Think there's truth to things said in anger? Or not?

[MouseJunkie]

Or is it just things randomly said during anger? Or do you think people just attack things about someone they know are insecurities in anger to be hurtful?

Someone said some really mean things to me recently in anger and later apologized and said they didn't mean it, but I find myself wondering if they would have really said it, if they weren't thinking it at one point.

I didn't let it bother me at first, but it's sneaking up on me now and really messing with me. Old insecurities rearing it's ugly head, I guess.

So, what do you think? Is there a hint of truth to our anger?

 

[Hillbeans]

Or is it just things randomly said during anger? Or do you think people just attack things about someone they know are insecurities in anger to be hurtful?

Someone said some really mean things to me recently in anger and later apologized and said they didn't mean it, but I find myself wondering if they would have really said it, if they weren't thinking it at one point.

I didn't let it bother me at first, but it's sneaking up on me now and really messing with me. Old insecurities rearing it's ugly head, I guess.

So, what do you think? Is there a hint of truth to our anger?

I would think there is more than a hint of truth when you are angry with someone. It doesn't mean you hate the person, but it is the time that stuff can just come out that you've been keeping inside for awhile.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I would think there is more than a hint of truth when you are angry with someone. It doesn't mean you hate the person, but it is the time that stuff can just come out that you've been keeping inside for awhile.

Agreed...

 

[Mermaid02]

Very often people lash out and say the most hurtful things they can think of- whether there is a hint of truth there or not.

 

[mumom95]

I would think there is more than a hint of truth when you are angry with someone. It doesn't mean you hate the person, but it is the time that stuff can just come out that you've been keeping inside for awhile.

Agreed. Things don't just come out of nowhere. The person may feel really bad about what they said, and didn't mean to say it, but there has to have been some truth to it or the thought would not have been there.

 

[MouseJunkie]

I thought that too. It boils down to this and yes, I shouldn't let this get at me, nor should I let someone else's words have so much control over me, but today it is. I'm working on changing that, but right now I'm irritated.

My ex in an argument attacked my physical attributes (my looks), knowing it's an old insecurity (a lovely girl on the bus when I was a kid got her kicks out of calling me ugly every day and making me cry...nice girl!) and said he dumped me because his ex (his current assumed girlfriend...yeah I know...nice guy! Whole another story! Yes, I know I deserve WAY better and he is the idiot not me!) is way better looking than me.

At first, I was like whatever. I may not be a super model, but I'm pretty cute, if you ask me. I honestly don't think she's any cuter than me, nor am I uglier than her. I consider myself attractive, though not God's gift to humanity and I think I have a pretty great personality, but why oh why am I letting this bother me today? Why two weeks later...do I suddenly feel vulnerable.

Yes, I should never allow someone to make me feel bad about myself, but I'm having trouble feeling beautiful today and I'm angry because I think he does mean it. He just felt guilty about what he said and therefore apologized.

Am I right?

Anyway, I guess I need to hear all the pyscho babble today...fire away Christina Aguilera's of the world....cause I am beautiful no matter what they Say...words can't bring me down!

I've worked hard to build my self esteem and confidence, but today I'm backsliding.

 

[marypoppinswannabe]

In this situation, I would tell him to kiss off..

It sounds like he was pushing buttons to get a reaction out of you and to get the upper hand in the argument. Especially, since he knew your history with that particular insecurity.

Yes, you are definitely better without him.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I thought that too. It boils down to this and yes, I shouldn't let this get at me, nor should I let someone else's words have so much control over me, but today it is. I'm working on changing that, but right now I'm irritated.

My ex in an argument attacked my physical attributes (my looks), knowing it's an old insecurity (a lovely girl on the bus when I was a kid got her kicks out of calling me ugly every day and making me cry...nice girl!) and said he dumped me because his ex (his current assumed girlfriend...yeah I know...nice guy! Whole another story! Yes, I know I deserve WAY better and he is the idiot not me!) is way better looking than me.

At first, I was like whatever. I may not be a super model, but I'm pretty cute, if you ask me. I honestly don't think she's any cuter than me, nor am I uglier than her. I consider myself attractive, though not God's gift to humanity and I think I have a pretty great personality, but why oh why am I letting this bother me today? Why two weeks later...do I suddenly feel vulnerable.

Yes, I should never allow someone to make me feel bad about myself, but I'm having trouble feeling beautiful today and I'm angry because I think he does mean it. He just felt guilty about what he said and therefore apologized.

Am I right?

Anyway, I guess I need to hear all the pyscho babble today...fire away Christina Aguilera's of the world....cause I am beautiful no matter what they Say...words can't bring me down!

I've worked hard to build my self esteem and confidence, but today I'm backsliding.

Reading this, I would say that you have a pretty good self-image. Don't let a jerk ruin that...

 

[lovemygoofy]

I thought that too. It boils down to this and yes, I shouldn't let this get at me, nor should I let someone else's words have so much control over me, but today it is. I'm working on changing that, but right now I'm irritated.

My ex in an argument attacked my physical attributes (my looks), knowing it's an old insecurity (a lovely girl on the bus when I was a kid got her kicks out of calling me ugly every day and making me cry...nice girl!) and said he dumped me because his ex (his current assumed girlfriend...yeah I know...nice guy! Whole another story! Yes, I know I deserve WAY better and he is the idiot not me!) is way better looking than me.

At first, I was like whatever. I may not be a super model, but I'm pretty cute, if you ask me. I honestly don't think she's any cuter than me, nor am I uglier than her. I consider myself attractive, though not God's gift to humanity and I think I have a pretty great personality, but why oh why am I letting this bother me today? Why two weeks later...do I suddenly feel vulnerable.

Yes, I should never allow someone to make me feel bad about myself, but I'm having trouble feeling beautiful today and I'm angry because I think he does mean it. He just felt guilty about what he said and therefore apologized.

Am I right?

Anyway, I guess I need to hear all the pyscho babble today...fire away Christina Aguilera's of the world....cause I am beautiful no matter what they Say...words can't bring me down!

I've worked hard to build my self esteem and confidence, but today I'm backsliding.

I think all women have insecure moments. It's only natural especially after a breakup to have that doubt. We all have doubts and worries.

Heck I've been married for almost 8 years and know he loves me and I still have days of OMG I feel like an ugly fat cow.

Tomorrow wear something that makes you feel gorgeous and hot and smile. Think about all the crappy stuff that you don't miss with your ex, including the fact that he runs his mouth too much, and be happy he is gone.

 

[kathie859]

OP, your ex sounds like a real twerp!! He said this just to annoy you. And he did. Now get yourself together and move on past his hurtful words. You know you're just fine the way you are and if he doesn't like you that way, who cares He's an "EX" for a reason.

On the other hand, sometimes things just pop out of peoples' mouths uncensored and I think that sometimes they have given voice to something that they have thought but have not said aloud. Everyone's entitled to their own opinions. It doesn't make them right or wrong. So I tend to gauge people by how they treat people not by what they say. Some individuals talk a good game and are dreadful in their dealings with people and some people talk trash and have good hearts. What's important is how YOU feel and what YOU believe.

 

[MouseJunkie]

I think all women have insecure moments. It's only natural especially after a breakup to have that doubt. We all have doubts and worries.

Heck I've been married for almost 8 years and know he loves me and I still have days of OMG I feel like an ugly fat cow.

Tomorrow wear something that makes you feel gorgeous and hot and smile. Think about all the crappy stuff that you don't miss with your ex, including the fact that he runs his mouth too much, and be happy he is gone.

Thanks...the words ring true. I'll have to do that...wear something that makes me feel gorgeous, but then that requires that I do laundry. ha ha

Yes, I know he is just that, a twerp! I just needed a little pick me up today and I appreciate the lift all!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I read somewhere (can't remember where at the moment) that the faults you find the most annoying in others is really the faults that you yourself have and can't stand.
I think that some things said in anger can be the truth but most of the time I think it is the situation at that moment that is overwhelming and causing you to lash out as a defense mechanism.

 

[merryweather20]

I think that things said in anger, can be truthful, but given the facts you gave us it sounds more like this was said in jealousy.

He's probably feeling pretty stupid for trading down, and said ust the opposite to make himself feel better.

 

[C.Ann]

Sometimes - but not always..

 

[chisnpeke]

No advice just

I know how that can hurt

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I read somewhere (can't remember where at the moment) that the faults you find the most annoying in others is really the faults that you yourself have and can't stand.

I say this all the time. The things I find most irritating in others are things I KNOW I do. Not quite so annoying when it's me though.

 

[sunnyday123]

I thought that too. It boils down to this and yes, I shouldn't let this get at me, nor should I let someone else's words have so much control over me, but today it is. I'm working on changing that, but right now I'm irritated.

My ex in an argument attacked my physical attributes (my looks), knowing it's an old insecurity (a lovely girl on the bus when I was a kid got her kicks out of calling me ugly every day and making me cry...nice girl!) and said he dumped me because his ex (his current assumed girlfriend...yeah I know...nice guy! Whole another story! Yes, I know I deserve WAY better and he is the idiot not me!) is way better looking than me.

At first, I was like whatever. I may not be a super model, but I'm pretty cute, if you ask me. I honestly don't think she's any cuter than me, nor am I uglier than her. I consider myself attractive, though not God's gift to humanity and I think I have a pretty great personality, but why oh why am I letting this bother me today? Why two weeks later...do I suddenly feel vulnerable.

Yes, I should never allow someone to make me feel bad about myself, but I'm having trouble feeling beautiful today and I'm angry because I think he does mean it. He just felt guilty about what he said and therefore apologized.

Am I right?

Anyway, I guess I need to hear all the pyscho babble today...fire away Christina Aguilera's of the world....cause I am beautiful no matter what they Say...words can't bring me down!

I've worked hard to build my self esteem and confidence, but today I'm backsliding.

In this particular situation, let it roll off our back ( which I am sure is gorgeous!) like water off a duck. He's trying to hurt you because he obviously mucked up, and wants you to feel as bad as he does.

My favorite come back ever to my ex-husband was this ( feel free to use it!)
Scene: He was cleaning out my Jeep that was leased.

Him: (storming into house) You won't even get off your fat ### to help me clean out your car!

Me: My ### may be fat, but I can lose weight. You can't grow more hair. ( this was followed by calling him many words and suggesting he do something anatomically impossible)

The look on his face was worth the fear of him beating the crap out of me.

 

[MouseJunkie]

Thanks for all the comments. I'm feeling better than I did earlier. I somehow knew I could come here and you all would make me feel better. I was just having a bad day, but afterall tomorrow is another day!

BTW (I think you'll get a kick out of this.) when I moved the rest of my stuff out, I showed up with 4 cute guys. I made sure I was looking extra "Good" that day and I told him, "See those 4 guys down there? They're all with me and I can have any one of them I want."

So, I was still feeling hurt, but still feisty as ever. I didn't believewhat I was saying whole heartedly when I said it, but I made sure he thought I believed every word. It was an Academy Award winning performance.

Thanks again for all the kind words and the pick me up.

 

[EllaM]

BTW (I think you'll get a kick out of this.) when I moved the rest of my stuff out, I showed up with 4 cute guys. I made sure I was looking extra "Good" that day and I told him, "See those 4 guys down there? They're all with me and I can have any one of them I want."

Good for you. Now do as the song says and "wash that man right outa your hair". He's so not worth it. Jerkosaurous Extremes rank right up there with Darwin Award winners. Not worthy to reproduce.

 

[XTinabell]

This depends on the situation and the people involved. I think sometimes people will play on your insecurities because they know it will hit the hardest. Insulting a females appearance is a cheap shot. Most women are insecure about the way the look in some shape or form so it's an easy target when trying to hurt women.
I think in other situations though there is some truth behind words exchanged in anger but typically those are about character flaws.