Toddler Harness-To leash or not to leash

[twinboysmom]

My son was a VERY active toddler. He was 2 for his 1st trip to disney. I personally cringe when I see a kid on a leash, I feel bad for him/her. I know I would hate being on a leash. Being a parent is hard but teach him/her to stay near not to be treated like a dog. Eventually that leash is going to come off, and you'll have to teach him/her anyway.

And how would you suggest I go about having my two year old comprehend that he can't run away? Obviously, you are a PERFECT parent so please tell me. I have tried reasoning with him, tell him repeatedly everyday that he can't run away from me. We practice walking together in the house, our front yard, our back yard, and still he runs. He is particularly good at trying to get out of my hand in busy parking lots. Since your parenting skills are superior to mine, I will be waiting for instructions because I sure would love to know how to get both of my two year olds to listen. And btw, neither of my boys are bothered at all by the monkey leashes. They willingly wear them but since they must obviously truly hate it.....

 

[bookmama]

I tried a toddler harness out several years ago when my oldest was around 18months. It worked great for places like the Zoo or an amusement park but that's the only time I used it. Every time I got the worst looks and some people even had a negative comment or two for me. I finally tossed it and never looked back.
We will have a 2 year old at Disney this year. We will have a stroller but there is no way he is going to passively sit for a week. Carrying and hand holding only goes so far. I think the harness idea would be great but I don't want our trip ruined by people who can't mind their own business. Any experiences?

Oh we leash: and we're going to leash them again when we go.

 

[OurMinnieFamily]

My daughter was an early walker, thus causing many breakdowns when I tried to place her in the stroller. She has not been in a stroller since about 10 months. When she was younger I always made sure to shop at stores with shopping carts. However when we went places that didnt have something for me to put her in I always had a harnass. We had one with a cute backpack on it and a shorter leash. She never got more than 1 foot or so away from me.

I never paid attention to dirty looks. I can say I have NEVER lost most daughter. Not because of my amazing parenting skills, but simply because she was always "attached" to me with the harnass. I'd rather be given dirty looks than have to search like a crazy person for my child in a crowd as large as WDW.

 

[popcenturylover]

We use these when I am out an about with my 2, 2 1/2 year olds.

http://greaterthanonekids.com/hold-on-handles

Gives them a sense of independence and I keep them close.

These aren't too bad but, I'm sorry I can't support the leash! My children are not dogs and I don't want to treat them as such!

 

[miami305]

I tried a toddler harness out several years ago when my oldest was around 18months. It worked great for places like the Zoo or an amusement park but that's the only time I used it. Every time I got the worst looks and some people even had a negative comment or two for me. I finally tossed it and never looked back.
We will have a 2 year old at Disney this year. We will have a stroller but there is no way he is going to passively sit for a week. Carrying and hand holding only goes so far. I think the harness idea would be great but I don't want our trip ruined by people who can't mind their own business. Any experiences?

Do you allow your child to get out of the carseat? Getting out of the stroller is mommy's decision, not the child's. I agree with the previous poster that said the leash simply delays the child learning the basic rules of behavior. You'll get dirty looks simply because people equate leashes with dogs. Stare them down or ignore them and keep on stepping. If you are doing what your believe in your heart is the best decision for your child, then what other people think shouldn't bother you. I'm guessing you're not entirely comfortable leashing your child and are looking for reassurance. Again, listen to your heart and do what is best for your child.

 

[srferson]

I find it interesting that people are associating long term behavioral implications with a safety measure used for a few days in a special circumstance.

I'd be sad to see you drag your kid around with it. And I'd be sad to see you use it so that you don't need to be attentive to your child. Other than that, frankly, I think people are blowing it out of proportion.

 

[Pesky]

ditto pps. You know your child best. I could trust DD to stick by me generally but DS is a whole different animal. I had the monkey backpack leash and didn't hesitate to use it. People will judge you for a lot of things -- the leash, what you are wearing, if your child has a smudge of chocolate on his face, how loud your laugh is, etc. Screw 'em. Do what is works for you and your family. My DD and DS seem to have suffered no ill effects from the occasional usage of a toddler leash at the zoo or airport. And my kids are still safely with us.

 

[Reddy]

there is a reason why leashes were invented. that is keep what is leashed safe & in your control. I think that kids kept in a stroller all day will need to use up the energy that they have stored up while the parents are tired, that doesn't make a good combination.

I leashed my son to me - I didn't care what others thoughts (son was 13 & 14 at the time, he is also non-verbal, austic & would go jump in the water - I could see him getting into splash mt, not in the boat just the water, you see the danger??)

do what you think is the safest thing for your child - don't worry about the looks most people see leashes everyday at disney - just not on early teenagers & no one said anything to me about that - they comment on us having the boys name, what is wrong with them, then my cell phone number on the back of their t-shirts - label size

 

[srferson]

Pesky is right.

People will judge you for a lot of things. In fact, no matter how you play this, someone could be judging you.

Strap him in the stroller. He struggles. Judgemental person thinks 'Geez. Give the kid a little bit of freedom.'

Hold on to his hand all day. He struggles or becomes unhappy because his little arm is tired. Judgemental person thinks 'Geez. That looks so uncomfortable. I'd be trying to get away too.'

Have him walk along side you. He stops suddenly in front of people. Judgemental person thinks 'Geez. Can't she get that kid to move? People are going to trip over him.'

Have him walk along side you. He bolts or wanders. Judgemental person thinks 'Geez. Can't she keep her child under control?'

Carry him around. You get exhausted and he gets restless. Judgemental person thinks 'Geez. He's a little old for her to be carrying him around like a baby.'

I'm guessing you understand my point here.

Do what's right for you, because unless you know your 2-year old is going to act like a perfect angel the whole time he's in WDW (yeah, right ) someone could be judging.

 

[Mama Who]

We use these when I am out an about with my 2, 2 1/2 year olds.

http://greaterthanonekids.com/hold-on-handles

Gives them a sense of independence and I keep them close.

I love those! I will not walk my child on a leash, but those look like a wonderful way to keep track of the little ones. Thanks for sharing!

 

[Hannathy]

These aren't too bad but, I'm sorry I can't support the leash! My children are not dogs and I don't want to treat them as such!

I hate leashes with a passion and would never use one, and hate seeing them on kids. And especially when I see them on kids 3 and up! (that aren't special needs)

There is a middle ground between being in the stroller and holding hands. I only held my toddlers hands for serious things like parking lots or crossing streets. At Disney or stores they walked with me or held onto the stroller or cart.
Children can be taught to stay with you, you have to be consistent and tough. They have to know you mean it every single time, no exceptions.

There can be a few special cases with special needs children but even then not all children.

 

[Plaid Sheep]

I leash. Until DS does not bolt like a squirrel, I will leash. I will also tear you a new one if you go all Sanctimommy on me. DS has a mind of his own, and I have had several close calls no matter how tight I hold onto him or how much I tell him not to run from me. So for all of you with perfect little ones......fabulous for you, but keep your noses out of my business or I will bite it off.

Sorry, soapbox rant, but I hate it when your life flashes in front of you again and again. DS adds grey hairs on a daily basis.

 

[twinboysmom]

I hate leashes with a passion and would never use one, and hate seeing them on kids. And especially when I see them on kids 3 and up! (that aren't special needs)

There is a middle ground between being in the stroller and holding hands. I only held my toddlers hands for serious things like parking lots or crossing streets. At Disney or stores they walked with me or held onto the stroller or cart.
Children can be taught to stay with you, you have to be consistent and tough. They have to know you mean it every single time, no exceptions.

There can be a few special cases with special needs children but even then not all children.

Ah yes, another perfect parent. I asked another poster to please offer their advice on how I can get my two two year olds to understand not to run away. Please offer your advice. I am certainly consistent but my runner in particular just doesn't seem to comprehend that he cannot run away and try to get out of mommy's hand. Your parenting advice please because I would sure like to stop these behaviors and there must be something wrong with what I am doing. Once again, I am patiently waiting.

 

[luvmy2babies]

My son is a runner. He really thinks it is funny. He is not trying to be mean or cause trouble. He is 2, but has manners, says "Yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you, you're welcome, and his version of a tantrum is to lower his head, let out a deep breath and poke out his lip.

But he thinks it is hilarious when I or dd have to chase him.

He'll be wearing an ID band, but we leash because he doesn't yet know the difference in running from me in the safety of our yard, and running from me in a place like Disney World. I use it when I have to. He darts through crowds like a running back going through as the offensive line blocks on a football play.

As to the leash, I have gotten my fair share of comments, mostly from men who lamented my son being attached to me like that. My son actually likes it. He'd rather have that and not have to hold my hand. He loves that puppy dearly. Others have mentioned the monkey, we have the puppy.

People can think what they want. They'll be the same ones shaking their heads if I lose him. He may mature to the point of using the one someone linked but if I had that now, he'd drop it and be off to the races.

 

[mjkacmom]

Ah yes, another perfect parent. I asked another poster to please offer their advice on how I can get my two two year olds to understand not to run away. Please offer your advice. I am certainly consistent but my runner in particular just doesn't seem to comprehend that he cannot run away and try to get out of mommy's hand. Your parenting advice please because I would sure like to stop these behaviors and there must be something wrong with what I am doing. Once again, I am patiently waiting.

You can't, not with twins. Sure, take them for a walk in the neighborhood, and when one darts into the street and gets hit by a car, you better believe he will have learned his lesson. Or when the other runs up to a house, just grab the remaining one, and bolt after him - it's wonderful exercise. What is really fun is when they run in opposite directions - now is the time you have to pick your favorite!

We lost our runner many times - pretty much whenever he wasn't confined to a stroller or leashed. Always got him back, though. However, in dark and crowded situations, we found it easier to put on a harness than search for hours later on. I also had a child who was a mommy magnet, and never left my side. The other 3 were somewhere in the middle, but at least they weren't runners.

He did learn by preschool. It would've been nice if we could've explained to him, around the age of 1 1/2 or so, that we would like for him to walk along side of, and not take off. However, for some reason, those conversations went right over his head. He also LOVED his harness (his twin did, too).

Personally, I think strollers are way more confining for young children, like little wheelchairs. I liked to let mine out enough that, they were not always content to just be pushed around, sucking down golfish and cherrios like some other toddlers.

 

[mjkacmom]

My son was a VERY active toddler. He was 2 for his 1st trip to disney. I personally cringe when I see a kid on a leash, I feel bad for him/her. I know I would hate being on a leash. Being a parent is hard but teach him/her to stay near not to be treated like a dog. Eventually that leash is going to come off, and you'll have to teach him/her anyway.

Or maybe, you just contain that active toddler in a stroller, to the point where, at the age of 7 or so, he's being pushed around WDW like an itty bitty baby, because he was never taught to walk like a big boy...

Talk about being cringe-worthy. Heck, at least the 2 year old doesn't know he's being stared at a judged.

 

[kmb584]

I leash!

DD's first trip was at 15 months, the age where she really wanted to walk everyone and explore; all I envisioned was losing her in a sea of people. So, I caved and bought one and have subsequently used it on every trip since. It provides me with a lot of peace of mind knowing that she can't go more than a couple feet from me.

There were a couple of times on our trip 2 weeks ago that she went unharnessed and did a fantastic job with holding hands and sticking close! We're outgrowing the "leash" stage but I know I'll bring it with us in October as a "just in case".

 

[VP037388]

Oh we leash: and we're going to leash them again when we go.

LOL, love the response bookmama!

 

[worm761]

I said I was never going to use a leash for my child. And then I had one! DS is autistic and ADHD. You cannot look at him and know there is something wrong. On our first trip I had a harness that went around my waist and his. It kept us together when he would bolt. Or just stop. He is 16 now so I don't worry so much. We wear matching shirts and I make him carry a cell phone with him. Now he just wanders in other directions or stops to look at something but doesn't bother to let anyone else know.

DD is only 2. Her first trip she was on 20 months. Once she figured out she could walk, she was done with her stroller. She walked most of Disney at 20 months and we were there for a week. I bought a harness for her. I don't like the cute stuffed animal ones. They are really quite adorable but that girl will make you break sweat just sitting on your lap. It would have been entirely too hot for her to wear. She does pretty good holding hands but she is pretty strong and can break away from me. She also constantly insists upon holding her brothers hand. I felt a LOT better about him holding her hand if she was in the harness. Now, the only comment that I had was at DHS. The rest of my party was watching one of the street shows and DD wanted nothing to do with it. So I was walking up and down the street with her, the one with TOT. Anyway, you could see this family fighting with their kid and the grandmother stopped and asked where I had bought my harness! I was nice enough to tell her that I thought I saw one in a gift shop.

 

[cindydare]

We used a backpack leash on our first trip....DS4 was 2 at the time and was speech delayed. I also had a silicone bracelet around his ankle with our cell phone numbers on it, just in case.....he's my sneaky kid. (He let himself out of the house one day when I was loading the dishwasher and after 5 frantic minutes I found him in the neighbor's sandbox two houses away....speech delayed, but a mechanical genius )

It ended up being the catalyst to one of our Disney magical moments. We had finished dinner at the Garden Grill and were getting ready to leave our table when Pluto came by again. Pluto saw the leash and proceeded to "walk" our son around both levels of the restaurant. We got a lot of laughs from the other guests about the dog walking the child! Pluto is still DS's favorite character!!

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and makes the most sense for the safety of YOUR child.....when I was childless, I swore that I would never use a harness on a child, and my DD8 never needed one...she listened and did what I asked....once I had DS, all of that went out the window.