Tina's Road to Princess 2009/2010

[tinagirl]

So back in 2006, I completed my first Disney World half. It was challenging, exhilarating and exciting. In the process I dropped from a size 26 to a size 16. Felt great. Got off depression medication because it was deemed no longer necessary by my doctor, and felt comfortable in my body for the first time ever.

Now, shooting ahead 3 years, my 5 year relationship ended, with a man who thought he wanted to marry me, until it came closer to being a reality, and he realized that wasn't what he wanted. I'm 29 and that dreadful 30 is just around the corner. My mom has been in the hospital since March, and it doesn't look so good. I'm an only child with no father, so her care is squarely on me and I feel like I've used that as an excuse to give up. Especially with her medical care amounting to $10,400 per month! I've got a lot of stress in my life, and worst of all, I haven't felt inspired to actually put any care at all into myself for a very very long time. Now, I'm starting to date again, and wonder how I can expect a bloke to like me, if I don't like myself...

I'm tired of putting myself last, and I want to be free to be strong, fearless and capable. I'm tired of my friends going skydiving or rip-lining, but I can't join because of a weight limit. I'm sick of them learning how to surf, because I'm terrified of being anywhere in a bathing suit. I dream of being an active person, but don't know how to start. So I'm starting the way I know how. I'm going to take a first step.

It's not about beauty, or being an "ideal". I want to be healthy and fearless. I don't want to limit myself in my life, because that doesn't really seem like living.

So - I'm starting my WISH journal to find myself again. Today I'm headed off to the gym for a 2 miler. It feels silly somehow, because my brain remembers when a 2 miler was simpler for me... how I used to do a 7 miler, no problem. But I have to remember not to get discouraged and to give myself a rational, and doable mark for each day. If I go out and try to do a 7 miler today, my hamstrings may very well explode.

I want to do the Disney World Princess Half in March, both to remind myself that I am worth more than I've trained myself into believing in recent months, and to remind my body that I can be unstoppable.

Encouragement is welcome. Updates will be daily. Hope will be infinite>

 

[momof2minnies]

Tina YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am on here almost everyday journaling too.I will be here to cheer you on- you did it before you can do it again- WOOHOO!

Linda

 

[tinagirl]

12/20: Status
2 miles on treadmill - 3mph.

Notes: It was sooooooo hard to get my foot through the door of the gym. Literally as I was driving there, my muscles started tensing up and it was like my body was willing me to go back to my couch and watch Tru Blood.

As soon as I got through the door, however, it got a lot easier. Hopped on the treadmill without much additional nonsense.

12/21: Plans
1 mile on treadmill - 3.1 mph
25 minutes on elliptical
Crunches

 

[momof2minnies]

I hear you.Sometimes the toughest part is just getting there.Once you are there you feel great and of course you have the feeling that you need to do your best because even though people really aren't judging each other it is OK sometimes to think they are - gets you pushing yourself a little more.Works for me anyway.

Keep up the great work.I saw your PM, thanks and I do journal most days- not days when I am working, I leave at 6:20 am and not much time for anything.

Linda

 

[tinagirl]

I missed journaling the past few days, but by and large, I was good! Today I was supposed to go to the gym and luckily that part of my brain that gets used to it is cajoling me into going, so I'm off to do that.

I was pretty bummed on Christmas day. My ex and I broke up at the beginning of November, and Christmas was hard, but even though the gym was closed, I got a friend to go on a 2.5 mile walk with me out in the fresh air, which was awesome!

I just have to keep it up. I've gone from a Lane Bryant size 4 to a size 3 since November, and I want to get down to a size 2 by the end of January. I'm up to 3 miles again, which still seems low compared to what I've done in the past, but I'm supposed to do my first 4 miler on Saturday, which will get me feeling positive, I think!

 

[momof2minnies]

Sorry to hear about the break up but good for you getting out there and doing something positive with a friend.

You will be able to do this.Take one day at a time.

Good luck on that 4 miler Sat. and Happy New Year.

Linda

 

[inkkognito]

Ugh. Breakups around the holidays are miserable.

Sounds like you have a great plan and a very ambitious goal! And the journaling will keep you on track and help you sort out the bigger things too. It's a bummer when something you were counting on is suddenly shattered, but hopefully this will be the transition to something better.

 

[tinagirl]

Yesterday:
Gym was PACKED with resolutioners. They wouldn't let me on a machine for more than 25 minutes at a time.

I did 25 minutes on the treadmill at 3mph - 1.25 miles.
I did 25 minutes on the elliptical at 3mph - 1.25 miles.

Total for yesterday was 2.5, even though it was technically a "Rest" day. I just had too much energy.

The rest of this week's schedule:
Tonight (Tuesday) - 3miles
Wednesday - Elliptical for 50 minutes
Thursday - 3 miles
Friday - Rest
Saturday - 5 miles
Sunday - Rest

 

[tinagirl]

Did my 3 miles yesterday in an hour. Still only at 3.0. Building mileage, but need to focus on CT today to get some variety in my sprints.