Should be meetings on board, don't ya think, right after friends of Bill W, they could have friends of Walt D, and the meetings would go something like this:
Hi, my name is Logan, and I'm a DISaholic (everyone: Hi Logan); I lost my job because I spent more time at DIS than doing my job, I would sneak to the basement with my laptop after my DW was asleep to check out the boards, I would miss my DS's baseball games to post at DIS. For a month now, I've just told myself each morning that I am not going to log on that day. Just one day to focus on my job, listen to what DW is saying, try to remember DS's name and what grade he is in. And then the next morning I try again, for one day. (everyone claps, three women in lime green wipe tears from their eyes, and a dead-head looking 60's throw-back sort of a fellow in a rebellious "Give Me Shirley's Basket or Give Me Death" t-shirt gives Logan a hug, and they sob together)....toward the end of the meeting, the gathered DIS junkies stand together and recite "God grant me the strength not to go to the DISboards as a form of social activity because it is really anti-social to those in my real life, the serenity to go easy on myself when I find I have a legitimate, non trivial, genuine question and do log on, and the wisdom to know the difference". Handshakes are exchanged, a couple hugs, and as we head out the door a man with a lime green ribbon on his shirt says "there'll be another meeting tonight right after the Golden Mickeys late show"....and then four of the attendees put on dark glasses, hats, one even ducks into a mens room and changes shirts...and they all take various routes to the internet cafe where they log on and post about the meeting at the DIS board for
DCL...keeping their heads down, hoping no one will notice them, and telling their DW's, DH's, and DD's and DS's lies about where they are....
The Centers For Disease Control soon get Federal funding to study the impact on society of DIS addiction....an issue that fairly or unfairly gets thrown in Jeb Bush's face, since the ships are,with the summer of '05 exception, sailing out of port from his home state...and Jeb responds to his fellow '08 presidential debater for the GOP nomination "That's easy for you to say, Senator, there are no cruise ships in Arizona...you know, I just saw a posting on the board..." The room is silent, as Gov. Bush stops, and realizes that he has just admitted his addiction in mid debate. On Larry King that night, Al Gore says that he was curious and logged on a few times just to see what it was all about. Pres. Bush's spokesman insists that he never logged on when he was in the Texas Air National Guards, and Dan Rather, from his retirement home, produces documents that purport to show records of a "GWB YalieFromTex" posting on the DIS board during the time W was supposed to have been reporting for Duty in Alabama, in spite of the fact that DCL and indeed the internet itself did not exist until decades later...Bill Clinton says that he logged on but never posted....
Oh, the ugliness of it all.
Now 'scuse this here junkie while I finish laying out my CC polo shirt, CC t shirt, WDW tshirt, lime green DIS shirt, stuffed mickey, two
castaway club towels, and AK water bottle strap for next week's cruise...