Spouse is anti-Disney

[MouseFan71]

Ok, maybe anti-Disney is harsh but DH certainly doesn't appreciate it as much as I do. I think it's more parting with the money every year, than an actual dislike for Disney, when we're there he always has a good time. My children and I just love WDW and want to make it an annual tradition, every time I mention to my DH that it's time to start planning, he rolls his eyes, does a heavy sigh and says "again, we'll have to see" and then the month long argument begins. I always win the battle so I just don't understand why he insists on fighting it year after year. I really feel a DVC would be a great purchase for our family of 5 but OMG - if I even mention it the daggers come out and forget about the Disney Cruise I'd like to try for the first time next year, we'd be in divorce court if I chose to press the issue. We do pretty well financially with only our mortgage and one car lease as debt. It would just be nice for once to feel like he wanted to go and wanted to plan - instead I feel like I have to fight tooth and nail. When he finally does give in - all the fun of planning has been sucked out of the process and I just feel icky about the whole thing. Can anyone else sympathize?

 

[kokomos]

My dh is the same way. He doesn't care for Disney too much but has a good time but he prefers a more relaxing vacation like cruising or to the mountains.
I use his family and friends to get my way. Last trip I invited his sister and neices who he rarely sees, so he got excited about the planning. This year I invited his best friend and family. Any plans Ive made may go out the window on that. Those two will probally be found at Epcot ( which dh usually hates) drinking around the world or ESPN the intire trip but hes looking forward to it.
When I invite someone I pay for thier room and tickets. they pay for food and spending money.

We did look at and discuss the DVC but it just doesnt make since to us when you can always rent points you need for about the price of taxes each year alone.

I did see where Dh was checking on a Disney cruise for next year. He was going to surprise us with it. I told him no thanks. We can do 3 cruises on another line or go to Disney twice for what disney cruises cost.

I guess hes not anti disney but he sure doesnt like it the way I do.

 

[PrincessTigerLily]

MouseFan71, I'm sorry he doesn't "get it". I think that must be the hardest thing for us, those "in the know", to have someone, especially your DH, who does not. It has taken me 13 years, but finally my DH is getting it. I understand how that must suck all the fun out of the planning. Maybe you can find something he will really enjoy? Golfing, or maybe the Richard Petty driving experience? Good luck, and above all, it is your happy time, enjoy your planning and trip!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

My husband doesn't get it either. He went when he was 13 (and because of family issues had a HORRIBLE time), when my DD was 3 (and he absolutely loved it) and again when she was 9 (he had an okay time). When I mentioned going when DD was 10 he politely told me it wasn't for him. To a degree I can see why -- he really doesn't like rides and spent most of our previous vacation holding my and DD's bags while we rode the rides. So guess what -- we went without him! We had a great time and didn't have to see his mopey, pouty face! In his defense, we also have a yellow Lab that needs to be sent to a kennel when we go, and that's quiet another expense. So DD and I have figured out that this is "our" thing. We're going again this year in August with my mom and can't wait! Disney isn't for everyone, but I also won't let that stop me!

 

[MiniGirl]

Ok, maybe anti-Disney is harsh but DH certainly doesn't appreciate it as much as I do. I think it's more parting with the money every year, than an actual dislike for Disney, when we're there he always has a good time. My children and I just love WDW and want to make it an annual tradition, every time I mention to my DH that it's time to start planning, he rolls his eyes, does a heavy sigh and says "again, we'll have to see" and then the month long argument begins. I always win the battle so I just don't understand why he insists on fighting it year after year. I really feel a DVC would be a great purchase for our family of 5 but OMG - if I even mention it the daggers come out and forget about the Disney Cruise I'd like to try for the first time next year, we'd be in divorce court if I chose to press the issue. We do pretty well financially with only our mortgage and one car lease as debt. It would just be nice for once to feel like he wanted to go and wanted to plan - instead I feel like I have to fight tooth and nail. When he finally does give in - all the fun of planning has been sucked out of the process and I just feel icky about the whole thing. Can anyone else sympathize?

So, go without him. It'll be cheaper as a family of four anyway. If you make it a shorter trip, you can probably afford another short vacation during the year that he will enjoy.

I'll probably get flamed for this, but here goes...... It is his vacation, too, and I think his desires should be considered -- at least every other year or so anyway. I am assuming he works and his earnings are paying (or helping to pay) for these annual vacations. I don't think that is unreasonable -- especially is another trip to WDW starts an annual month long argument.

My dh doesn't care for Disney either, so my girls and I take several weekend trips there during the year and leave him at home. He will come occassionally and does enjoy it (or at least pretends to for me and the girls), but we take it easy on those trips because he just doesn't care for the parks.

 

[JeremyGNJ]

What a bunch of selfish.....

Not everyone likes the same stuff you know. It might not be that your husbands "dont get it", they just might prefer other things.

how about suggesting something different on alternating years, or.....*gasp*.....letting him pick the place, even if it's not your ideal vacation!

 

[Snow Shoe]

I'm sorry to hear that your DH just doesn't get Disney. I am a DH that does get it, and does all of the Disney trip planning for the family. Our family has been going every year since 86' with our boys at that time ages 5 and 8. In 89', we add our third child, a girl, to the trip. In 98' we bought into DVC at BoardWalk Villas and it has been wonderful. This past Christmas, we had a grand villa at BWV and all of the familys were there. For one grandson it was his first trip, he was a month old at the time, and the other grandson it was his 3rd trip he was 4 at the time. Watching the oldest grandson get so excited about rides, the characters, and just being there was wonderful!!! Again I'm sorry that your DH's just don't get it. They are missing out on some wonderful memories of a lifetime with their children and you.

I just retired back in Janruary after teaching for many years. It is now my wife's and my turn to visit Disney by our selves. We're going to DL first for a week and the off to WDW for two weeks. This will be a brand new experience for the both of us....vacationaing without kids. I couldn't imagin a better place to vacation then with my life long best friend!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

What a bunch of selfish.....

Not everyone likes the same stuff you know. It might not be that your husbands "dont get it", they just might prefer other things.

how about suggesting something different on alternating years, or.....*gasp*.....letting him pick the place, even if it's not your ideal vacation!

FYI Jeremy: I know your post was directed at me personally, but we have a house in the Poconos because that's my husband's "thing". I "don't get it", but he has his house in the mountains, so I'm more than entitled to my Disney time and believe me, it costs a heck of a lot more than my trips to Disney. We go to Disney without him, just like he sometimes goes to the Poconos without us. It keeps everyone happy. My husband is also the type who actually doesn't like going ANYWHERE on vacation, but that's not going to keep me sitting home for the next 50 years just because he doesn't like it.

 

[DisneyFed]

Sorry he doesn't get it I get it....I got to take my wife for her first trip (I had been 20 years earlier, so it was pretty much a first for me as well), and I loved seeing her face light up when she hit Main Street---then I had to hold her back when she saw Mickey at the big top....this was only a few years ago...

Now, I'm 34, she's 32 and DS is 3 months....I'm home in a couple of weeks (Iraq), then switching agencies, so we're probably headed back in December, and neither one of us can contain ourselves when we talk about it

DS isn't going though, we don't think.....

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

mine isnt "big" on going to wdw every year & we got married there!!!

I totally know why..he wants to see other places & Im cool with that

if i want to go & he doesnt, i would consider a mini trip with out him & he can do a mini trip somewhere else himself...its good to get away once in awhile & also get away from each other.

 

[PrincessTigerLily]

This is a friendly, family community, and we all have opinions. Yes, someone is asking for advice and feedback and you are entiltled to have your opinion. But resorting to name-calling and being purposefully rude is certainly not necessary.

 

[frtchr]

This will be a brand new experience for the both of us....vacationaing without kids. I couldn't imagin a better place to vacation then with my life long best friend!

Oooh, that is so sweet!! Your wife is a lucky woman.

 

[Dallas_Lady]

A spouse that is anit-Disney? I think Tammy Wynette sang a song that would be my answer to that problem

 

[Darcy03231]

My DH hates Disney. We've compromised. I take the kids when I want to go and he goes somewhere where he wants to go (usually a kayaking/camping/fishing trip - which I would hate). This way everyone is happy. He and I go away without the kids somewhere also during the year (usually a cruise which we both enjoy).

 

[JB2K]

This is a friendly, family community, and we all have opinions. Yes, someone is asking for advice and feedback and you are entiltled to have your opinion. But resorting to name-calling and being purposefully rude is certainly not necessary.

He did make a point (though his presentation may be a little askew)...

Before I make my comment, I'll put this out there - I am a married male - been going to Disney parks for 30 years, and I have a good time, there. Always have, always will...

However, not everyone is into the Disney thing -- some view the Walt Disney Co. as this corporate giant that seems to suck your wallet dry while you're on vacation, while others just don't consider long lines, amusement park food (CS), and schlepping family and stuff from rope-drop 'til fireworks their idea of "relaxation".

For the marrieds who are complaining about their non-Disney loving spouses, did any of this ever come-up in conversation before you got married?

While this should not be a "deal breaker" in love and marriage, it could present some obstacles when enjoying "family time" together.

Though I like Disney, I am somewhat inclined to agree with the OP's husband -- he does work hard for his vacation, every year, and quite honestly, doing Disney in a week can be a lot of work, in itself.

My best suggestion would be to compromise -- have the husband join you at Disney on alternating years. Make it "his" special time, too by letting him take-in some Spring Training games, or maybe "The Richard Petty Experience", or whatever trips his trigger...

Someone just mentioned camping -- Fort Wilderness is an excellent "happy place in the middle" -- hubby gets to relax and enjoy the great outdoors, and the rest can go to the parks...

 

[RMulieri]

My Dh flat out despises Disney and all things disney.He even threw the mother of all fits when we had DD4 4 yrs ago and I decorated the nursery in winnie the Pooh.I backed off for years( went without him etc)..now that dd4 wants to go, he is all for it.He even let his brother talk him into possibly purchasing DVC...go figure. I let him choose the resort and most of the restaurants, so maybe I converted him

 

[allison443]

I'll probably get flamed for this, but here goes...... It is his vacation, too, and I think his desires should be considered -- at least every other year or so anyway. I am assuming he works and his earnings are paying (or helping to pay) for these annual vacations. I don't think that is unreasonable -- especially is another trip to WDW starts an annual month long argument.

I have to say I agree with you! Communication and compromise can go a long way!

 

[MouseFan71]

What a bunch of selfish.....

Not everyone likes the same stuff you know. It might not be that your husbands "dont get it", they just might prefer other things.

how about suggesting something different on alternating years, or.....*gasp*.....letting him pick the place, even if it's not your ideal vacation!

JeremyGNJ, I want to personally thank you for your post, it made me realize that things really could be worse....I could be married to you. I do not see myself as selfish at all, I'm the mother of three beautiful children- one of whom is adopted from a third world country, I gave up my career at the request of my husband to be a stay at home mother, I volunteer at my church and in my community to help those less fortunate. But I'm sure you knew all that, it would seem by reading your post that you think you know me pretty well. I would caution you on making assumptions about people you've never met and based on your lack of class, I don't believe we travel in the same circles, which hopefully means, we never will meet.
Thank you to everyone else, even those of you who don't see my side, for offering suggestions in a mature and polite manner.

 

[Frankiesmom]

that Jeremy... don't pay any attention to his posts! He always has to chime in with some less-than-nice comment!
Amy; don't sweat the anti-disney thing! My DH really enjoys it once a year; and then after that he says we need an adult vaca- so we'll take a cruise just the 2 of us. We did go too WDW in 2006 for our anniv just the 2 of us and we had a blast!!!! But I felt soooo guilty going to disney without the kids. So it's royal carribean for us when we're alone; and I don't mind @ all!

 

[Harvest02]

WOW!!! Do I know how you feel, OP!!! My DH DESPISES anything Disney. I always plan the trips, and he just gripes and moans about how much money it costs, why do I like it so much(well...duh!!!!), why do we have to go, etc? We have been a few times with the kids, and my DH and I went there for our honeymoon(so don't know why he is not a fan!). Anyway, I think the next time I plan a trip, which will be a few years since I have college costs right now, then I will take the kids by myself. Like many others on here, I want to have a good time and feel like it is a magical vacation, so I will leave him at home!