Step-Daughter Problem

[tinah159]

Hello everyone. I am usually on the camping board but lately I have been reading posts over here. My husbands 11 1/2 year old DD is with us for the summer. I am really concerned about her preoccupation with her health. Her mother takes her ( and her 5 year old sister) to the doctor constantly. The lastest has been a x-ray and blood work up of her sinuses. Anytime she is worried or upset about something she wont eat because she says her sinuses are draining and making her ill. The doctor has assured her and her mom that she is fine. Now they are going to an allergist for further evaluation. There is nothing wrong with this child. This has been going on since she was about 5 years old. I am wondering if her dad and I should make an appointment with the doctor and discuss this with him? Last night I had to leave work because I had a sudden onset of high blood pressure. Once at home, DD was crying to go back to her mom because she did not want to catch my "illness". My kids are all adults and I have never dealt with anything like this before. Any advice or ideas?

 

[NikiM20]

All I can tell you is kids that age are drama queens
DD10 was getting into the pool yesterday and her foot fell between the step and the pool. She gets in the pool and starts doing flips and handstands. She then tells me later she broke her ankle and needed to go to the ER I told her she was fine and she told me I was the worst mom ever and I didnt even care if she would never walk again
DD is always "sick" or her "stomach hurts" or her "head hurts" If I took her to the dr everytime she was sick I would be broke

Good Luck!!

 

[dismom2]

There may or may not be something wrong with her. I've had issues that took years and many doctors to correctly diagnose, so don't automatically not believe her that she doesn't feel well.

On the other hand, it could also be a case of a hypochondriac (sp) rubbing off on her kid(s). I have a relative who is a huge hypochondriac, and now that her kids are older, they are the exact same way. Everything is blown way out of proportion.

You first need to determine which it is. It may be a good decision to take her to a doctor of your choosing and discuss things further. Again, there may be some truth to her not feeling well...could be physical, emotional, or both. Don't write it off yet.

 

[froggygrrrl]

Does this issue originate with your stepdaughter? Or is it something that has been instilled in her by her mom or someone else (like Munchausen syndrome or something)?

 

[tinah159]

The issue seems to have come from her mother. I know kids are sometimes drama queens but this interfers with her everyday life. I am really concerned. We see her quite often and I have never seen her ill. It really seems to be her imagination. I might need to add that the mom had her to a therapist for quite awhile because she was "angry" after her parents divorced. She was 4 at the time. When asked, she does not remember her parents living togather but is angry at her dad for the divorce.

 

[shortbun]

My son is almost 14. The girls in his class have been drama queens since 2nd grade in the worst way. Your step daughter is way old enough to know the difference between contagious and non contagious health issues. If there's nothing wrong with her just make a sympathetic noise and ignore her. Not all doctors are good at diagnostics. My nephew's doc missed severe gastro problems for two years-'there's nothing wrong with him" as well as saying the same thing when the child was clearly exhibiting signs of a learning disorder which has now been diagnosed as autism. My point is this: just because the peds doc says he sees no problem doesn't mean there isn't one. Be supportive and allow the parents to direct the medical issues. You could be wrong and the ENT or Allergist might find something.Tell her to drink lots of water to keep herself as healthy as possible (water is a well known assist with sinus and allergy issues) and let her mom and dad direct her health issues. Is she on any over the counter allergy meds-zyrtec or claritan? Also, dairy makes allergies worse. Suggest she stay away from all dairy for a while(30 days) and see what happens. These are things the allergist might be interested in knowing anyway.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Have you ever had allergies or sinus problems? They make you feel ill and it really sucks.

Does she take allergy meds? Both my dd's are on Claritin. Without it they will feel "sick".

Does she have dark circles under her eyes or a red rim on her lower eyelid. It is very faint. If she has those, let me tell you it is a miserable thing to get a handle on.

I did not get a handle on mine until I was in my 30's.

Finally saw an ENT/Allergist and got shots for 6 yrs. In my 40's, found out reflux was part of the problem.

Now I will say that my oldest who is 18, always felt "sick". Guess what...we FINALLY figured out it was her gallbladder!!!! She had it out at 16.

 

[Christine]

I would not immediately dismiss that there's nothing wrong with her. I've had sinus issues before and nothing ever showed up on a CT of my sinuses. That will only show if you have a blockage or total impaction of the sinuses. It's not really going to show allergy drainage.

As for the the "contagious" issue, she may or may not be old enough to under stand what is catching and what is not. I don't think either of my kids (and they are older) are all that knowledgeable on what is an infectious illness and what is a chronic health condition. And I, their mother, and pretty medically savvy. Apparantly, it hasn't rubbed off.

And then of course, you know there are germaphobes in this world. You only have to read the DIS germaphobe/illness threads a few times to realize that people freaked out about germs and influenza are not that rare! I think with all the swine flu crap going around, the MRSA issues, and stuff, many people are in hyper mode over germs. Her mom could be that way (doesn't necessarily mean she's an absolute nut) and she is passing her fears on to her child.