The teacher should "just say no thank you", right?

[AshleyW]

Well, I'll go against the grain here and say that I think it's really rude.

Most schools have some kind of a dollar limit on gifts for teachers, whether it's a holiday present or end of the year present, so I don't see why it wouldn't apply to non-holiday gifts as well. When I was in school, teachers actually couldn't accept ANY gifts at any time - just to avoid any possible conflicts down the road.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm sure teachers here get perks like this all of the time from business owners. Heck, police officers don't even have to pay for meals! I know my gf's DH gives one of the kindergarten teachers some free Jets tickets (he has season tickets). My dd was the pet in 2nd grade, because my mom was old friends with her teacher. What a waste of a year - if she didn't want to do her math, she could read a book. She ran many errands. After that, I made sure none of my kids every had her.

 

[Boo'sMom]

Actually, I believe the bigger issue is if the school is a non-profit private school. If that is the case, the teacher must report those as gifts to the school. Gifts over a certain value must be reported.
I'm not sure of the reporting requirements for public schools.

Regardless of those facts, I would MMOB

 

[dizluvah]

OP - I agree with you - I think I would be bothered by the implication that costly show tickets are being exchanged for good grades or to curry favor with the teacher. While it is possible it is an innocent gift and does not cloud the teachers evaluation or grading of the student - if I was the teacher I would want to avoid any situation that hinted at impropriety. Because the acceptance of costly show tickets could be assumed to be improper - I would decline them. On the hand, while I question the teacher's judgement in accepting the tickets, I wouldn't put in a complaint to the teacher or the school.

Papa Deuce it is not often I come down on the same side of an issue with you, it is nice....

 

[princess momma]

Just a few days ago I was talking to a friend who teaches at my daughters school and the school district doesn't have a policy on gifts. I don't imagine there's ever been a need for one. My SIL teaches in a different school district and last year she received a gift from one of her students that I assume must have cost hundreds of dollars. Again, no policy on receiving gifts there.

If I were the teacher and I was offered the tickets I would probably turn them down out of principle, but there's no way I would stick my nose into the situation if I were the OP.

 

[focusondisney]

Even if it's not against policy, this doesn't seem professional of the teacher. The OP already said this girl is "teacher's pet". Seems to me accepting these gifts looks questionable. I'm sure other kids in the class see the tickets given too. Kids that age are sensitive & I'm sure some of them feel bad that they can't give the teacher things.

I also don't think just because business people give/ accept gifts makes it allrigt for everyone. Some professions have to have a higher standard. While there are grades given for tests, some of students grades are subjective, so teachers have to maintain this high standard. Even if just so it won't look like they play "favorites".

I would be willing to bet accepting these expensive tickets would not be OK with the school administrators.

 

[nmmom95]

Nope,She might not have any idea on what is going on behind the scenes. How do you know the teacher not sending them a check?

I'm really trying to figure out what business it is of yours?

 

[scootch]

OP - I agree with you - I think I would be bothered by the implication that costly show tickets are being exchanged for good grades or to curry favor with the teacher.

She is 6, it is first grade.... do grades really count in 1st grade, come on. I have a first grader!! I think it is great that the teacher is getting some perks. For all the put up with all year thru, the little they get paid, the amount they spend on stuff for their class out of pocket.... I think it is nice of them to offer to her. I have to agree you should just MYOB.

 

[MinnieTink]

I'm also with PD on this. I don't think I would get 'involved' but I do think the situation can be perceived as questionable. What's next? The father gets involved in finding the teacher's stolen Saturn when the kid is failing math? (sorry just kidding. Couldn't resist a Sopranos reference)

 

[sbsteel]

I'm rather bothered by the fact you find it perfectly acceptable to ask the child if she gives those specific tickets to the teacher. IMO, that's wrong - the child has nothing to do with this. If it truly bothers you that much, ask the teacher or the parent - not the kid. Neither have to answer you as it's none of your business, but at least you're not dragging a child into it.

 

[paintnolish]

I don't think it's a big deal. Like pps have said, maybe he gets them free and passes them along? I send in baked goods a few times a month to the teachers. I don't think anyone else in my children's classrooms does that. I also sent in $20 in GCs for Xmas. Not everyone sends in Xmas gifts. I know my dd is the teacher's pet, too, since she is very bright and eager to please- loves stay after to help. It isn't because of my paltry gift card amount or banana bread! Do you live in a particularly affluent area? My sister teaches in a wealthy suburb and gets Dooney and Burke purses and spa gift cards as Xmas gifts (I know you said these were random gifts, though). I am just wondering if these tickets are a rich man's version of my baked goods, kwim?

 

[greenpea89]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with it and I really don't understand why this is a big deal. I've never heard of a group of third graders that would notice or care about something like this other than to possibly want to get their teacher a gift too. Not to be mean in any way but, more along the lines of something you may want to reflect upon, maybe this is one of those situations where it's something that's bothering you more than your children?

My children attend a private school and their teachers' receive gift baskets from Tiffany's and all kinds of gift certificates and tickets to events from parents. It's never bothered me in the least. I am focused on my children and whether or not they have a good rapport with their teacher, whether they are having their educational needs met, and ensuring that they are behaving well at school. It would never occur to me to be concerned about the situation you are describing or to judge a teacher for accepting gift tickets.

 

[turkeymama]

Well, I'll go against the grain here and say that I think it's really rude.

Most schools have some kind of a dollar limit on gifts for teachers, whether it's a holiday present or end of the year present, so I don't see why it wouldn't apply to non-holiday gifts as well. When I was in school, teachers actually couldn't accept ANY gifts at any time - just to avoid any possible conflicts down the road.

/\/\/\
Yep, what she said.

I don't think I would say anything about it, but it does seem inappropriate. I will begin teaching in August of 2010, and I have to admit, I would feel uncomfortable receiving such valuable gifts from one of my parents.

A teacher in the state of Louisiana would be in violation of policy for accepting any of the gifts mentioned in OP's first post.

 

[C.Ann]

The OP already said this girl is "teacher's pet"..

Based on whose perception? The OP or his 9 yr. old DD? I can't even tell you how many times I "thought" another child was "the teachers pet" when I was in elementary school..

I'm rather bothered by the fact you find it perfectly acceptable to ask the child if she gives those specific tickets to the teacher. IMO, that's wrong - the child has nothing to do with this. If it truly bothers you that much, ask the teacher or the parent - not the kid. Neither have to answer you as it's none of your business, but at least you're not dragging a child into it.

I would find it much more upsetting that another parent was grilling my child over something that is really not the business of another parent..

 

[bubie2.5]

I would have no problem with it. Anything that would improve the life of the person that takes care of my son's education gets a big YES! in my book.

 

[ma2jr]

Yes she may have given her the tickets but what proof do you have that the teacher used them? She might just not want to refuse a gift from a child and accept them out of politeness. For all you know they could be sitting in her drawer.

 

[Minnesota!]

I would have no problem with it. Anything that would improve the life of the person that takes care of my son's education gets a big YES! in my book.

DITTO!!!!!!

We spoil our nanny and my son's teacher rotten. Not because I am trying to buy them...but because they work their butts off and deserve some recognitiion other then the measly paychecks they get. If I had tickets to pass along, I would. And I would LOVE if anoter family in my son's class did the same - spoil that teacher! She is the one handling 30+ rowdy kids for 6 - 8 hours a day.

You need to MYOB.

 

[legalsea]

I'm sure that if my parents thought it would result in better grades for me, they would have given my teachers automobiles, television sets, and cruises.

However, since they suspected that, at most, it would raise my grades from a D minus average to C minus, they did not bother.

 

[cabanafrau]

My daughters have a friend whose father works for a pro sports team. She is very bright. She seems to be a top student, I would guess. Well, her teacher is the same teacher as one of my daughter's teachers. And the teacher has a 6 year old daughter.

My kids told me last week that this girl has given the teacher tickets, so far, to see The Phillies, The Eagles, Taylor Swift and The Jonas Brothers. Two tickets to each of these events.

I drive this girl to CCD and asked the girl if she did give the teacher these tickets, and she said yes.

Now, given that this girl seems very bright, I don't imagine the teacher is giving her any help with grades. But my one daughter told me that this girl is definitely the "teacher's pet".

Personally, I like this teacher a lot, and she really likes my daughter, but this doesn't seem like it is a practice that should be accepted, do you? That's close to $800 worth of tickets just since September.

I'm not gonna rat the teacher out or anything. Nor do I think it his hurting my daughter in anyway, but IMO, it just doesn't seem fair. I would have thought that the school would have a very specific policy against this.

Is your daughter envious of this girl? Do you think your daughter would be getting more attention, accolades from the teacher if the tickets weren't involved? Any possibility that the teacher is in fact purchasing the tickets through this parent & kids have twisted it into more, it's become some kind of dramatic schoolyard tale & the girl didn't want to fess up when you asked?

You don't know what's actually going on. You say no one is getting hurt. MYOB.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Honestly? Who really cares?! So what if it isn't fair that the teacher gets to go to events that the rest of the class doesn't. Life isn't fair. I can't even imagine being so involved in someone else's business when it has no effect on my own children. As for the kid being the teacher's pet- well that happens in every class regardless of whether the parent's give gifts. Some kids just gel better with the teacher than others. I bet if you thought your kid was the teacher's pet you would be over here raving about how wonderful it was that your kid was the pet of the year. As long as your kid is treated well and has no issues I would MYOB because it really isn't any of your business anyway.
ETA- Stop questioning other people's kids. You are way out of line.