There is a bit of religion in this but it is really part of the ?

[hsmamato2]

So I can just do things with your kids or future kids if I dont respect you or your beliefs. Good Grief indeed.

Seriously..some of you posters... If we're not 'allowed' to bash other religious beliefs here on the Dis...then I think EVERYONE who posts should be held to that standard. you know who you are.
I think the real point is this, many teens feel differently from their parents about many different things.... this is just OP's particular question. Turning that into a discussion of abuse,vengeful parents and hidden cupcakes....why?
Why would anyone here feel comfortable inserting themselves into another family's personal business? I know I wouldn't,unless there was some ACTUAL abuse happening,not things that differ from my personal perspective or opinion.
What if OP had written about a kid who wanted a tattoo against her parents wishes,b/c her own kids were allowed to do what they wanted? should OP feel free to override the familys wishes to help out a teen who thinks differently? Or would Op do best by helping teenkid to see that sometimes you just have to live with stuff till you're of 'age' and old enough to choose independently....think about what some of you are saying.....

 

[bgirldeb]

JW's can have parties, give presents, eat cake, cupcakes, even make homemade waffles.

This is not a situation of a restrictive religion, but rather restrictive parenting.

This thread will not last long, I'm sure.

 

[Judy Pink]

JW's can have parties, give presents,

That is not true. I wish is was true, but it is not.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

That is not true. I wish is was true, but it is not.

I am asking because I am honestly curious...

You quoted a previous poster who said that JW CAN have parties and other things....And you said that is NOT true.

Is it something where some JW are more orthodox than others?

 

[mdsoccermom]

For all of you that seem to think the parent's beliefs don't matter, let's slip another religion in here. What if you knew a kid's family kept kosher? And what if that kid wanted to try ham or shrimp? Would you say, "here have some and if your parents don't like it, too bad?"

While the girl is 16, she still lives at home and would be the one to deal with the ramifications of what would happen if the parents found out. I don't think any single person has the right to go against the parents' wishes or insert their parenting choices into another family.

 

[dngnb8]

Take it easy on her. You have no idea what it is like to be mentally abused in the name of religion

So this gives them the right to interfere where they dont belong? Being a victim doesnt mean you can create other victims.

I think the real point is this, many teens feel differently from their parents about many different things.... this is just OP's particular question. Turning that into a discussion of abuse,vengeful parents and hidden cupcakes....why?

I disagree. The real point is, do we interfere with someones child because we disagree with their philosophy. What happens when someone using that methodology interferes with your children?

Why would anyone here feel comfortable inserting themselves into another family's personal business? I know I wouldn't,unless there was some ACTUAL abuse happening,not things that differ from my personal perspective or opinion.

Abuse is a funny word. Cult has been used already.

But I know Atheists who say all religion is a cult.

What if OP had written about a kid who wanted a tattoo against her parents wishes,b/c her own kids were allowed to do what they wanted? should OP feel free to override the familys wishes to help out a teen who thinks differently? Or would Op do best by helping teenkid to see that sometimes you just have to live with stuff till you're of 'age' and old enough to choose independently....think about what some of you are saying.....

I know it sounds like I am disagreeing with you, and on general principle I am not. I agree that based on the OP, nobody should be interfering. As long as that child is under the roof of those parents, it isnt anyone elses place to interfere.

But we have to be careful in how we clarify when involvement is okay. In general, every philosophy has extremists. JW, Mormon, Christian, Muslim, PETA, Green Peace, I can go on. Imagine if each of these groups took on the prerogative of involving them in the lives of teens because they feel what is being taught them is abuse.

This is why I made my comment earlier, slippery slope. Perception (whether accurate or not) carries more weight then fact.

 

[SeaSpray]

JW's can have parties, give presents, eat cake, cupcakes, even make homemade waffles.

This is not a situation of a restrictive religion, but rather restrictive parenting.

This thread will not last long, I'm sure.

Thank you. I was just about the post this exact thing.

I was raised Catholic but have an older sister who became one of Jehovah's Witnesses when I was about 10 yrs old. I saw how she raised my neice and I envy that childhood that my niece had. She was always surrounded by friends, going to and having parties, my sister and BIL would exchange (wrapped!) gifts with each other throughout the year whenever they wanted to, etc.

I had no interest in religion, for the most part. But my entire life I was able to observe JWs.

When I was about 29 I became interested in the bible. Long story short, I have been one of Jehovah's Witnesses for almost 20 years now.

When my DSs (now 23 and 20) were young, I'd have backyard parties with pinatas, painting, the whole bit of fun for whatever age they were at the time. I had these parties in the summer because the weather was good, and then sometimes in the dead of winter I'd have a party for the kids just to brighten up the season.

Lots of JW families have parties and invite other kids, and they all have a blast.

That is not true. I wish is was true, but it is not.

Sorry, but it IS true. I'm sorry that your parents were so restrictive.
There are different parenting types in ALL religions.

Parties and presents, etc, in GENERAL are definitely allowed in my religion. And there are actual reasons as to why we don't celebrate the usual holidays, it's not done arbitrarily.

My DH is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses but he loves all of the people in my congregation and loves when we get together with them

And yes, this thread is religious, but I wanted to comment.

EDITED TO ADD: In the interest of full disclosure, neither of my DSs have decided to become Jehovah's Witnesses. We did have a house rule that they would accompany me to most meetings (church) until they were 18, and they were fine with that. At this point, DS23 does not have interest in any religion but has told me that he feels that JWs is the one he'd choose if he were to choose a religion. DS20 has recently told me that he agrees with about 98% of what JWs believe and that he knows what they teach is the truth. I LOVE my DSs and respect that they have the right to make their own decisions regarding religion. You cannot force religion onto anyone. You can teach them, but you can't and should not, force them once they become adults.

 

[dngnb8]

For all of you that seem to think the parent's beliefs don't matter, let's slip another religion in here. What if you knew a kid's family kept kosher? And what if that kid wanted to try ham or shrimp? Would you say, "here have some and if your parents don't like it, too bad?"

While the girl is 16, she still lives at home and would be the one to deal with the ramifications of what would happen if the parents found out. I don't think any single person has the right to go against the parents' wishes or insert their parenting choices into another family.

Excellent example. Or someone who gave up chocolate for Lent, and you allowed them some. Or not eating meat on Friday. Facing the sunrise in prayer, or sunset....

We can go on with many examples of practicing faiths.

 

[hsmamato2]

JW's can have parties, give presents, eat cake, cupcakes, even make homemade waffles.
.

Judypink- I don't know you personally and I don't know your agenda here- but you are WRONG. Not that it matters for the aske of this discussion. As long as this thread is veering off into lockdown-land I might as well make this point, Judypink you are incorrect.
I also agree with the thought of a pp- what if it were a 'kosher' issue? Or what if it were an issue of an Amish kid wanting to wear modern blue jeans? Or a strict catholic kid who wants to skip weekly mass,or a Hindu kid who wants to eat a burger?
At what point is it ok for someone to interfere with another family,when there isn't any 'abuse' taking place, but obviously a strong difference of opinion,mixed in with plenty of teenage drama?

 

[hsmamato2]

JW's can have parties, give presents, eat cake, cupcakes, even make homemade waffles.
.

Judypink- I don't know you personally and I don't know your agenda here- but you are WRONG. Not that it matters for the sake of this discussion. As long as this thread is veering off into lockdown-land I might as well make this point, Judypink you are incorrect.
I also agree with the thought of a pp- what if it were a 'kosher' issue? Or what if it were an issue of an Amish kid wanting to wear modern blue jeans? Or a strict catholic kid who wants to skip weekly mass,or a Hindu kid who wants to eat a burger?
At what point is it ok for someone to interfere with another family,when there isn't any 'abuse' taking place, but obviously a strong difference of opinion,mixed in with plenty of teenage drama?

 

[hsmamato2]

sorry for the double post my computer is acting all funky today

 

[Pigeon]

The family that keeps kosher probably isn't going to let their kid eat in your house at all.

 

[penn19]

I always thought it was true about JW and parties. I went to school back in the 70's with a boy who was one, and in 2nd grade, he would sit on the playground when we had Halloween, Christmas and Valentines parties and I know he didn't celebrate his birthday. I remember we all felt bad for him because not only did he not celebrate it, he didn't know when it was. He said he wasn't supposed to know.

 

[jrmasm]

I always thought it was true about JW and parties. I went to school back in the 70's with a boy who was one, and in 2nd grade, he would sit on the playground when we had Halloween, Christmas and Valentines parties and I know he didn't celebrate his birthday. I remember we all felt bad for him because not only did he not celebrate it, he didn't know when it was. He said he wasn't supposed to know.

My husband's friend who is JW doesn't celebrate holidays or birthdays.

 

[curious3069]

I always thought it was true about JW and parties. I went to school back in the 70's with a boy who was one, and in 2nd grade, he would sit on the playground when we had Halloween, Christmas and Valentines parties and I know he didn't celebrate his birthday. I remember we all felt bad for him because not only did he not celebrate it, he didn't know when it was. He said he wasn't supposed to know.

Wonder if it's the type of party...ie, a party as a fun get together with friends vs. a celebration of a holiday/birthday/etc. that is muddying the waters for some of this.

 

[jrmasm]

Wonder if it's the type of party...ie, a party as a fun get together with friends vs. a celebration of a holiday/birthday/etc. that is muddying the waters for some of this.

As I understood the 'rules' from my husband's friend, parties are fine (like a bbq) but attending parties thrown by non JW's was discouraged.

Celebrations were never ok.

 

[princessmom29]

So I can just do things with your kids or future kids if I dont respect you or your beliefs. Good Grief indeed.

JW's can have parties, give presents, eat cake, cupcakes, even make homemade waffles.

This is not a situation of a restrictive religion, but rather restrictive parenting.

This thread will not last long, I'm sure.

no this thread is going to close soon. I have never know and JW's that were allowed to celebrate ANY hoilday, and I have known many. I am sure some skirt the issue by throwing "nonbirthday" paries ect but it is one of the central tenets of the religion NOT to celebrate holidays or hold festivals because such festivals and celebrations are pagan in orgin. I don't see how changing the date they are hosted changes that???

 

[penn19]

I just googles it and EVERY thing I looked at said that JW do NOT celebrate birthdays and other "pagan " holidays.


I don't know why, but it's freaking me out that everything I read, and people on this board have confirmed, that they do not celebrate and yet there are some JW who say they do. Like it's part of their conversion tactics or something. Makes me very uncomfortable.

 

[SeaSpray]

I just googles it and EVERY thing I looked at said that JW do NOT celebrate birthdays and other "pagan " holidays.


I don't know why, but it's freaking me out that everything I read, and people on this board have confirmed, that they do not celebrate and yet there are some JW who say they do. Like it's part of their conversion tactics or something. Makes me very uncomfortable.

I haven't seen any Jehovah's Witnesses say that they celebrate their birthdays or any of the other traditional holidays.

There is nothing secretive or anything; and there is no different "level" of Jehovah's Witnesses (for example some more orthodox than others).

When I said that I had parties for my DSs, I didn't mean that they were the "star" of the party in the same sense as a birthday party being for a specific person. I meant, that I threw parties for my sons and their friends. Some families that I knew would throw parties for the kids because it was the end of the school year, or at back to school time. There is nothing wrong with a party, in and of itself. The same thing with presents.

When my sons got to be older (middle and high school age), they'd ask if they could have some friends over and we'd turn the family room into a "gaming room" by letting them bring extra TVs in so several of them could play video games at the same time; order pizzas, get other junk type foods, etc and basically let them have a "party" with their friends whenever they wanted to. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

I'm actually surprised that this thread is still open, but I'm glad to be able to give my comments because there has always been a lot of misinformation about Jehovah's Witnesses out there.

Edited to add: A child not knowing when their birthday is really a foreign concept to me. Every year I love to tell my DSs about the circumstances around their births (how I was in the hospital for 3 days before DS23 was born. lol) and how happy I was when they were born, etc etc. I don't celebrate their birthdays in the traditional way, but I absolutely acknowledge their birth dates and let them know that I love being a mom and that they *were* born.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

As a former JW, my heart breaks for this 16 year old girl. The best thing she can do is excape this cult the minute she turns 18. It took me until I turned 24 and I regret that I did not do it sooner.

So oppressive and so controlling. No human should have to endure the childhood that I did. I missed out on so much and will never forgive my parents for what they did to me by forcing me to be a JW.

Hug that child. Hug her tight.

But, DON'T give her gifts or throw a party. I am crying as I type that, because she deserves to be happy and celebrate milestones and holidays. But the grief that she and you will receive from her brainwashed parents will be horrible. Tell her when she turns into an adult, you will give her whatever she wants.

Once she turns 18, throw her a MASSIVE celebration if she wants it. Hopefully, she will fly free from The Cult

I'd listen to the expert on this one. She's been there. I haven't.

I absolutely agree about throwing her a big party on her 18th. I think I'd also talk with her now, explain how sorry our family is that we can't give her a least a small party now, but that it just isn't appropriate for us to go behind her parents' back. But I also would tell her that we are really looking forward to her 18th birthday party!