Straight? girls

[prgirl]

I have a question: what's happening with straight woman and lesbians?. Let me explain, in my workplace I am the only lesbian (that I know of, there should be someone else in the closet) and suddenly woman (married ones included) are all over me. I don't mean everybody but enough to get me scared. I am always very careful of how I treat women because I don't want any misunderstanding, but it's the other way around. It's not in my mind because some of them have made very obvious moves or have spoken about having a fling. Is it very common for them to have lesbian fantasies or something like that because I don't understand. If this has happen to any of you please share. Straight girls are welcome to give an opinion!

 

[rhiannonwales]

Well you know the saying, "most girls are straight, until theyre not"
It's probably any number of factors. I think that on some level its something that crosses the minds of almost everyone at some point in their life. You also have to consider that while its by no means 100% accepted, its a heck of a lot more acceptable today to be bi or at least curious.

And in todays society, its impossible to asssume that just because someone is married that they must be straight. I should know, i'm married AND a lesbian. Some women just don't have the courage to tell their spouses. Some enjoy having het privelige. Some feel trapped and don't know how to get out. (me)

There was an interesting article about it in Curve a few months back. LOL I was actually in it. But it raises some interesting points, about how things have changed and yet havent.
Sherrie

 

[prgirl]

Beautiful kids you have, I sure would like to have one someday. Thanks for your reply and if I may say , be true to yourself and eventually to everyone around you. At the beggining it will be hard and maybe painful but later on you"ll be glad to be honest and open about it. Don't worry about the kids, teach them to care for everybody. Thanks and good luck

 

[rhiannonwales]

Thank you i think they're cute too but naturally i'm biased. I'm very lucky (or unlucky depending how you look at it) in that my spouse knows and is supportive, and the poeple i love (mom, sis) all know too. I sometimes wish that H was less supportive so i could have a reason to go. He is a good guy and deserves to be happy. I'm just too much of a chicken to be the one who breaks his heart and our home. I will be ready someday, just have to keep hanging on until then.
I wanted to also say thanks to all who have responded and sent PM of support. Its often very hard being an double outsider - an outsider to the het community and sometimes an outsider in the LGBT as well.
Sherrie

 

[Saxton]

It's actually happening to me right now. A coworker is quite physical with me and I'm definitely not the 'touchy-feely' type ... especially at work! And since I'm management I am quite conservative at work, I may kid around with people but never about anything personal. She hugs me, puts her arm around me and tends to be closer than most others. I mentioned it to someone else, assuming that she is like that with everyone, but no - it's just me. She's recently engaged so that may be part of it, she may be feeling nervous about her future.

Someone that I know is a lesbian but she's married and she stays married out of fear - fear of change, fear of the effect on her kids, fear of being alone, fear of everything. She walks a tightrope, trying to maintain her family life and yet longing to be free. Society puts tremendous pressure on women (and men) to get married, have kids and live the traditional life. This woman married to make her mother happy ... her mother was seriously ill and wanted to make sure she "had a husband to take care of her". Once someone is married everything becomes harder but the feelings don't end. So, they wonder what they are missing. Your coworkers could be in that situation or they could just be curious and having some fun.

 

[Saxton]

Sherrie - your kids are absolutely adorable. The pictures look like those perfect ones that come with frames! I know you've got a hard road to follow and I hope it all goes well for you.

 

[rhiannonwales]

Sue,
Thanks. Their father is a photographer so we really have no bad photos of the kids, lol.
And what you described about your friend really rings true. It is a very high tightrope to walk. Thanks for your support.
Sherrie

 

[prgirl]

I believe indeed you are in a tighrope, but, sorry to say this, in my opinion if people around you were to be supportive with you they would understand your reality and would not keep you the way you are, trapped. Being supportive is easy if they don't help you to find your own way. It seems to me is a safe way to make you feel guilty so you would never move on. I feel really sorry for your situation and hope someday you"ll find the courage to live your life truly and freely. Try to catch your happiness, before it's too late!!

 

[catpaws007]

I recently came out to my workplace! It started when i told one person, then the next.. then they told someone... then everyone knew!! Alot of people didn't/don't beleive it. Its pretty interesting to see the looks on thier faces when I tell them.. I too, seem to feel that people are flirting with me more often, women, even married ones!! Its so fun to feel that.. I am not a touchy feely person ( with strangers, or anyone, except my lover of course) Especially because I always had guilt that I liked women and didn't want anyone thinking I was hitting on "them" There wasn't any negative responses to my "coming out" at least to my face. But if I got any weird responses, I would say...

" Yes, i'm a lesbian, and just because I am, It doesnt mean I am interested in YOU, so don't flatter yourself..! LOL
My girlfriend, indeed is prettier then every woman I work with, and much more successful... buisness wise, and she volunteers for so much, 95% of her every day life is volunteering, American Cancer Society.. education.. ect.. I am so proud of her..!

We recently discussed children, I am so very happy with my life and wouldnt change it for anything!! We are gonig to Disney for Christmas, going to Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom, She has never been to Animal Kingdom, I cant wait to take her!

 

[dementia412]

Well from a hetro female here I can say I and many of the women I've known have had those leanings. It's a fun idea to play around with, and if I was not very happily married I could see myself having a les fling (my dh would just love hearing that, the pervert ). Most of them probably think it's "safe" to flirt with you because 1. their husband isn't gonna be upset, and 2. you know they are just flirting (even if you don't know that for sure) so won't take them too seriously. There might be one person at the office willing to go further, but with all the flirting it may be immpossible for you to ever know which one it is. Have fun with it....
? are the guys flirting with you more too? For some reason men have these huge fantasies about lesbians!

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

Well here's the opinion from the weird straight girl...

So I have always had this theory that no person can have a friend of the opposite sex (or sexual prefrence) without at least ONCE thinking about a relationship happening, even for a brief moment. Perhaps this bizarre theory holds true for your coworkers. They learn about your orientation and feel the need to humor my theory...

Ok...so maybe not...but that was the best advice and perspective that I could give after having being awake for 16 and a half hours!

Good luck with this!

 

[prgirl]

Well I believe some of the guys know about me, but they don't care, they still hit on me, maybe it's that weird thing they have with lesbians I don't know!. I enjoy it, anyway, but that thing with women I was before trying to enjoy it , but they've been jealous from one another like if I was going to be with everyone. They think that just because I like women, I have to like EVERY women. . Thanks to the straight girls for trying to explain me, it's been helpful and if I may say you would have fun here "on the other side".

 

[prgirl]

Well I believe some of the guys know about me, but they don't care, they still hit on me, maybe it's that weird thing they have with lesbians I don't know!. I enjoy it, anyway, but that thing with women I was before trying to enjoy it , but they've been jealous from one another like if I was going to be with everyone. They think that just because I like women, I have to like EVERY women. . Thanks to the straight girls for trying to explain me, it's been helpful and if I may say you would have fun here "on the other side".

 

[Bronte]

This is just my personal option but here it goes.
I think it is because most people crave intimacy so much and that our society just does not allow it … you just can not hold hands, kiss, cuddle or whatever whenever you want and it does not matter who you are society puts limits on us all. It is like people what to be close but they can’t and that is really sad.
Therefore, when someone says or is thought to be saying that they are "open" to intimacy then everyone wants in on that because it is a chance at the intimacy that we all desperately crave.

 

[TheBeadPirate]

OK, and one more opinion added to the mix! Hey, I'm Lori and I'm in the cross-over, married to my best friend and still interested in beautiful women (almost every woman is beautiful without judgement). With the increase in high visible, high power lesbians it only stands to follow that there'd be more interest. From women who want to understand, or are curious, etc. Men too. Are they really like L Word, or Workout, or Ellen... You get the point. That may or may not be a bad thing. More invasive for you I'd guess (duh!) but now at least people are thinking beyond a label and putting a face they know with what before they may not have.

Then again I could be way off base too. You never know.....I think I'm mental. Never played at being an expert...opionated yes, expert no. LOL

 

[LindaBabe]

I'm married, and old now. Must admit to being attracted to lesbian women - because most every one I've met is ALIVE behind the eyes - interesting, engaged, involved and not phoney in an attempt to attract men - just busy being THEMSELVES!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I'm a straight girl, married for almost 14 years to my sweet DH. I have one close friend who is a lesbian (we've been friends for 17 years), and I am acquainted with a dozen or so lesbians through AIDS charities that I volunteer with. I honestly don't think I have ever flirted with any of them! I don't think of the lesbian women I know any differently than the straight women I know, and I don't flirt with ANY of them! (Gay men, now THOSE are a different story! I'll flirt with them all day! )

I don't know what the deal is with your co-workers. Maybe in their attempts to be welcoming/supportive/accepting they have stumbled over into flirtatious? Kind of strange. And I don't think I have ever heard that particular complaint from any of my lesbain friends before. Odd group you have there! I would probably just ignore it if you can, and file a complaint with HR if someone is getting out of hand. Good luck!

 

[Sparx]

I'm married, and old now. Must admit to being attracted to lesbian women - because most every one I've met is ALIVE behind the eyes - interesting, engaged, involved and not phoney in an attempt to attract men - just busy being THEMSELVES!

I have many lesbian friends, and I have to say I totally agree with the "alive behind the eyes" statement. So very true.

 

[Race the Reaper]

I have a coworker and close friend who is a "lipstick" lesbian. She flirts a lot with other men but not with women. She brings her SO to our parties. You would never know they were lesbians just to see them and talk to them.