]

It could be not much or quite a bit depending on what kind of wedding shes having. You'll be expected to pay for your dress, shoes, accessories, the bridal shower/bachlorette party (you can try to split it with the other bridesmaids but it really is your responsibility not theirs. Also depending on where the wedding is you'll need to transport yourself and provide accommodations for yourself. Not to mention go to all the errand running with the bride. Joys have fun. Seriously talk with your friend and find out what she expects from you. She may not have such grandiose expectations and it is truly an honor it means she trusts you the most.

 

[sissy_ib]

It could be not much or quite a bit depending on what kind of wedding shes having. You'll be expected to pay for your dress, shoes, accessories, the bridal shower/bachlorette party (you can try to split it with the other bridesmaids but it really is your responsibility not theirs. Also depending on where the wedding is you'll need to transport yourself and provide accommodations for yourself. Not to mention go to all the errand running with the bride. Joys have fun. Seriously talk with your friend and find out what she expects from you. She may not have such grandiose expectations and it is truly an honor it means she trusts you the most.

Why is it one bridesmaids responsibility? She is not the matron-of-honor. This is why DFH and I are going to an island and getting married by ourselves. I could not fathom asking ONE person to pay for TWO parties for me. Just rude IMHO. Guess this is why we are such homebodies. lol

 

[Evi]

oops I thought maid of honor bridesmaid only responsible for the other stuff.

 

[hazelB]

It would probably cost you $500-$700.

 

[walkdmc]

I was a bridesmaid twice in the past 5 years. Both weddings cost me in the $1000-$1500 range and I drove, no flying involved. Those costs included my dress, hair, accessories, my portion of the bachelorette's party, bridal shower and gift. My dress for one wedding was about $300 and the other was $180.

For both weddings, the bridesmaids split the costs of the bridal shower and gift equally. Even in a good economy, I never heard of the Maid of Honor footing the entire bill for the shower.

 

[Tistal]

It depends on the wedding really. I got married a couple years ago and my sisters were my bridesmaids. I think they spent maybe $500 max. This included shower gifts which they didn't need to give me or throw me a shower; I was happy without. They went in together on a lot of things so the lines are blurry, so I'm giving you a combined total. However, I didn't have a wedding they needed to travel to. I let them pick their dresses (they were about $100 if I remember correctly) and their own shoes. I gave them the jewelry they wore as a bridesmaid gift. For my bachelorette party we went to the local amusement park that we all have season passes to, so all that cost was gas to get there because we all had passes. So, it really depends on the bride and the event.

Now, my sister wants to do a destination wedding Yea, I'm worried about how much that one will cost me.

 

[SDSorority]

Anyone had this honor lately? How much overall did it end up costing? I am kind of worried about the cost involved, since I will have to travel for all the events.

GAWD. A few years ago I was in a wedding that I didn't even want to be in... but I did it because I'm a nice person . My dress was $250.



Luckily this was in town (at least driving distance).... and my family was invited to the wedding, so it wasn't THAT bad.

Though the $250 was a bit of a

 

[NeverlandClub23]

I was a bridesmaid for my cousin and it cost about $850 total.

One night in a hotel (wedding was about an hour away but since we had the rehearsal/dinner the night before I didn't want to drive up twice): $100

Dress: $175

Hair: $75 with tip

Shoes: $25 (we wore flip-flops; beach wedding)

Bridal shower: $50 (split between all the bridesmaids/MOH; just had simple party at the bride's mother's house)

Bachelorette $100 (nice dinner, went to a few bars after; we split the cost of the bride's meal/drinks)

Gift: $175

Miscellaneous (gas, food, cards, accessories/make-up): $150

**ETA: Apparently if you type "party" followed by ":" you get the dancing balloons

 

[crisi]

My daughter in in a wedding next weekend. Hair, dress, shoes, alterations - probably $500.

Travel - we'd do that anyway, but that's another $400 for the family - we are driving. Gift, etc. But those are all things we'd do anyway - so the additional cost for being a bridesmaid is $500.

Say no if it will be a burden. I think there is a 50/50 chance the bride will be relieved because now she can ask someone else who was about to be offended.

 

[Rafiki31]

I will NEVER agree to be a bridesmaid again. The bride always says not to owrry it will not be that much and then it spirals out of control. Last wedding I was in was 1600 and the one before that about 1200. The problem is not the bride it is whoever the other bridesmaids/maid of honor are. Both weddings were spearheaded by girls for whom money was not a thought. One of the weddings had a catered jack and jill shower with 150 guests! The 1600 would have been way worse, but I told them I could not contribute another 500 for that shower, I had already gone totally broke at that point.

The problem is, you never know what the total cost will be until after it is too late to back out. Trust me, I will NEVER do it again. I used to think it was an honor, now I feel like it is a punishment.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

I am literally sick to my stomach. How do I politely back out of this? I tried talking to the bride last night and she kept saying she didn't really know but "it shouldn't be too bad". But she is planning a very large wedding, there are 6 total bridesmaids. The wedding is going to be at a very fancy locale and her sister is the MOH, she is very wealthy. I am not. The other bridesmaids are like me though, none of us have a lot of extra cash at the moment.

I am just afraid to go forward and have it be too much! I do not have over a thousand dollars to spend on this plus flights. I am not sure what to do.

 

[okeydokey]

I think you need to be totally honest and tell her you only have a certain amount to spend and then offer to drop out if need be. Or talk to the sister directly and see what her ideas are. If you only have 500, you only have 500. I think it's better to state this up front and not after everything is planned.

 

[englishteacha]

Perhaps you can tell the bride that you are honored to be asked, but you are afraid that it will be too expensive for you to be part of the bridal party. Perhaps you could volunteer to do a reading at the ceremony instead? However, being in a wedding doesn't have to be expensive. Tell your friend that you'd like to be in the wedding but you have a budget. Tell her what you are able to spend. If things will be more than that, you either can't contribute or be part of those events OR someone else will have to pick up the cost for you.

I had two attendants, both close friends. My MOH was a new mom with 2 little children on a really, really tight budget. I bought her dress for her ($40). She wore her own black shoes. A college friend of mine did her hair for her (free). My sisters and MOH hosted my shower at my mother's church. The only cost was the food (my sisters and mom made sandwiches and salads and the cake) and the decorations (some balloons, streamers and weddingy decor). My other attendant was more well off and paid for her dress and had her hair done. She traveled a few hours by car for the rehearsal and wedding, but stayed at my parents' house. She threw me a small shower for our college friends at her apartment right before graduation-junk food and a few pals, so not really an expense...just planning because she surprised me!

My wedding was extremely budget friendly. No catering, no limos, everything found for a bargain or done ourselves. I know not all weddings are like that! When my college friend got married and asked me to be a bridesmaid a year after my wedding, when I was a broke, newlywed, first-year teacher, I accepted but told her that I couldn't afford anything very extravagant. Her parents purchased all the dresses for the attendants and paid for our hairstyles for the wedding day! We wore our own shoes and jewelry. I traveled up for her shower, which was at her parents' home, and I stayed over with them for both the shower and the wedding. I made her wedding shower cake as my contribution to the wedding shower. I have paid more to attend weddings just in travel, a new outfit, and hotel rooms, than I paid to be IN that one!