Sons 13th bday this weekend- would this irritate you? (NOT rsvp related)

[Mermaid02]

We are having a family party at 1pm on Saturday- just family. My sons Aunt and Uncle, 3 cousins- grandparents and my Aunts and Uncles (17 people including us). My Mom asked me what we were having for lunch- I told her I was not serving lunch- there would be chips/veggies with dip, my special cheese spread and crackers, sodas, juices- and of course cake and ice cream and coffee.

She told me that it was "too close" to lunch not to serve it so she is bringing sandwiches. I told everyone we would serve munchies and cake and ice cream. I'm annoyed. It's not a big deal and I'm not making it a big deal, but it just irritates me that what I planned was not sufficient for her and she's just going right ahead and doing what she wants. My husband is quite annoyed and said "Why can't she just keep her nose out of it." but he wont' say anything either.

Would it annoy you or not?

 

[Christine]

Well, yes, it would annoy me. But she has a point. It is borderline lunchtime for most people. I'd be fine because I'm an early bird and usually have lunch at 11:30, but most people don't. Then if there's any length of a drive to your home...

 

[Disfan1]

At least she is bringing the sandwiches instead of insisting YOU provide the sandwiches, KWIM? I can see how that would annoy you, though. My MIL is the same way.

 

[Pakey]

I would be annoyed too. Our family tradition was to serve lunch on Christmas Day. The very last time I hosted Christmas, my sisters-in-law did not like what I was serving (one had casually asked prior to that day) so they showed up with their own food. It was my last family Christmas.

 

[justhat]

Well, yes, it would annoy me. But she has a point. It is borderline lunchtime for most people. I'd be fine because I'm an early bird and usually have lunch at 11:30, but most people don't. Then if there's any length of a drive to your home...

Christine brings up a very good point. While I would be annoyed that my mom superseded my decision, if the party is at 1pm, people would likely need to leave their homes around 12:30pm, get ready before then, etc. I don't know if anyone has any other commitments that morning or whatever, but it basically means eating lunch before noon to be there on time and a lot of people don't do that. I know if I had an invite for a 1pm party I would assume there would be something more than chips and dip.

 

[LunchladyDoris]

At least she is bringing the sandwiches instead of insisting YOU provide the sandwiches, KWIM? I can see how that would annoy you, though. My MIL is the same way.

I agree, it's no skin of your teeth. At least the MIL is bringing the sandwiches. Besides, some people consider sandwiches to be a snack thing anyways.

 

[MIGrandma]

I'm with you, it would definitely annoy me. She can't have a sandwich at home before she comes to the party?

I have an allergy to wheat. Our DD and DSIL recently had a birthday party for our DGS's 5th birthday. It was at 5:00. They had pizza. I couldn't eat it, but did I make a big fuss about it? No, I had a rice noodle bowl shortly before we left for the party so I wasn't starving. They also had chips and I could eat those so that's what I had. I would never dream of trying to make them change their menu. Their party. Their choices.

I hate it when I have people over and have a set menu, and then someone else brings something without letting me know. In a way it's nice that they wanted to contribute, but then I have to find a serving dish, or space in the oven to keep it warm (or in the frig to keep it cold), find a spot on the table for it, etc. and I just prefer that people not bring stuff like that.

 

[jrmasm]

Yes it would annoy me but if I didn' want to serve lunch, I would have planned the party for 2:00 or 3:00.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I under stand where you car coming from, I would also be a little ticked, but I doubt I would say anything to my mom about it other than "I have already told everyone that I am serving snack foods & cake. If you want to bring them it's fine, but I would hate for you to waste your time & money." I would just leave it at that. What is it going to hurt if she brings them anyway? I like peace in the family so I would just let it go.

 

[Mermaid02]

Yes it would annoy me but if I didn' want to serve lunch, I would have planned the party for 2:00 or 3:00.

I'm having it earlier for the sake of my still napping 2 year old niece.

I agree with all of you- it's not a big deal. I just hope I don't have to serve!

 

[Wishing on a star]

It's just family...

It's in the 11:30 - 1:30 lunch timeframe...

It's some sandwiches...
(not serving and cleaning up a 4 course meal....)

I don't really see the problem

PS: I see things that are 'family', such as birthdays and Christmas as family events... Not one person playing hostess/god to control every single bite of food that is offered.

Like has been mentioned in another birthday thread...
The things people choose to give themselves a stroke over!

I am like...

I'd be like, "Great Mom, can you bring some of my favorite turkey on rye???"

 

[pearlieq]

While I would be annoyed that my mom superseded my decision, if the party is at 1pm, people would likely need to leave their homes around 12:30pm, get ready before then, etc. I don't know if anyone has any other commitments that morning or whatever, but it basically means eating lunch before noon to be there on time and a lot of people don't do that. I know if I had an invite for a 1pm party I would assume there would be something more than chips and dip.

My thoughts exactly. The butting in would bug me on principle, but your Mom is also right about lunch.

Don'tcha hate it when that happens???

 

[mjkacmom]

I hate it when I have people over and have a set menu, and then someone else brings something without letting me know. .

But her mom did let her know. The party is at lunchtime, and the OP's mom wants to bring lunch - more power to her! Around here, there is no such thing as a celebration without a meal.

 

[lillygator]

I don't know that I would be annoyed but I agree with mom...1pm is pretty close to lunch. Especially for us on the weekends, but then I have never been one to eat at noon on the dot. If I was having people over though close to lunch or dinner, I would be having a spread not munchies.

 

[Kathi OD]

Yep, it would annoy me. BUT, through the years I've learned, the answer to that question is, "I haven't decided what to serve, yet. I'll let you know if I need anything." Especially with mom. You know they are asking because they either want to change the menu or help out. This way you're free and clear.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yeah, don't you just HATE when that happens!!!

I think Pearlique just nailed it.

 

[NMAmy]

If I was having a party at 1:00, I'd include lunch. And I never turn down any offers to bring food along.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

We are having a family party at 1pm on Saturday- just family. My sons Aunt and Uncle, 3 cousins- grandparents and my Aunts and Uncles (17 people including us). My Mom asked me what we were having for lunch- I told her I was not serving lunch- there would be chips/veggies with dip, my special cheese spread and crackers, sodas, juices- and of course cake and ice cream and coffee.

She told me that it was "too close" to lunch not to serve it so she is bringing sandwiches. I told everyone we would serve munchies and cake and ice cream. I'm annoyed. It's not a big deal and I'm not making it a big deal, but it just irritates me that what I planned was not sufficient for her and she's just going right ahead and doing what she wants. My husband is quite annoyed and said "Why can't she just keep her nose out of it." but he wont' say anything either.

Would it annoy you or not?

No, it wouldn't. I'd expect those closest to me to be able to set me straight if I'm off course.

She said it nicely, it seems. And she's got a point. At least she's bringing the sandwiches.

My mother would have said it in a much different tone. "What are you, NUTS? You HAVE to serve lunch!!" And then I would have had to make the sandwiches myself. (I'm sure she would have offered to do her infamous potato salad, but still.)

 

[scrapquitler]

My opinion: serve what you want, let everyone else worry about whether they have had lunch or not. Because, honestly, even IF they come to your party and haven't eaten lunch, ONE day of eating munchies and cake instead of lunch isn't going to kill anyone (and if someone DOES have a medical issue, such as diabetes and blood sugar levels, then it is their own responsibility to make sure they eat what they need to when they need to). If someone 'misses' lunch, then they can eat extra munchies or a bigger piece of cake. Its not the end of the world.

And Mom overstepping on this probably is not the first time she has done something of this sort, is it? I would be annoyed, but not say anything because everyone probably realizes that she just is that way.

 

[Mom21]

I don't really get it. if I lived close enough to my family where we could have a family get together and my mom offered to bring food, I would be like "Bring it on! Bring it on! Bring it on!" Then I would hope there would be enough left for dinner that night and maybe lunch the next day so I don't have to cook. People get their panties in a wad about such strange things.