This may be my last post....


<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
Jul 15, 2001
I just stopped at a 7-Eleven, and I was so hungry I tried one of those new Tony Romas bacon burger that I had to heat up in the nuclear powered microwave they keep in the corner. I could tell the bacon was not cooked, BUT! I ate it anyway cause I was stupid.

Even now as I write this I can feel it trying to dig its way out of my stomach. I have turned blue I'm hallucinating and seeing spots and fantasy pins. At one point I saw Dana walk into my office and yell “did you hear the magic cruise ships are made of glass”

I want to DIE!:o OMG this is the worst feeling I could ever imagine… I'm sitting at my desk and the noises coming from my stomach sound like a marimba band on acid. :( I’m slipping fast I see lights and people are telling me to go towards the light, but I also hear a train?

oooooooohhhhhh the agony....

Please mom I'll be good you'll see take this dream away.....

With my last dying breath I want to say....

Do not eat the new burger and gourmet food stuff at 7-Eleven they are not meant for human consumption.... Oh yea and Michelle looks cute in her Sponge Bob Square Pants PJ's

Sad part is Donna will read this and just say "good it serves you right” and with that I'll say the Sponge Bob Square Pants PJ look is wasted on Donna, only Michelle can make it work sorry honey.

I'm off to die now ta ta:wave

This is for Carl he'll know what to do...

I Ed being of sound mind (Shut up people) and an overweight body do here by bequeath all my worldly goods which consist of some loose change, and a really cool and illegal in most states modified hacker 9000 laptop… to the cute girl in the BMW that waved at me today even though I had a nasty burger hanging off my upper lip.

To my granddaughter in college I leave this advise “sleeping with your trig book under your pillow will not transfer the information into your head the night before an exam”

To my other granddaughter spending the summer with us I say “Heather will you please shut up for 5 minutes you have been talking non stop for 3 months now”

To my lovely wife of some 70 years I leave this advise get the medical examiner to do a blood test find out what that stuff I ate really was, then sue the 7-Eleven Southland corporation, a division of the namaquchi conglomerate, a division of globalnet, which is the parent company of Comcast which is now broke because Disney rejected the offer, so see even this is Eisner’s fault. I hope your happy Mr. Eye-N-Ears even my stomach ache is your fault.

And Last I leave my ability to be funny to a mister Xavier Nussbaum 289 West 39th st apartment 3J Central Park New York NY 100315 use the power for good dude.


<font color=navy>I Owe, I Owe, so Off to Work I go
Apr 30, 2002
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

That's almost as bad as eating "YELLOW SNOW!"


chef's wife

Trying to keep chefmanny under control!
Oct 24, 2001
I hope you fixed all the stuff in my house before you're under the float!!!!!!
Manny..........Michelle is not this cruel!!!!!............welll......yeah she is!!!!!!


<font color=navy>Raul's "much" better half<br><fon
Jul 22, 2001
I sure hope so....I have a ton of things for you to do when you get here....

I have cooked you up a great batch of rice to make you feel better. and I swear not a lump to be seen;)


<font color=blue>And now for something completely
Feb 16, 2000
Nothing like fine dining:crazy:

Rule of thumb never eat anywhere you can also buy motor oil!

chef's wife

Trying to keep chefmanny under control!
Oct 24, 2001
Rice, rice, rice, you call that food for a Cubantechnoweenie??????
How about alittle black beans to go with that, and roast pork shoulder????? with fried plantains!!!!!
Just put him over tha edge with a glass of Aguardiente!!!!!!!!!!
He'll need that internet connection in the bathroom after this meal!!!!...'cause that's where all the posting is 'gonna be coming from!
Did you check my toilets to make sure they're not backing up with that 5 gallon bucket of stuff I put in the septic tank this Sun.????
If it's a mess have Ed clean it up before next weekend!!!!!

chef's wife

Trying to keep chefmanny under control!
Oct 24, 2001
You didn't read the wrapper did you? You can't sue them!
They have one of those "assumption of the risk" clauses in there, you're :scared: dude!!!!!!!
Oh yeah, definitely do not go to 7-11 for hemorrhoid medicine!!!!


<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
Jul 15, 2001
Pete in will Pete in will Rigggggght

To answer your questions the pins are to be buried with me, I asked Donna for a Viking funeral. The instructions are take all my credit cards, and buy one of those $100,000.00 Bass trollers boats we have here in Florida, set in the St’ Johns river put me and my pins on it, have all my friend (all three of them) dress up like extras in the Lord of the Rings part IV, set the boat out on its own little electric motor trolley thingy, and when its in the middle of the river… Set that puppy on fire and sing Viking war song to Odem the great Viking god.

What she will do is, keep my credit cards, borrow a canoe, set me in the fountain in downtown Orlando, set in on fire and hire a local street group to sing Baby Got Back.

Yes she would, because she’s that way. She that must be obeyed lied about the rice, there was no rice made, she just wanted me to rush home so she could give me a thirty minute lecture on the dangers of fast food complete with a slide show called your Colon and you. Don’t believe me I have the pamphlets to prove it.

To answer that next to last question… it was the I can’t stand it anymore, I’m going nuts for chocolate, I must eat a burger diet pains diet plan, much like Atkins but without all the fan fare... Let it be known I also had a slurpee cherry cola no less, and a baby Ruth bar (the jumbo size that could kill an elephant)

And I’m glad do you hear glad I did it Hahahahahahahahahah!!!

I'm sorry I weakened I'm a man after all.

But hey good news I survived the day I came home and just sat in my comfy chair and vegetated into a dull stupor for 4 hours, but let it be known I followed the man rules and channel surfed without stopping at any one channel for more than the allowed 2 minute increment.

But for now I’m done I’m going to bed, if I can teach you one lesson it would be never eat a repacked prepackaged hamburger from a store that boast that it has a shelf life of 30 years.


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