Things that surprised you on multi-generational trips

courtney1188

Mouseketeer
Joined
Apr 24, 2018
Our next trip will be my first one with three generations going! It’s going to be me and my husband, our two kids (ages 4 and 6), and my parents. I feel like it will go pretty smoothly - I went to Disney tons of times with my parents a ton of times as a kid and started helping with the planning in my teens, so I know that my parents’ vacation style is very much like ours. We’re both rope drop and midday break people, for example. Similar levels of activity/stamina - they don’t need scooters or anything like that. And we took our kids for the first time last summer, so I have hindsight on what to do differently next time (get the DAS pass right away for the six year old who is on the spectrum, bring ear protection, let him watch ride videos ahead of time so he’s excited instead of scared, etc.)

But I’m sure there will still be things that pop up and surprise me, so I thought it would be interesting to ask - what surprised you on your Disney trips with multiple generations? Anything you ended up wishing you’d discussed in advance or planned for?
 
Sometimes either you or your parents will get emotional about doing a certain thing with a certain kid. We got there and suddenly I had this image of riding Dumbo with my daughter and it was super important to me. We had a rule that if I or my husband wanted to ride with our kid because it was special, we had the right. It served us well on the trip we took recently with my brother, SIL, and their son... they "won" if they wanted to do something they saw as part of the magic with their son. Other than that, we made everyone take turns.

Also souvenirs/snacks/"stuff". Make sure there is a plan in place to ensure no hard feelings - if the grandparents like to spoil, you might limit them (we said they could only get 1 thing per day per kid, we had to approve it since they sometimes forget what is OK for little kids, and if it didnt fit in our luggage they had to figure out how to get it home). I remember thinking that one was silly but once we got there and my kids saw the grandparents were emotional about the whole thing and probably would have bought them literally every little thing they asked for...we were glad. (Extra ice cream bars and light up toys and pins and pressed pennies and there are SO many options to spend money!)

You'll have a fantastic time - the trip we took with everyone is one of the fondest memories of my whole life.
 
All of our trips (except for one) have included my parents, and DH and me and our kids. There are times when my parents will kind of go behind my back and buy my kids something I said they couldn’t have or will Allow them to do something they know I wouldn’t, which is annoying, but their defense is that they’re grandparents and they have that right. It was also surprising on our last trip when my parents were the ones most excited to do FoP and ToT. Also surprising (or maybe not) is that there will be times when you wanna be on your own, you can kinda drive each other crazy. But the benefits far outweigh any of this, having baby sitters, extra help with the kids and making memories together is priceless.
 
Disney grandmother here :)
We have gone on several generational trips with kids and grandkids. The "buy the grandkids everything" never hit us, but we would buy them something they Really wanted, just one special thing, that was ok with the parents. The parents gave them spending money,and when that was gone, it was gone, which helped. I confess we did go a little overboard at times, but now they are grown up and going their own ways. We will always remember their special smiles when they received a special gift form us. That can't be taken away. I dont' believe in giving a child everything they want, but if they have a special thingthat they have been watching for a few days and still want, then we do it:)
One thing with multigenerational trips, we found out that everyone has to go their own way and do their own thing after a while. We went to some parks with them but always went our own way while there. We did wild rides with the grandkids (mom was scared and dad got sick on them), but also did our own thing too. We always ate together. It was fun and wouldn't have done it any other way! I miss those times so cherish them.
 
We've been on several and one trip with both sets of parents(at the same time). For the most part we have nothing but good memories but I was a little surprised on our first trip when my parents decided to go back to the room pretty early. I had planned our ride schedule and they just were not interested. I also got a little tired of convincing them to pass a ride with no wait to get to our next ride. Skipping a ride with no wait to go to another made no sense to them. We have a rule that we buy no souvenirs until the end of the trip but the grandparents figured a gift a day was fair. My dh and I gave up and were just thankful they were willing to do so much. I will add on our first trip with my mother in law we were at Epcot for Illuminations. At the end she came over to me with tears in her eyes and said this was the best thing she had ever experienced. She thanked us for including her. My husband is the youngest of 10 children and she has seen her share of hard times so we were so happy for her. She talked about the trip to everyone she saw when we returned for months. She has went us a few more times and still tears up for a majority of the trip. Traveling with family really can be a fun experience.
 
It can be fun if you set boundaries and clarify the expectations up front.

The first time we went, we stayed in a room that connected to my parents' room. We scheduled all the same park days, and all the same meals.
It got to be too much, and even my parents realized it. My mother didn't like the character meals. She doesn't want people in costumers bothering her with all that tom-foolery while she's eating. And my kids weren't interested in the same old regular restaurants you can visit at home. One day, they chose to break away from us and go to another park, and they had the best time and so did we.

The next time we went, we stayed in different resorts and met up at select times and park days for things that we all wanted in common. For example, we wanted Epcot on the same day, so that's what we did. We even made different fast passes if someone wanted something different, and it was understood no hard feelings. It worked out so much better. They got what they wanted. We got what we wanted. And we all still got time together.

On our July trip, we are meeting my in-laws and niece, who will be going into her senior year of high school. We are staying at different resorts. They will only be meeting us for some park days and not others. They have park hoppers; we don't. They are on the dining plan; we aren't. We have a few meals scheduled with them. They really want to focus on my niece since this is likely the last trip they will have with her before she is a fully grown adult. And we understand that. My children will still be under 10 at the time of our trip, so they have more time with them. But we are meeting up some, and it is understood that we all have different wants from the trip, and that's okay.
 
We did this in 2016 with our kids and grandkids. We did not have any surprises, but I think this is why: Half of our group had been before, it was our 2nd trip with the grandkids, our 4 kids and their spouses are really close, all of them speak up so nobody has to wonder what is on anyone's mind, and our oldest daughter loves to plan and organize. We are fortunate to all live within 12 miles of each other so getting together often to plan was easy. We would get together, oldest daughter would have all kinds of notes and go over it all. Anyone with questions, asked and changes were made etc. For us what worked was lots of planning in advance. We did this to celebrate our 45th anniversary so the trip was our gift. Because of that we didn't buy the grandkids anything except at Sci Fi we got them the glow clip on things for their drinks. I wanted just three things to happen: 1. a picture in front of the castle with entire family and then one with just us and our 4 kids, I wanted one grandson and his dad to ride spaceship earth together because it was his favorite ride when we took just the grandkids, and I wanted our two adult sons to ride Toy Story Mania together. Everyone was agreeable to that. I know the kids also chose things they wanted to do with a certain family member and it seems like that all worked out too. We went to the same parks each day and we ate a table service meal together in the evenings. Other than that we split up throughout the day. Each family made their own fp choices but as it turned out, for the most part we all chose the same. We started planning about 18 mos. in advance, mostly because it was fun! We would all do it again in a heartbeat!
 


We did a number of trips with MIL, BIL and his family, and our family. What worked for us was, we stayed in the same hotel--usually adjoining rooms. We agreed on the same park on the same day. We would have one big meal together, usually at dinner. Ahead of time, BIL and I--two people who could bargain, yet respect each other's viewpoints and have a sense of humor--would agree on the restaurant choices. MIL only cared that we did Coral Reef each trip, so every other day/park was up for negotiation. Neither family got all their choices, but each got enough to feel they were respected.

We were dealing with multiple-aged kids, and different touring styles. My family was the rope-drop family that took afternoon breaks. BIL's gang got a later start, but didn't break. MIL took turns hanging with each family, and sometimes brought a friend that she would hang with. Sometimes, she did her own thing. She was a huge fan of the gardens of Epcot.
 
Also souvenirs/snacks/"stuff". Make sure there is a plan in place to ensure no hard feelings - if the grandparents like to spoil said:
This for sure - the grandparents are just as excited as the kids. Let the grandparents know the expectation prior - there are still going to be times they are going to try and skirt it ( especially if little ones tears are involved ) but it will help from driving you mad.
 
My toddler outlasted my MIL.

Too much togetherness is sometimes a bad thing. Our first full day ended up with an awkward disagreement between my husband and MIL.

Next summer is the big trip for my extended family, who match our touring speed and vacation priorities. I'm looking forward to that one. The demands are much less intense (one meal a day).
 
I have made adjustments after each trip and thought I had perfected it. If you are with me and the girls when ADR's occur I pay otherwise your on your own. Do not make any fast passes before noon. The girls and I rope drop to close everyone else goes back to the hotel whenever they feel like it. Now my daughters mother/stepfather can't stay long only a week, I always book 3-5 days more. I thought it was perfect but I found out that I need to talk to everyone more. The girls mother was kvetching at me saying we did all the cool stuff after she left. Things like Jedi Training or eating at Beaches & Cream. I am now trying to get everyone to at least check my schedule (party of 8). As to the buying thing I make no apologies. I make very good money as an IT Specialist and I only spend it on the girls (and the new grandson my 1st). But since I pay for the trip its my one rule if they want it I usually buy it.
 
We had issues with keeping everyone together. And with two 15 month olds, you really have to just go with the flow, and not plan a ton. That FP at 3:30? Might not happen if they have a melt down, and need to nap, or decided that playing at Casey Jr.'s water spot is way more fun.

Sometimes it's okay to tell the Grandmas and Grandpas to go do their own thing for awhile.
 
I would say scheduling meals was the most frustrating part of traveling with my parents. They don't eat breakfast early but my kids NEED breakfast before we head to the park. Then, my parents would be hungry 30 minutes after walking around the park. My mom actually stood in the Starbucks line for 40 minutes at rope drop. I believe in feeding kids before they say they are hungry because actually getting the food can take a while. I generally plan lunch around 11:00. My parents usually eat lunch around 1:00. We break for dinner around 5:00. Basically, our meal plans are out of sync. My recommendation would be to sync your trips up around one meal or fast passes and break off from the group as needed. Be upfront before you travel so any hard feelings can be worked out before the trip and expectations are managed. We realized that my parents loved roaming around Food & Wine but have no real desire to ride rides. Our solution was to walk around Food & Wine for dinner with each other. We had adjoining rooms at the Polynesian so they still got to hang out with the grandkids early in the morning, at rest time, dinner, and bedtime. It was a good balance of togetherness and meeting everyone's needs.
 
What a great thread. We planned our 3 generations trip in 2008, with DH and I being the grandparents. About a month before we're due to travel, my mother was visiting and as we excitedly were telling her of our plans, I think the bolt hit DH and I at the same time. We excused ourselves and made the fastest decision ever. He opened by saying he thought she might like to be coming along. I asked how he would feel about significantly adjusting OUR plans to just wallow in our joy of being with our 3 grandchildren (at the time they were 3, 3, and 4 - no twins!) I will remember his response forever and love him for it. He said that he only wished he had the chance to bring his mother, who passed just a few months after our second daughter was born. In about 2 minutes flat, we were back with Mom, pitching the idea to her. She made her decision just as quickly and suddenly we were a 4 generation party, ranging from 3 to 89.

We had a 5 bedroom/5 bathroom vacation home so she was easily able to share a twin room with our granddaughter. It was a great pairing! No problem getting her onto our flights. She was game to try an ECV, and did very well with it, considering she had never used one before the trip.

Overall, it was amazing. Her stamina was phenomenal, and as it was a 10 day trip, we went to the parks every other day, but they were long days. The only challenge for Mom was leaving the parks in the crowd. We had two solid strategies. We could slip the ECV into neutral and DH and I would push and steer it, with her on board. Alternately, one of us would drive it, while the other guided her along on foot. We were astounded at her walking from France to the car after the fireworks one night!!!! Did I mention she was 89?

The only thing we all agreed would have been better would have been for our DDs to stick to the original plan to have a vehicle for each family instead in going of opting to share a van. It saved on parking costs but limited their flexibility.

Our DDs both have a keen appreciation of how special it was to have their grandmother share that trip with their children. Mom will turn 100 in 8 days, and while she can't remember breakfast as soon as she has eaten it, she can still smile and talk about that trip!
 

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