spoil the Magic? how old?

[lilallybean]

This is my very first thread to start. I am so excited!
Was wondering, how old were your DD and/or DS when you told them about Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy? Got an 8 1/2 year old that we are thinking about having that lil talk to. Would rather he found out from us than some mean lil kid at school. Any suggestions?

 

[OHIO VIKING]

We have three boys and our first , 17years now, figured it out in 2nd grade at Xmas but didn't ask for confirmation until after( he says he was worried about the present quota if he called us on it). OUr second boy is 9 years now and in third grade. We had the talk with him because alot of his friends don't believe but he still doesn't believe us. He has a very active imagination and prefers to believe in Santa etc. so we aren't pushing the issue. Our third boy is 6 and we went to an Easter party this weekend and he is already announcing that that isn't the bunny but just a guy in a suit. He is the same one who when at Universal 3 years ago upon meeting Spongebob he told us he wasn't real because he pinched his suit on the corner and he didn't feel it, pretty cynical for a 3 year old. So I guess my answer is each child is different but we take our lead from them. Hope that doesn't confuse the issue for you more.

 

[sanilacjack]

My Mom always said that "As long as you believe, there will always be presents". Heck! I'm 33 and still believe!!!!
-Kim

 

[Memaw2Wm]

Originally posted by sanilacjack
My Mom always said that "As long as you believe, there will always be presents". Heck! I'm 33 and still believe!!!!
-Kim

This is what we told my kids ... stop beleiving in Santa and he'll stop filling your stocking and bringing you a gift.

Our kids were told Santa filled their stocking and bought one "medium-sized" gift and Mom and Dad gave them the rest ... this was to keep them from asking for outrageously expensive gifts from Santa.

My daughter is 27 and still expects a stocking from Santa each Christmas ... I didn't make her one two years ago and boy oh boy did I catch #*%*!

Cheryl

 

[Jordan's MOM]

They will let you know when they want to know the truth. Our DS never really belived in the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny. He declaired that "impossible" at 4. He however fully belived in Santa. Go figure. He however had it figured out about Santa by 2nd grade but we never really had that talk until this year. Even though he had pretty much given up the belife, we all still played along and he has always gotten pretty much what he wanted from Santa.His best friend however comes from a family where money is quite tight and Christmas is much smaller in the Santa department. With out thinking DS asked his friend why he didn't just ask Santa for whatever he wanted. We felt that was the time to lay it all out. DS now 10 said" I have know all that forever but I really didn't want you to say it out loud." "I liked when we all "belived"." We assured him that the Easter bunny, Santa and the tooth fairy would still come to our house!!!

Jordan's mom

 

[JetMom]

My oldest DH is 10 and is now in the 5th grade. Last summer, when he was away at Scout camp, he and a friend (who is 3 weeks older) got into a huge fight with anothr boy who said that there was no such thing as Santa. My son and his friend KNEW that santa was real and they weren't letting any kid tell them differently.

 

[lilallybean]

You know how the old saying "This hurts me more than it hurts you" Well I think it will really be true when I tell THE secret. I hate to take it from him, but at the same time I really think it would be best if he just heard it from us. I can't even begin to imagine how bad he would feel if some other kid told him and he argued with them about it to only find out the truth and look like a "baby". Why don't these lil folks come with an instruction book!

 

[disneydreamerinny]

My 1st DD will be 12 next month, and has just recently asked me about Santa.
I told her Santa lives in our hearts and she will always feel him that time of year, but mom and dad do help with the gifts.
My 2nd DD is 9 and hasnt even questioned me yet.
Thank goodness.
She has however asked me about the characters at DW if they are in costumes or not.
I have changed the subject each time. I know, not a great thing to do, but I'm not ready to spoil it yet.

 

[Luvinit]

Why tell your kids anything???...This is one of those questions that we get to answer with another question...

Just throw the answer right back at them with another question. I don't dread the day of telling them the truth...one day they will hopefully have their own children and then they will figure the truth out. I honestly would never want to ruin the MAGIC for anyone. Thats why they call it BELIEVING...I never want my kids to stop believing!!!

My 10yrDS loves to razz me though...I won't tell him about the TF and last week I forgot the $$ under my daughters pillow. Than my DH just told us that he wasnt going to be here for Easter b/c of work...my son's answer was GREAT, mom can't remember to put $$$ under the pillow how is she ever going to remember to do Easter Baskets...LOL

 

[Earstou]

We told our 10 yr old ds a few months ago about Santa. He is adhd and the other kids sometimes pick on him. I could see this as a potential problem, and that was why we told him. We never told our older dd, she figured it out on her own and verified it with us.
It's funny, because at age 4 my son said Santa was just a guy in a suit, but the last 3 years, he had really gotten into the Santa thing.
Last week he looked at me and said, "Okay, are you guys the easter bunny, too?".
Then later he asked if his 18 yr old sister knew the truth! lol!

 

[TandyR]

My parents never told me that Santa or the Easter Bunny were my parents and I never asked them about it and to top it off I don't remember when I realized that they were. I had kids of my own and realized I had to play the part so I must of figured it out at some point. I figure we will do the same. My DDs are 6 (turning 7 in July) and 3 (turned 3 in Feb.) they are really into Santa and the Easter Bunny and the WDW magic and I am glad to keep it that way.

 

[timbud1]

Kim, you said it...If you don't believe, he doesn't come...

My DD's are 7 and 9 and haven't so much as asked about the TOOTH FAIRY!! They've told me about those who don't believe, and for all I know they don't either, but they have enough imagination to keep those lovely flames burning!

Headed to WDW in THREE WEEKS for their first visit...they absolutely can't wait to meet their favorite characters and you can bet they will be completely enthralled with the MAGIC!!

 

[antmaril]

My son asked me when he was almost 11 if "Santa was real?". I looked at him and said "No, honey, he's not". Oh how I hated saying those words. He just stared at me for a minute and then a huge, crocodile sized tear rolled down his cheek. It broke my heart. However, he's 16 now and still wants a Christmas stocking and an Easter basket.

 

[lilallybean]

OMG, antmaril...that is just so very sad! That would just crush my heart I think. I think my hubby and I have decided to just take him for a long walk and do it. I know that he has an idea about it all already. I can just tell by the silly little looks and grins he gives when we talk about the Easter Bunny and such. If I tell him about it before Easter then I can make a big deal about how he can help get his sister's basket ready for her and let him help hide the eggs. I think if he got to help BE the Easter bunny it would help him to understand that there really is a special magic..its just a little different then what he thought before.

 

[MinnieGi]

Lillallybean - He probably does know the Easter Bunny is not "real," but do you really want to ruin Santa in the same axe?

I've taught children in grades 1 -3 for several years and most really never believed in an Easter Bunny delivery the basket but absolutely the majority believed in Santa's magic. It is FUN to believe! It's a part of childhood to believe! It's a part of childhood that doesn't last long! IMHO I would not take it away until he asks for confirmation.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[DisneyKidds]

DW has taught both 2nd and 3rd grade. Seems al little less than half of her 3rd graders still believed. The majority of 2nd graders still believed. Looks like somewhere between 7 and 9 is probably the average age for the 'talk', unless someone ruins it before then..........................

This year in our DD's 4 year old nursery school class one of the kids decided to announce that Santa wasn't real . Luckily, not all of the kids were in the same room at the time, including our DD fortunately. The parents of that boy got a good talking to from the teachers. There is nothing wrong with telling your kids the truth and not having them believe, but when you do so you should make sure they don't ruin it for other kids.

Here is our problem. Our DD is very aware of the differences between the various Easter Bunnies and Santas. Heck, our mall had a white Easter Bunney one day. Next day he was brown. Our DD picked up on that in a second. We told her that the Easter Bunny has helper bunnies and she's ok with that. We tell her the same thing about mall Santas.

 

[ZPT1022]

I think I would hold off on telling him until he asks first. He may even deny believing to his friends but secretly still want to believe. I remember still getting excited about trying to find my easter basket and the year after I came back from WDW college program lol. I also remember being very disappointed when I moved out with my bf (now dh) and he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Imagine my shock searching all around the apartment for my hidden easter basket only to find it was still hidden at the store

 

[GoofieRuthie]

I have 3 girls, 10, 8 and 2. My older two came to me a few years ago asking because the CHURCH teacher had announced that they are all fake. I was very upset. I simply asked "do you believe? " They both said yes and I said that is all that matters then. Simple enough. My middle daughter continues to question and I just ask her if he's not real then how does all the stuff get there. She doesn't have an answer. My oldest came to me 2 years ago and stated, " I know there is no Santa." She knew that it was us. ( Her father had brought her home early and I was wrapping presents. One of the gifts was left out beside the couch. I tried to sneak it away. She later told me that she had seen it.)She was worried she wouldn't get presents anymore. I explained that as long as she never ruined it for her sisters, then she would continue to get presents. She has been great about it too. She even explains things to her sister if she starts questioning Santa, EB, or TF. (I could go on with stories for days) So, in short....I say wait until he asks and even if he does tell him that as long as HE believes it is real.


Funny story......I was an only child with a single mom. I always slept with her on Christmas Eve. I woke up Christmas morning when I was about 10 or 11 and went to the living room to find NOTHING! Now, thankfully I knew there was no Santa. I went to wake my mom up and told her that she forgot to put out my stuff! LOL. I waited in the room until she was done. I got my beloved Atari that year! Could you imagine if I had thought Santa was real??? LOL I would have been swearing that I had been a girl all year.

 

[Jen D]

We just answered the questions as they come up. Our dd is five. I have never tried to sell her on the idea that Santa is "real", but she loves the stories and songs, and so from her cues we ended up doing the whole leaving cookies out, surprise presents in the morning. She's pretty into it.

She hasn't lost a tooth, yet, but has heard about the tooth fairy (not from me.) The other day she told me that her friend told her the tooth fairy was really her parents. I just raised my eyebrows and smiled (she had stated, not asked, so I neither confirmed or denied.) A couple days later she said she had decided that the Easter Bunny must be fake, like the tooth fairy. Again I said something pleasantly non-commital, like "do you think so?" She looked uneasy, and I could see the gears turning in her head-- if the tooth fairy and Easter Bunny are fake, then what about Santa... NOOOOO!

A couple days later she made a reference to the Easter Bunny. I gave her a quizzical look. She said sheepishly, "Mom, I decided I'm going to believe in the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy."

So the Easter Bunny will be visiting this year, and my conscience is clear.

 

[tammydel]

Wow,
My kids are 6 and 5.
On these same lines, what about Disney characters. My kids believe in Mickey and Buzz and Cinderella. Sometimes it takes creative explaining to make it all work, but here is the other cool thing. They believe in magic. Especially my 5 year old daughter. This helps with a lot of explaining!!!
Someday they will have to see the world differently, but not to soon I hope. And I think there should be some room in everyone's lives for believing in magic.