Too much drama for only 1 day...Updated we've made contact

[ols386]

From the email that he sent to you, it sounded to me like he would like to have some sort of relationship with you. He may have just as many conflicting feelings as you have right now.

I would just give it some time, and take things slowly.

 

[TaraPA]

Isn't there a saying...for every death there is a birth or something like that.....his mother (your grandmother) may be dying, and look - here you are, like a birth in the family. Circle of life! If it falls into place then it was meant to be. If you need more time to process, then that is fine too. It will all work out in the end.

 

[KAMKIM]

Speaking of things falling into place. In the emails his daughter and I were sending she mentioned that her uncle on her moms side lived in the same city that I did, and did I know where this street was...I said yes, I live on that street...she told me his first name, he lives across the street from me and has for 8 years. She has been to several parties at his house and passed our house every single time. I said I wonder how many times the girls and I were playing in the front yard unaware that my sister that I never met was right across the street.

I dont even know what to make of that....how crazy???

 

[Disney Doll]

He sounds like a nice man. It also sounds like he's going through a bit of a "time" right now with his mother very ill/possiblydying.

A few questions I'd ask him...does his mother know about you? If not, he may want to wait a bit (until she passes or improves) to start an involvement with you. Perhaps ask him gently if he would prefer not having to "deal with" you until he has dealt with his mother. At the moment, you have found out the answer to your health questions, so you could take things slowly from here.

 

[KAMKIM]

He sounds like a nice man. It also sounds like he's going through a bit of a "time" right now with his mother very ill/possiblydying.

A few questions I'd ask him...does his mother know about you? If not, he may want to wait a bit (until she passes or improves) to start an involvement with you. Perhaps ask him gently if he would prefer not having to "deal with" you until he has dealt with his mother. At the moment, you have found out the answer to your health questions, so you could take things slowly from here.

I will do that, I'm just not sure how I will word it. I do not believe anyone else in their family knows about me but I cant say that for sure.

To be honest I was content with finding out what I needed and leaving it at that. Part of me aches to know them better and I felt very cold just asking them what I needed and then disappearing, if that isn't what they want. Another part of me is afraid to let them in and then get rejected - I know I am an adult and should be able to do deal with that...but the idea of it hurts.

I think part of her wishes I never came into the picture, I would not have bothered them but the questions I had were serious enough for me to ask.

 

[wdwfan16]

These men are most likely your and your brother's biological dads but I would test to make sure before you get too emotionally attached to men who you many not be related to.

 

[diznygirl]

You could be projecting your own nervousness onto your bio father. Remember how excited you were for your brother - you were separated a little since it was his father you were dealing with, but you seemed to have no fear and move full steam ahead with that. Take a deep breath and keep on going!

 

[KAMKIM]

These men are most likely your and your brother's biological dads but I would test to make sure before you get too emotionally attached to men who you many not be related to.

My brothers family doesn't want one, the pictures speak for themselves really.

I dont know about mine though, he saw my picture and was as shocked and we were - his daughter and I really could be identical twins - I've never seen anything like it, well except for identical twins.

I dont think I could get emotionally attached though...

 

[KAMKIM]

You could be projecting your own nervousness onto your bio father. Remember how excited you were for your brother - you were separated a little since it was his father you were dealing with, but you seemed to have no fear and move full steam ahead with that. Take a deep breath and keep on going!

You are right, but it was so easy since they responded so well - they were funny and happy...and mine is just going through dealing with his mom so maybe he just emotionally cannot respond that way right now. I dont know...my fear is that they dont want me to move forward and I disrupted their lives now. I'm glad I got the answers but I wish I could have done that without contacting them....because now him and I have decisions to make and neither of us know what the other wants.

I mean lots of people are related and have nothing to do with one another...

 

[Longsx3]

I found my biological father about 14 years ago, I was about your age...I knew my Dad was not my birth father growing up but it wasn't until I was trying to conceive that I had any desire to find my find my "B" Dad. It went very well, although our new relationship did magnify issues he had with his then wife, they ended up divorced.
We did not talk much about the past but enough to know my Mother recalls a different version of events, however I have never focused on the past because history is as much about perception as fact. I know my DH and I can have a simple conversation and both remember it a little differently, I can't imagine in a divorce. So I have always taken our relationship at face value, he was always apologetic and very caring.
We are an Air Force Family and have lived around the world the past 14yrs but my Dad and I talked often and usually saw each other a few times a year, he has vacationed with us including WDW. I will say right now we are in some sort of funk, since DD and I returned from the Japan 2/08 we have only seem him once when we drove to him, 3 hr away, I am not sure why...I think it has to do with the new GF (from 06)that he lives with but I am not really sure. This is where things differ from my relationship with my "parents" that raised me....when they are mad at me or vice versa it easily hashed out, with "B" Dad there is just silence?? I am sure it will work out.

Regardless of our current status I will never regret finding my "B" Dad, it has really helped question I never knew I even had as a kid.

 

[wovenwonder]

Is your brother going to be on Rachael Ray tomorrow?

The Rachael Ray Show has an incredible reunion on Tuesday! A brother and sister will meet face-to-face for the first time in 30 years… after they found each other on Facebook.

 

[disneymarie]

Speaking of things falling into place. In the emails his daughter and I were sending she mentioned that her uncle on her moms side lived in the same city that I did, and did I know where this street was...I said yes, I live on that street...she told me his first name, he lives across the street from me and has for 8 years. She has been to several parties at his house and passed our house every single time. I said I wonder how many times the girls and I were playing in the front yard unaware that my sister that I never met was right across the street.

I dont even know what to make of that....how crazy???

Do you think that your Mom must know the Uncle across the street and that is what triggered the information she gave you in the past?

One thing for sure when your mom tells you, if she does, it is a made for TV Movie! I saw on the Today show 4 siblings that were reared by different families found each other after 30 years. I think it was last week.

I have some similar issues, and there is always more to the story, some that will never be known. For many reasons they remain unspoken as a protection.
Issues of abuse, abadonment....criminal acts of perpertrator. All hidden....

 

[KAMKIM]

Do you think that your Mom must know the Uncle across the street and that is what triggered the information she gave you in the past?

One thing for sure when your mom tells you, if she does, it is a made for TV Movie! I saw on the Today show 4 siblings that were reared by different families found each other after 30 years. I think it was last week.

I have some similar issues, and there is always more to the story, some that will never be known. For many reasons they remain unspoken as a protection.
Issues of abuse, abadonment....criminal acts of perpertrator. All hidden....

LOL no, the uncle across the street is my half sister's uncle on HER moms side - my mom didn't know this half sister existed either until I contacted her Thursday. We are not related to the uncle....but all these years my half sister has been visiting him not knowing I was across the street or that I existed...

 

[KAMKIM]

Do you think that your Mom must know the Uncle across the street and that is what triggered the information she gave you in the past?

One thing for sure when your mom tells you, if she does, it is a made for TV Movie! I saw on the Today show 4 siblings that were reared by different families found each other after 30 years. I think it was last week.

I have some similar issues, and there is always more to the story, some that will never be known. For many reasons they remain unspoken as a protection.
Issues of abuse, abadonment....criminal acts of perpertrator. All hidden....

also the information my mom gave me in the past was way before she met her boyfriend that has now, who lived here before we did - if that makes any sense LOL

 

[KAMKIM]

Is your brother going to be on Rachael Ray tomorrow?

LOL I thought Rachael Ray cooked food??? What channel is it on I will have to DVR it...I do know it is a made for TV movie - I just wish it wasn't my life right now...

 

[Keli]

I'm not getting the vibe that your bio dad doesn't want to connect with you, quite the opposite, he seems genuinely interested in meeting you. Sounds like a guy that's shocked about this info but wanting to move forward, just slowly. You might find in the end that he is every bit as interested in you as your brother's bio dad is in him. Different personalities handle and process events in life differently but it would be a big mistake to draw conclusions this early.

 

[KAMKIM]

I'm not getting the vibe that your bio dad doesn't want to connect with you, quite the opposite, he seems genuinely interested in meeting you. Sounds like a guy that's shocked about this info but wanting to move forward, just slowly. You might find in the end that he is every bit as interested in you as your brother's bio dad is in him. Different personalities handle and process events in life differently but it would be a big mistake to draw conclusions this early.

That is true...thank you.

 

[pixiewings71]

This is a big deal and a lot to absorb, for you and your Bio-Dad and half sister, take it slow and do this at your own pace. You might be surprised at how well you click and how quickly you develop an emotional attachment to this "new" part of your family.

 

[ols386]

This is a big deal and a lot to absorb, for you and your Bio-Dad and half sister, take it slow and do this at your own pace. You might be surprised at how well you click and how quickly you develop an emotional attachment to this "new" part of your family.

You can never know for sure if there will be a click or not. Hopefully if everyone in this situations wants to click, I sure hope it happens. But there is always that possibility that they won't experience that 'click'. I think time will tell.

To the op....I do hope everything turns out the way you want it to.

 

[MELSMICE]

I haven't read through even single post (only the first page) but just wanted to say not to forget that you mom made what she thought was the right decision at the time.

I'm sure she also did the best she could to raise you & your brother. We all do things in our lives that we look back on & wish we could change. Don't beat your mother up over this right now. She's probably already done that enough herself.

Good luck with everything. I hope it turns out the way you hope.