Dear CATS:
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two or more CATs in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Look at videos of cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball.
It is not necessary to sleep on my chest, between my legs, or on both sides of my legs then get in a territorial fight. I know biting my toes and clawing my ankles will maximize space used. Do not think I will sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
My purse, my furniture and my ankles are not there for a source of your amusement.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; feline attendance is not mandatory.
Shower curtains are not supposed to hang in shreds. No mouse, fish, or bug is going to come bursting out of the toilet when it flushes, therefore it is not necessary to hang your head in anticipation of said event.
The proper order is - kiss me, THEN go smell the other cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Do not walk on my face in the middle of the night after having left the litter box. Also; shake the gravel off your paws BEFORE climbing in bed with me.
Rules for non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
1. The CAT lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want CAT hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my CAT a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, she's a CAT. To me, she's an adopted daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two or more CATs in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Look at videos of cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball.
It is not necessary to sleep on my chest, between my legs, or on both sides of my legs then get in a territorial fight. I know biting my toes and clawing my ankles will maximize space used. Do not think I will sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
My purse, my furniture and my ankles are not there for a source of your amusement.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; feline attendance is not mandatory.
Shower curtains are not supposed to hang in shreds. No mouse, fish, or bug is going to come bursting out of the toilet when it flushes, therefore it is not necessary to hang your head in anticipation of said event.
The proper order is - kiss me, THEN go smell the other cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Do not walk on my face in the middle of the night after having left the litter box. Also; shake the gravel off your paws BEFORE climbing in bed with me.
Rules for non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
1. The CAT lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want CAT hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my CAT a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, she's a CAT. To me, she's an adopted daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Absolutely perfect.....fits my parents' cats and my roommate's cats to a T
