There is a bit of religion in this but it is really part of the ?

[LisaR]

I haven't seen any Jehovah's Witnesses say that they celebrate their birthdays or any of the other traditional holidays.

There is nothing secretive or anything; and there is no different "level" of Jehovah's Witnesses (for example some more orthodox than others).

When I said that I had parties for my DSs, I didn't mean that they were the "star" of the party in the same sense as a birthday party being for a specific person. I meant, that I threw parties for my sons and their friends. Some families that I knew would throw parties for the kids because it was the end of the school year, or at back to school time. There is nothing wrong with a party, in and of itself. The same thing with presents.

When my sons got to be older (middle and high school age), they'd ask if they could have some friends over and we'd turn the family room into a "gaming room" by letting them bring extra TVs in so several of them could play video games at the same time; order pizzas, get other junk type foods, etc and basically let them have a "party" with their friends whenever they wanted to. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

I'm actually surprised that this thread is still open, but I'm glad to be able to give my comments because there has always been a lot of misinformation about Jehovah's Witnesses out there.

Edited to add: A child not knowing when their birthday is really a foreign concept to me. Every year I love to tell my DSs about the circumstances around their births (how I was in the hospital for 3 days before DS23 was born. lol) and how happy I was when they were born, etc etc. I don't celebrate their birthdays in the traditional way, but I absolutely acknowledge their birth dates and let them know that I love being a mom and that they *were* born.

Thanks for this information. As we all wait for the hammer to come down on this thread, I have found it very informative. I was on the side of having a birthday party for the girl until someone pointed out the kosher issue. I would never be the person to break that tradition for a 16 y/o so I shouldn't be the person to break the birthday party tradition.

SeaSpray, am I understanding that the parties you had were just for fun and nothing specific? I know we aren't all imagining the the JW kids in school that had to leave the classroom for birthday parties, valentine's, etc. Is it that the party can't be for a specific event?

 

[SeaSpray]

I'd listen to the expert on this one. She's been there. I haven't.

I absolutely agree about throwing her a big party on her 18th. I think I'd also talk with her now, explain how sorry our family is that we can't give her a least a small party now, but that it just isn't appropriate for us to go behind her parents' back. But I also would tell her that we are really looking forward to her 18th birthday party!

She *may* be telling the truth as to her own childhood experiences, but that is absolutely NOT representative of any Jehovah's Witnesses that I have known for the last 40 years.

She is no "expert" on the religion itself. But since I don't know this person (who just happened to join a Disney message board yesterday and who has yet to post a thing about Disney), I do not give much creedence to what they have to say on this thread.

 

[SeaSpray]

Thanks for this information. As we all wait for the hammer to come down on this thread, I have found it very informative. I was on the side of having a birthday party for the girl until someone pointed out the kosher issue. I would never be the person to break that tradition for a 16 y/o so I shouldn't be the person to break the birthday party tradition.

SeaSpray, am I understanding that the parties you had were just for fun and nothing specific? I know we aren't all imagining the the JW kids in school that had to leave the classroom for birthday parties, valentine's, etc. Is it that the party can't be for a specific event?

You're welcome, for the information. You are obviously a well-intentioned person.

Regarding "parties" - When I was in elementary school there was a girl who was one of Jehovah's Witnesses and she would miss all of the usual classroom parties, too.

It's not the fact that it's a party, or for a specific reason, but rather the fact that birthdays and most other holidays have traditions (blowing out birthday candles, offering the birthday child a gift, etc) that are of Pagan origin.

Super Bowl party? Absolutely. Bridal shower? Absolutely. Summer BBQ and invite a bunch of people over for the fun of it? Absolutely.

The difference is that these types of gatherings do not have traditions or roots in non-Christian religions. And Jehovah's Witnesses ARE Christians. (I know that some people don't realize or know that).

Do we want to have wild, drunken parties? No, not really. And I know many people of ALL religions who don't want to have wild, drunken parties. But a nice get-together with friends, and throwing get-togethers for your kids, is fun and a great way to socialize.

 

[Uncle Remus]

I just googles it and EVERY thing I looked at said that JW do NOT celebrate birthdays and other "pagan " holidays.


I don't know why, but it's freaking me out that everything I read, and people on this board have confirmed, that they do not celebrate and yet there are some JW who say they do. Like it's part of their conversion tactics or something. Makes me very uncomfortable.

My MIL is Jewish 'n celebrates Christmas with a tree, presents 'n all, she's still Jewish. And I know some Catholics who practice birth control, they're still Catholic. Heck, I know quite a few Baptists who support equal marriage 'n they're still Baptists.

What's this thread about?

 

[*JoGo*]

Valentine's Day would be another holiday. So that's not good either.

Oh. I thought it "didn't count". I wouldn't do that then.

 

[eeyoremum]

I am surprised the girl is allowed in your home. In my experience JWs tend not to allow their children to socialize outside of school with children not of their faith.

Personally I would bake the cupcakes they don't have to be "birthday" cupcakes just plain old everyday cupcakes.

 

[princessmom29]

You're welcome, for the information. You are obviously a well-intentioned person.

Regarding "parties" - When I was in elementary school there was a girl who was one of Jehovah's Witnesses and she would miss all of the usual classroom parties, too.

It's not the fact that it's a party, or for a specific reason, but rather the fact that birthdays and most other holidays have traditions (blowing out birthday candles, offering the birthday child a gift, etc) that are of Pagan origin.

Super Bowl party? Absolutely. Bridal shower? Absolutely. Summer BBQ and invite a bunch of people over for the fun of it? Absolutely.

The difference is that these types of gatherings do not have traditions or roots in non-Christian religions. And Jehovah's Witnesses ARE Christians. (I know that some people don't realize or know that).

Do we want to have wild, drunken parties? No, not really. And I know many people of ALL religions who don't want to have wild, drunken parties. But a nice get-together with friends, and throwing get-togethers for your kids, is fun and a great way to socialize.

Actually, they do, but noot roots that your church chooses to recognize. Baby showers for instance have thier roots in fertiliy rites where mothers were "showered" with various items(somtimes flower petals, sometimes sage or incense) in an attempt to ward off evil spirts and gifts were given in an attepmt to convince them to not choose to take this child. Most gatherings, festivals and celebrations that we hold today have thier roots in paganism, because we ALL have our rootsi n paganism at some point down the line. Getting together as acommunity and sharing food when it is pentiful was often a way to thank the gods for a buntiful harvest. Morning the dead was a way to ensure their spirts were at peace. I could go on.... but you get the point. JW's pick and choose what they consider "pagan origin".

 

[Talking Hands]

That is not true. I wish is was true, but it is not.

I have several friends that are JW and yes they do have parties just not to celebrate anything. Yes they do gift and accept gifts. Nothing big and they are also not to celebrate anything but just in friendship or as a thank you for something they have done for me.

What I do not do is give them a gift for their birthday or any other holiday or have a party to celebrate it. I do somethings wish them a wonderful day and send my love. They are never offended by this. And I pray for them daily.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I have several friends that are JW and yes they do have parties just not to celebrate anything. Yes they do gift and accept gifts. Nothing big and they are also not to celebrate anything but just in friendship or as a thank you for something they have done for me.

What I do not do is give them a gift for their birthday or any other holiday or have a party to celebrate it. I do somethings wish them a wonderful day and send my love. They are never offended by this. And I pray for them daily.

Why would you pray for them daily?

 

[LisaR]

You're welcome, for the information. You are obviously a well-intentioned person.

Regarding "parties" - When I was in elementary school there was a girl who was one of Jehovah's Witnesses and she would miss all of the usual classroom parties, too.

It's not the fact that it's a party, or for a specific reason, but rather the fact that birthdays and most other holidays have traditions (blowing out birthday candles, offering the birthday child a gift, etc) that are of Pagan origin.

Super Bowl party? Absolutely. Bridal shower? Absolutely. Summer BBQ and invite a bunch of people over for the fun of it? Absolutely.

The difference is that these types of gatherings do not have traditions or roots in non-Christian religions. And Jehovah's Witnesses ARE Christians. (I know that some people don't realize or know that).

Do we want to have wild, drunken parties? No, not really. And I know many people of ALL religions who don't want to have wild, drunken parties. But a nice get-together with friends, and throwing get-togethers for your kids, is fun and a great way to socialize.

Thanks! I didn't know any of this so it has been very helpful!

I am surprised the girl is allowed in your home. In my experience JWs tend not to allow their children to socialize outside of school with children not of their faith.

Personally I would bake the cupcakes they don't have to be "birthday" cupcakes just plain old everyday cupcakes.

I don't buy this at all and would venture to guess that this was more of a parenting choice. While I do not have any friends that are JW's, I did go to school with a dozen or so over my years and all of them had many different types of friends and socialized with them after school. Shortly before moving out of my parent's house for college, a JW family moved in across the street and their little kids were always out playing with neighborhood kids when I was home on break.

 

[princessmom29]

Thanks! I didn't know any of this so it has been very helpful!



I don't buy this at all and would venture to guess that this was more of a parenting choice. While I do not have any friends that are JW's, I did go to school with a dozen or so over my years and all of them had many different types of friends and socialized with them after school. Shortly before moving out of my parent's house for college, a JW family moved in across the street and their little kids were always out playing with neighborhood kids when I was home on break.

this has not been my experience. I went to school with many JW's and have taught many over the years. The vast majority were not allowed to particiapte in after school activites or to spend time outside of school with those not of thier faith. The majority of JW children in our local congregations are homeschooled, and the whole community is very insular. They don't agree with the idea that having friends outside your own religion is acceptable, at least in all the congregations I am familiar with in the area.

 

[LisaR]

this has not been my experience. I went to school with many JW's and have taught many over the years. The vast majority were not allowed to particiapte in after school activites or to spend time outside of school with those not of thier faith. The majority of JW children in our local congregations are homeschooled, and the whole community is very insular. They don't agree with the idea that having friends outside your own religion is acceptable, at least in all the congregations I am familiar with in the area.

I still don't think this is a JW thing, I think this is a parenting thing. Couple their religion with homeschooling and I can most certainly see them keeping their children away from other faiths and public schooled kids. The homeschool community has many people that isolate their children in the name of religion but it isn't the religion that demands it. I say this as a parent that has homeschooled for 16 years. I found the JW kids I went to school with to be just like the other kids. The only odd thing that made them stand out from everyone else was when they had to leave the classroom for parties.

To bring it back to the OP, the girl being referenced is obviously allowed to socialize outside her religion, as well.

 

[SeaSpray]

Actually, they do, but noot roots that your church chooses to recognize. Baby showers for instance have thier roots in fertiliy rites where mothers were "showered" with various items(somtimes flower petals, sometimes sage or incense) in an attempt to ward off evil spirts and gifts were given in an attepmt to convince them to not choose to take this child. Most gatherings, festivals and celebrations that we hold today have thier roots in paganism, because we ALL have our rootsi n paganism at some point down the line. Getting together as acommunity and sharing food when it is pentiful was often a way to thank the gods for a buntiful harvest. Morning the dead was a way to ensure their spirts were at peace. I could go on.... but you get the point. JW's pick and choose what they consider "pagan origin".

Jehovah's Witnesses do not pick and choose what has Pagan origins, or not. History (and research/reference materials such as encyclopedias {and I don't mean things published by JWs}) does. We are not uninformed, or told not to research, or uneducated on the bible, or uneducated as to why Jehovah's Witnesses believe as we do. In fact, it's quite the opposite. My DSs could tell someone, at a young age, *why* they don't do certain things, but at their same age, I couldn't tell you *why* I did do those same things. If someone would've asked me as a child why I celebrate my birthday, for example, I probably would've said "I don't know, my parents give me presents because it was the day I was born". But no facts or information as to why it became tradition in the first place.

Thanks! I didn't know any of this so it has been very helpful!



I don't buy this at all and would venture to guess that this was more of a parenting choice. While I do not have any friends that are JW's, I did go to school with a dozen or so over my years and all of them had many different types of friends and socialized with them after school. Shortly before moving out of my parent's house for college, a JW family moved in across the street and their little kids were always out playing with neighborhood kids when I was home on break.

I've known Jehovah's Witnesses for 40 years, many different congregations in different states, and while some families do tend to socialize mainly with people/children within their congregation, most don't choose that.

this has not been my experience. I went to school with many JW's and have taught many over the years. The vast majority were not allowed to particiapte in after school activites or to spend time outside of school with those not of thier faith. The majority of JW children in our local congregations are homeschooled, and the whole community is very insular. They don't agree with the idea that having friends outside your own religion is acceptable, at least in all the congregations I am familiar with in the area.

I'm certainly not going to argue your experiences, and I respect the opinion that you have formed from those experiences. But kids being raised as Jehovah's Witnesses are anything but insulated from the world and all of it's diversity and issues. Again, this I know for a fact. Our literature continually contains articles pertaining to current world news and events. Our children learn right beside us, they learn the same things that we do, there are no "children's bible classes" or anything like that. My children were introduced to world events, biology, history, etc at a much higher level and a much younger age, than I was, due to the material that we studied together. I understand what you're saying when you "insular" because to an observer it probably appears that way, but it really isn't the case.

 

[JaneBanks]

There are a lot of videos on youtube that were made by ex JW's. You can hear more about their experience there if you want.


I've also had some experience. One of my friends dated a Jehovah Witness and she (and her friends) had to be kept a secret from his family.

 

[SeaSpray]

There are a lot of videos on youtube that were made by ex JW's. You can hear more about their experience there if you want.


I've also had some experience. One of my friends dated a Jehovah Witness and she (and her friends) had to be kept a secret from his family.

There are videos, web sites, etc created by former JWs, or by people who were raised as Jehovah's Witnesses and didn't like it. That's a fact.

But, everything that I have posted on this thread is also a FACT. I do not discredit anyone's firsthand experiences no matter if I agree with them or not, but please do not try to imply that what *I* am saying is not accurate or the truth.

As I have previously stated, neither of my sons have chosen to become Jehovah's Witnesses, but if you asked them about their childhoods, they would have nothing but good things to say about me and the people they know from my congregation. Parenting styles within ANY religion can vary greatly, but should not be painted with such a broad brush as to think that just because someone is bashing something, that THEY are correct.

Edited to add: Negativity gets more credence handed to it than positivity, and it is seen every day here on the DIS Boards. Check out the negative reviews about the Disney World resorts and restaurants and people start to think that that person's experience is the rule rather than the exception. When someone does give a positive review about a resort or restaurant, they're seen a "Disney" cheerleader. LOL It's human nature, I guess, to believe negativity more than something positive.

Oh, and regarding the boyfriend keeping your friend as a secret from the family, I totally believe that. (I'm not being sarcastic!).

 

[eeyoremum]

Thanks! I didn't know any of this so it has been very helpful!



I don't buy this at all and would venture to guess that this was more of a parenting choice. While I do not have any friends that are JW's, I did go to school with a dozen or so over my years and all of them had many different types of friends and socialized with them after school. Shortly before moving out of my parent's house for college, a JW family moved in across the street and their little kids were always out playing with neighborhood kids when I was home on break.

It could be a regional thing but in our area which has a very, very large JW community the children do not mix with other children at all. Occasionally they are allowed to play on the street with other children but not to go into their homes and certainly our children are not invited to visit indoors.

I also grew up with a girl who was JW and we could play together outside only. She was not allowed in my home or me in her's.

 

[SeaSpray]

Well it's dinner time, and I'm going to back off from this thread now. I said what I wanted to say and I appreciate other people's opinions and view points.

I hope that I don't get any points because I participated in this thread.

 

[penn19]

Well it's dinner time, and I'm going to back off from this thread now. I said what I wanted to say and I appreciate other people's opinions and view points.

I hope that I don't get any points because I participated in this thread.

I apologize. I misread you saying parties to mean birthday parties. My bad!

 

[willowsnn3]

Geez. My brother was married to a JW for many years. She had 2 sons, they didn't celebrate holidays. They would have a 'reward' party w/gifts sometime close to their b'day. We were close friends, just not same religion. My daughter in law is JW. She and my son have no children thank God. My daughters sister in law is JW. I love all these women, they are fun to be around. I was told they do not celebrate b'days as that every b'day celebrated in the bible involved someone getting killed......think John the Baptist.......they don't celebrate Thanksgiving because they think we should give thanks 365 days a year. Again this is what I was told by them. They also do not believe in the Trinity. That being said, the girl lives in her parents home and should wait til she is legally able to take care of herself to make her own religious decisions.

 

[Imzadi]

I made waffles once and she said that she didn't know you could make waffles? So yes she comes over for waffles a lot. I suppose we could just have a waffle day on Monday. An extra hug is allowed I think.

http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/cake-mix-waffles/2bbb7bfa-5a9b-4836-b7a9-c2a5ac1aeb66

Love the waffles idea. If this is something you already do, then just switching and serving ice cream waffles may not seem like such a drastic change. But, I wouldn't play up that it's a big deal. Today, you are going to have "dessert waffles" as a change of pace. AND you can continue to have them any other day, later, too.

For all of you that seem to think the parent's beliefs don't matter, let's slip another religion in here. What if you knew a kid's family kept kosher? And what if that kid wanted to try ham or shrimp? Would you say, "here have some and if your parents don't like it, too bad?"

While the girl is 16, she still lives at home and would be the one to deal with the ramifications of what would happen if the parents found out. I don't think any single person has the right to go against the parents' wishes or insert their parenting choices into another family.

Exactly what I was going to say. If the child was Orthodox Jewish, would you give her pork & shellfish? If you consider that disrespecting the parents' customs & beliefs, then it would be the same in this case.

The girl is not 18. She is living at home. Even if she want's to convert to a different religion, she is still living at home (and is underage.) This is one of those situations where, "As long as you live in MY house, you follow MY rules," type situations. When she is either 18 or moves out, then she can choose her own practices.

The family that keeps kosher probably isn't going to let their kid eat in your house at all.

Letting their child eat and the child going over and sneaking food are two different things. The second is what this thread is about. And the OP helping the child to eat differently than what the parents want.