Son with no ambitions

[RNMOM]

Firstly, this boy has ADD/ODD and had difficulties in school. He dropped out his senior year and spent the next year getting his GED which he did on his first attempt. He is not stupid but he has no ambition to succeed in life. He doesn't want anything nice, just a bed with/without sheets a few clothes, doesn't matter what kind, and a meal once in a while. He doesn't want to learn a skill or anything he just wants to make minimum wage so he can have his cell phone and his ciggarettes.

I can't stand it anymore. I can't live like this with him going from looser job to job. He was fired, for no apparent reason, last week from a job that was winding down anyway and he was to get a bonus but won't now as he was fired. Sounds convenient doesn't it. He really does go to work and is on time, etc.

I keep trying to lead him to the Job Corp to learn a trade. I have looked up apprenticeship schools and trades and he just blows me off. Tonight he just told me he guesses he will have to get mad at himself to make himself change. I was trying to tell him how he will ruin his credit and loose any chance of having a car/apartment/cell phone if he keeps up this job pattern. AUGHHHHHH. I can't stand watching him drown. He has a lot of friends who are just like him. That is a big part of the problem.

I am in a state of anxiety all the time for him. I hate living this way. I don't know what to do.

Oh, by the way. Yes, we have tried counseling and all that. He has been through so much "help" it has created a person who just wants to crawl in a hole and pull it in after himself. He isn't really depressed, been that route too. Just, doesn't care.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

No advice, just a hug for you!

 

[golfgal]

Sounds like he needs to live in the real world for a while, not at home, get an apartment, pay his own bills, etc. Not a fun thing to do but it usually works.

 

[Colorado Mom]

I keep trying to lead him to the Job Corp to learn a trade. I have looked up apprenticeship schools and trades and he just blows me off. Tonight he just told me he guesses he will have to get mad at himself to make himself change.



I think that just sums it up. He has to want it, to get it. Sounds like you have been a good mom, offered opportunities and chances and advice. I know it stinks when they waste chances in life, don't use the wisdom you pass onto them, but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink comes to mind.