To Invite Or Not Invite The Inlaws...that Is The Question??

[cruisinpan55]

GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!

 

[rainy~daze]

we took my MIL and my 2 SIL with our family in Jan, it was good with them, but my stepDD was a nightmare. me this me that, first night she was crying all night telling us we ruined her life b/c she wanted to go off alone with my SIL (dd is 15, SIL is 18) and both unreliable and immature. she does not live with us, so we said no, we're responsible you're with us, OMG you would have thought the world was ending, and I don't take very kindly to kids cursing at me, so we were not seeing eye to eye. the biggest problem we had was I did a years worth of planning for this and got there and everyone wanted to scatter, had no idea what anything was but thought they knew it all. I wanted to cry the first night after my stepDD acted up. my dd2 and ds4 were better behaved. we are going again in dec with my mom and my MIL and just our 2 little ones. needless to say stepDD will probably never join us on another family vacation.

 

[GoofyGolferGirl]

I wish my MIL and FIL would go with us ! We would even pay for it!! We ask every vacation we take, they don't want to be away from the house!!

 

[sameyeyam]

Last year we took my Mother to Disney with us. She was in perfect health and then passed away unexpectedly and suddenly from a brain aneurysm one month after we got back from the trip.

Our trip didn't go perfect, we had a few meltdowns, I wanted to see everything and my mother wanted to have a relaxing trip. But somehow it worked out ok.

We are so glad we took her, my children have wonderful last memories of their Granny at Disney. They will have those memories forever and we have some wonderful photos of her that we wouldn't have otherwise.

Your parents and in-laws will not be around forever. Yes it might be an inconvenience, they might slow you down, it might not be everything you planned. But you also might be giving your children (and yourself) one of the most precious gifts of their lives - memories of great fun at Disneyworld with grandparents

My in-law's doesn't know it yet, but we plan to invite them to go with us next year. And I will relish and enjoy every minute of it, even if it's not exactly what I planned!

 

[LVSWL]

Last year we took my Mother to Disney with us. She was in perfect health and then passed away unexpectedly and suddenly from a brain aneurysm one month after we got back from the trip.

Our trip didn't go perfect, we had a few meltdowns, I wanted to see everything and my mother wanted to have a relaxing trip. But somehow it worked out ok.

We are so glad we took her, my children have wonderful last memories of their Granny at Disney. They will have those memories forever and we have some wonderful photos of her that we wouldn't have otherwise.

Your parents and in-laws will not be around forever. Yes it might be an inconvenience, they might slow you down, it might not be everything you planned. But you also might be giving your children (and yourself) one of the most precious gifts of their lives - memories of great fun at Disneyworld with grandparents

My in-law's doesn't know it yet, but we plan to invite them to go with us next year. And I will relish and enjoy every minute of it, even if it's not exactly what I planned!

Alison, just wanted to say, Thank you for pointing out something that is truly important that we all might forget. Time passes so quickly and those moments that you and your family had with your mom are worth any small inconveniences or changes in plans. I got chill bumps reading your post.

 

[mjmcca]

I leave on Wednesday for an unexpected trip with my DD4 and my FIL. FIL doesn't speak English and i don't speak his language... Should be an interesting trip.

 

[prestonsmomma]

We are planning a Christmas trip with my parents and my ILs (who get on my parents nerves ) It's not perfect by any means but it will still be fun. My ILs are taking a day to go to Universal instead of Disney so that will be a nice pleasant day anyway. It wasn't fair to invite one set of grandparents without asking the others to come as well.

 

[Zoemakes5]

We have been to Disney (both WDW and DL) with both sets of my parents, but never with the inlaws.
First off, I think that whatever "problems" you may encounter with having the inlaws with will be reduced significantly with the fact that they will only be there for a portion of your trip. It's not like you have to have all of your time with them. So I'd say go for it!
For us, it was very special time when we've gone with the grandparents. The kids loved the attention, they fought over who was going to go on which ride with which grandparent. We've only gone with them for 2 days at a time, in which case, I planned everything and everyone went along for the ride. That worked great for me, as I'm the control freak in the family! Plus, I'm by far the biggest Disney fanatic! The grandparents got to see the magic through the kids eyes, too. We were a bit slower paced than we would typically be, but still were able to see most of what we wanted to. We taylored our meals a bit differently, eating mostly TS, as my dad and step-mom don't really like "fast food", but that certainly wasn't an issue. They loved going to a character meal and being able to take so many pic's of the kids with the characters!
A couple of suggestions.
The MIL/FIL wouldn't bug me, but the BIL/gf would. Not because of the number of people per se, but the number of people who will probably have an opinion. Plus, if you add the additional two adults, you are now probably having to rent a larger unit to accomodate everyone, and are out more money. And, if they are "coming along", would they be willing to limit themselves to just the dates MIL/FIL are coming or would they expect to have more time there? For me, I'm not sure I'd want them, too. But, IF they are willing to limit it to just the 2-3 days, once again it's only a portion of the trip, so how bad would it really be?
If you decide to do it, I'd either sit down as a family, or via group emails determine that (a) you will plan everything with family input, as you will need to make reservations, (b) what each person really wants to do while down there, (c) who will be paying for what, (d) how transportation will work (since you will be arriving at different times). Even though it's family, it's soooo important to get things in writing so there's no misunderstandings!
Have fun!

 

[lorrainesy]

we took my MIL and my 2 SIL with our family in Jan, it was good with them, but my stepDD was a nightmare. me this me that, first night she was crying all night telling us we ruined her life b/c she wanted to go off alone with my SIL (dd is 15, SIL is 18) and both unreliable and immature. she does not live with us, so we said no, we're responsible you're with us, OMG you would have thought the world was ending, and I don't take very kindly to kids cursing at me, so we were not seeing eye to eye. the biggest problem we had was I did a years worth of planning for this and got there and everyone wanted to scatter, had no idea what anything was but thought they knew it all. I wanted to cry the first night after my stepDD acted up. my dd2 and ds4 were better behaved. we are going again in dec with my mom and my MIL and just our 2 little ones. needless to say stepDD will probably never join us on another family vacation.

That is a real shame for stepDD

 

[Nancyg56]

I am the MIL in the family. We took a family trip last year with my DD and her DH and little DD. My DS and his wife joined us, along with their aunt from my previous marriage. My niece and nephew from this marriage spent a great deal of time with us, although they did not stay with us, they live in Orlando.


We had a great time. We are going again in January, and my DS and DDIL are spending the entire time with us this trip. I am the planner, but will get input from everybody. No hurt feelings when the two lovebirds (DS and DDIL) want to wander off together. DD and her DH want some time without the little one? Fine. We will watch her. Some want to go on the thrill rides, DD and DGD are planning on some shopping during that time frame. It can work out well if you have realistic expectations from your group, and respect that everybody's vacation plans are not the same. Just plan for the differences, and make sure that every minute is not together.

I hope that you all have fun!

 

[missymagic]

I did DW with MIL and FILeven when our marriage was on the outs. I was going, thought I would ask if they'd like to join for a long weekend. Of course they said yes. I told them when I planned on going, found the flights. Worked for all involved. You just need to work together to figure out what you'd like to do, Plan meals accordingly etc. The grandparents will not be around forever and I was willing to give up some of my time for them. Everyone got along great and we have so many wonderful memories.

I say if you get along when you are home and have been away together before. Why not...You just never know and you can't ever look back and say I should have ......

Good luck!!

 

[suezpqt]

I am voting for the invite!! September '03 DH, DD & I went down and brought BIL and a family friend. I was the only one out of the group that had ever been to Disney before (I was 15) and my only prior trip. We all had a great time! There are plenty of opportunities for people to do things together or to split up and meet back together later. I say if you could handle them in your house for a week - where you would not have the excitement of Disney to occupy you - than go for it!!!! Hope that you have a magical time, no matter what you decide.

 

[Eeyore Mum]

I'd say NO NO NO NO. Been there done that last year and it was the most stressful 2 weeks of my life. I have previously been away with my SIL and her family, no probs, but adding MIL and FIL to the equation was just nightmarish.
Think about what you want out of your hol. My FIL wasnt big into disney either and that was another cause of probs. This added to constantly having to please a large group made for an uncomfortable hol. LOL

 

[jnshakun]

My husband and I have had the same question arise about inviting his parents, who would be thrilled to say the least. I just worry about tension because we're going to plan our trip around what's best for our two little kids and I don't know if they'll be offended by having to agree to our "itinerary". Question--do most resorts have adjoining rooms?

 

[bdink921]

Just my 0.02 for whatever it's worth. We went last year with my husband's brother and his family. It started when we arrived the day before they did--BIL was so mad about that!! We went over spring break, had connecting rooms at Pop and all. I had been on these boards for a while and even with research and planning it was all so overwhelming--WDW is huge!!! Anyway, I made out a rough plan taking into account EMH days and all--nothing commando, just which parks to go to on which days. I also make a couple of ADR's--BIL had a flip out over that because he wanted to "go with the flow" blah, blah, blah. Well, the "flow" was very busy parks and no walk in TS meals. Except for the couple of ADR's I made--we couldn't get anything. If his family left a park, he got all put out if we didn't leave too--it was all so annoying. My SIL and I get along just great--both husbands left at like noon on AK day, and I must say that time we spent there with the kids was the most relaxing time of the trip. It was great that my DS had his cousin there but we wouldn't do it again. For our Wonder cruise in November, we're going just the three of us!!!!!

 

[seashoreCM]

Large groups are always a problem. Unless you need help guarding a spot at the curb for a parade or guarding a table at a restaurant while waiting in the serving line, you are better off traveling alone.

If another party want to go "with" you why not have them just book their trip for the same time period and meet up every now and then?

Disney hints:
http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm