The Knot-Guest Complaints-hilarious

[WDWAurora]

http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.h...dType=2&parentID=527&HPpos=6a&HPdate=20060118

Read #21. KILLED me. A handwritten note within a week? Um, excuse me, but I have things to do on my honeymoon OTHER that write thank-yous. Most couples take week long honeymoons, so this is just insane. Any thoughts?

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Maybe her family sends the gifts a couple of months before the wedding?

 

[groomtb]

LOL @ #6

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Ok-

This may be my etiquette-and-finishing-school-southern-pageant-queen self coming out: we had our thank you notes written and sent by January 5th with a December 29th wedding. That included bridal shower thank yous done completely separately. The only ones we are still working on are the professional letters of commendation for the staff at Disney. We went to wedding in October and didn't receive a thank you not until December. Personally, that is completely unacceptable. I am grateful that they sent it, but it hardly carries the weight or sincerity of one received in a more timely manner.

We have actually received phone calls (multiple ones!) from people thanking us for writing them a thank you note. There's no reason you shouldn't be opening the gifts that arrive beforehand and writing the notes and mailing them the same day. As for gifts received at a wedding and bridal shower, they should all be done within two weeks as well. If someone has gone through the time, energy, effort, and expense to purchase you a gift, they need to know it. And they need to know it while it's fresh.

:::Steps into flame suit:::

 

[Eric-n-Ariel]

Well, I thought the Amy Vanderbilt rule was written within 2-3 weeks ideally and 6-8 at most if there are circumstances requiring it. IMO, A week is ridiculous if you're talking about a gift that was given on the day of the wedding. No one should be writing thank you notes on a honeymoon. I'm sorry, but even if my honeymoon requires a 17 hour flight... I'll find something other than thank you notes to do. It's my honeymoon... I'm going to relax.

 

[hmgolden]

Ok-

This may be my etiquette-and-finishing-school-southern-pageant-queen self coming out: we had our thank you notes written and sent by January 5th with a December 29th wedding. That included bridal shower thank yous done completely separately. The only ones we are still working on are the professional letters of commendation for the staff at Disney. We went to wedding in October and didn't receive a thank you not until December. Personally, that is completely unacceptable. I am grateful that they sent it, but it hardly carries the weight or sincerity of one received in a more timely manner.

We have actually received phone calls (multiple ones!) from people thanking us for writing them a thank you note. There's no reason you shouldn't be opening the gifts that arrive beforehand and writing the notes and mailing them the same day. As for gifts received at a wedding and bridal shower, they should all be done within two weeks as well. If someone has gone through the time, energy, effort, and expense to purchase you a gift, they need to know it. And they need to know it while it's fresh.

:::Steps into flame suit:::

Jill I agree! I have been to too many weddings in the past few years that we haven't even received a thank you for the gift gave the couple. My mother did something right when she raised me. It totally stresses me out to not have the thank yous done and out after any event I received gifts at. Granted, I did wait until after our honeymoon to write the thank yous for gifts given to us at the wedding, I think that's completly acceptable. But thank yous do need to be done in a timely manner.

 

[WDWAurora]

I'm very southern and was raised to follow all the etiquette rules to a T-but I've never heard of having to get thank yous out that quick! Ever! I looked it up to see if I was the only one, so here's what I've always heard and did:

http://www.theknot.com/ch_qaarticle...quest=THANK YOU&channel=&keyword=&subchannel=

It did not take me that long on any of them, but still-we had over 300 people at the ceremony alone, plus the gifts just delivered to the reception site. There was no way I was doing ANY on my honeymoon period. We spent all of our time hanging out together with no worries. We don't exactly get that opportunity ever again, so we enjoyed it. It also took a few days after we got back to put away all those gifts so we could live in our apartment. I would say the majority were out by the end of the second week, with all but the late gifts done by the end of the third.

I've never heard of doing it by the end of the first week though-maybe with a smaller wedding it would be easier to do it without detracting from your honeymoon, but with the number of guests/gifts we received on the day of, it definitely would have taken away from our time together. The funny thing is that we were complimented on how quickly ours were out!

 

[minkydog]

Ok-

This may be my etiquette-and-finishing-school-southern-pageant-queen self coming out: we had our thank you notes written and sent by January 5th with a December 29th wedding. That included bridal shower thank yous done completely separately. The only ones we are still working on are the professional letters of commendation for the staff at Disney. We went to wedding in October and didn't receive a thank you not until December. Personally, that is completely unacceptable. I am grateful that they sent it, but it hardly carries the weight or sincerity of one received in a more timely manner.

We have actually received phone calls (multiple ones!) from people thanking us for writing them a thank you note. There's no reason you shouldn't be opening the gifts that arrive beforehand and writing the notes and mailing them the same day. As for gifts received at a wedding and bridal shower, they should all be done within two weeks as well. If someone has gone through the time, energy, effort, and expense to purchase you a gift, they need to know it. And they need to know it while it's fresh.

:::Steps into flame suit:::

No flames here. Thank you notes are my special pet peeve. I sent mine out within two weeks of recieving each gift, even though I was in the middle of student teaching my senior year, working 24hrs a week at the local hospital, and newly married. People who can't find time to thank the giver properly don't deserve another moment of their time. It only takes a few minutes to write a thank you note.

 

[hiwaygal]

It took me awhile to send mine out...but there is a reason.

First, not too many people knew about our plans. So, about two to three weeks after we got back, we made announcements with a photo of us (getting "married" by Goofy) and sent them to everyone. We weren't expecting gifts, just wanted to share our happiness.

For my parents, brother and SIL, and my co-workers (who knew about the wedding and gave us gifts before we left) when I made the announcements, I made thank-you's for them. So they got theirs within a few weeks.

A few family members sent gifts (some arrived with holiday cards) and I finally sent those thank-yous out about two weeks ago...quite a while after our September wedding.

 

[JandJ]

we made announcements with a photo of us (getting "married" by Goofy) and sent them to everyone. We weren't expecting gifts, just wanted to share our happiness.

A few family members sent gifts (some arrived with holiday cards) and I finally sent those thank-yous out about two weeks ago...quite a while after our September wedding.

Sort of same thing here, we made announcements and had a friend mail them from Orlando the day after the Intimate wedding, and we did it just to announce our marriage, but some people sent gifts. We were getting wedding gifts 2 months later with holiday cards too! I did thank-you notes within 2 days because I like to get a nice thank-you note myself. I did my shower thank-yous within a few days and my co-workers threw me a separate surprise shower and I had their notes on their desks the next morning.

I see it as something that needs to be done and I like to just get stuff over with! I have a friend who wrote all of hers out (200 guests) on the plane rides to and from their honeymoon and I guess if you have a long plane ride and nothing else to do . . .

 

[Codie]

I have a pet peeve with thank yous also...although I do think a week is extreme. I was in a wedding during my first semester of law school (also known as my years of having NO money) and I made the most expensive wedding gift I had ever given to that point for the couple. The husband had flown down to a vacation in the caymans that my girlfriend (the wife) and I were on so that he could surprise us and propose to her. I managed to get pictures of the pier that he surprised her on and I blew it up to over the sofa size and had it professionally framed. I NEVER EVER received a thank you for it.
I've always been upset by that. For our wedding, I set a standard that I couldn't cash a check or deposit cash until the thank you was written. I wrote all of my disney thank yous in Disney! I know--insane! But my husband FINALLY decided to try the habit of reading, and found that he liked it and I finished my book before him, so I wrote out the thank yous. I had all the wedding thank yous (for gifts received at the wedding) within the three weeks following and the last week was for people that I needed clarification on who they were (some of my dh's relatives) and what their addresses were...