girl_barrie
Practically Perfect in Every Way!
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2011
- Messages
- 292
I have been there too, except I rebelled and ran away when I was 15. Long story there, but I am now happy to be out and leading my own life without the heavy feelings of guilt from the brainwashing. Those feelings of guilt followed me well into my adult life but I now realize that I truly don't believe in what they teach, and coming to that realization finally set me free.
The fact that your experience was not the same as hers is not a legitimate reason to suggest that she *may* not be telling the truth or that what she has to say should not be given much creedence. I lived a life that sounds very similar to hers, so I know with 100% certainty that everything she says is probably true. I believe you also said you became a JW as an adult, correct? If so, then you didn't grow up in the religion as a child. You don't know the feeling of having *all* of your choices taken away from you and being told it's for your own good.
Contrary to what you said earlier, there most definitely *are* different "levels" of dedication and extremist behavior within the JW religion. My dad was an elder in our congregation, and you are fooling yourself if you think an elder's family isn't held to a higher standard.
Many things are left for individuals to decide - let their conscience be their guide. Some people will do things that others in the congregation would not ever do, including associating with others outside the congregation and allowing their children to celebrate holidays - especially if they have a non-witness parent (try having one unbelieving parent that despises everything about the religion and one elder parent that despises everything outside the religion. Now imagine that they both want you to side with them and do only what they want you to do, and you will know what a hard childhood is).
There was also abuse in the name of religion - at least in my house. You know the scripture, "spare the rod and spoil the child" - well my parents, especially my step-mom, took this seriously and literally, and did NOT spare the rod.
Sadly, this is what happened to my brother. Out of the three children, one was baptized. All three of us left the religion as teen-agers or young adults, and my parents will now only talk to two of us and shun the third (not that they will talk to us a whole lot, because even though we are not disfellowshipped, we are still considered "bad association" - yes, they do like to keep a close-knit group!). It is so heartbreaking to see my family torn apart in the name of religion. It definitely is always there in my mind and definitely has a negative effect on my relationship with my dad and step-mother.
However, in this case, it seems she has been struggling against this religion for quite some time, so my thoughts are that it's pretty unlikely that she's baptized.
Give the poor girl her cake and party. Allow her a bit of normalcy in her life. It appears that she is going to bolt from being a JW as soon as she can. Thank you to the OP for being a safe haven for her to go. If I didn't have my neighbors who took an interest and let me know that they were a safe place, I honestly do not know if I would be alive today. They helped me to escape.
I know that this has nothing to do with whether or not to allow this poor girl to have some cupcakes, but I just want to say that MY experience being a JW was very very similar to yours. Abuse and all. Being an elder's family is a tough one. The experience that SeaSpray relates of becoming a JW by choice as an adult and having a non-JW husband who encourages fun and celebration and REAL LIFE is very, very different than being raised as a JW.
It is so freeing to have escaped and to be able to celebrate any and everything!!!
