*SOB* I haven't felt like this since 5th grade!!

[FreshTressa]

While my daughter takes gymnastics at the gym, the other mothers and I usually sit around and chat. Our daughters all moved up at about the same time. Over the past year, we have seen each 2-3 times a week for an hour and a half and have gotten fairly close....or at least I thought.

One of the little girls is going to be gone for a while due to medical reasons and another little girl just got moved up. So, today it was just me and these other two mothers.

Well, they totally SNUBBED me!!! The directed their conversation just to each other and if I made a comment they just nodded and went on. Then, when we moved to go to the bar area, which we usually always do and stand together, I got there first. When they got there, they went and stood on the other side, way away from me, just the two of them. And neither said good bye to me on the way out.

My feelings were really hurt. I don't know what to do next time I see them. I don't know if it was on purpose or they just weren't being thoughtful. I haven't had an experience like this as an adult and I just don't know how to deal with it.

It kind of makes me feel like crying.

 

[Kallison]

Idiots! Kick them in the shins.

Maybe just maybe they didn't realize they were excluding you. I think we've all been in these situations. Sometimes I'll get to talking and realize I'm not including someone else too. Give them another chance next week. If they do it again, I would bring a book and ignore them. They are not worth your time or effort.

 

[Dan Murphy]

No ideas as to why, Tressa, but sure have a for ya. Wish I was there to give you one in person.

Dan

 

[Saffron]

I'm sorry that happened to you. My feelings would have been hurt too.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

Sorry they made you feel so bad. Actually, I bet that they did it on purpose - from your post it sounds very deliberate. Not that they discussed excluding you beforehand or anything, but they were following each other's lead or something. It's a way of "putting you in your place". Sorry I sound so negative, it's just that I dealt with this exact kind of crap at a job I used to work, and believe me, people ARE that petty.

Another idea - is this competative gymnastics? Is your DD very good, better than theirs? Maybe a jealously thing or something . ...

Next time you see them, ignore these "ladies" and bring a cell phone and call someone you like and have a great conversation! OK - that's what I would do! Seriously, hopefully it was a one week fluke and things will be normal next time - hope you cheer up soon!

 

[powellrj]

we had the same thing at dance class. It got so bad, I just would have DH take her to dance class. We don't do dance anymore, we do gymnastics, but DH just kept taking her and I never stopped him. I know it sounds really petty, but he enjoys the time to read the paper and magazines, and I don't have to deal with others and their petty ways. Good luck, and just start taking a book and don't let the others get you down. You are a much better person than they are!!!!

 

[monkeyboy]

I took my niece to a local playgroup once.

Well as the new person and the only male, I was defiantly snubbed by the group and I was a little upset.

When we where leaving though some of the ladies cam up and talked to me (even flirting with me).

I think they were just part of a “group mentality”


It’s not fun is it?

 

[browneyes]

Could they have been discussing something personal? Maybe they're best friends?

Sorry you got your feeling hurt.

 

[catsrule]

Sorry you got hurt, Tressa. I would ignore them. I would bring a book or magazine to read.

 

[Serena]

I'm sorry. You would have thought that they would have been taught manners by now.
I'd bring something to do, and let them alone.

 

[Keli]

That really wasn't very kind of those women. Even if they weren't purposely trying to exclude you (and it kinda sounds like they were to me) they are at least guilty of being rude. Such stupid, silly, and painful things we do to each other. And probably for no significant reason.
I'm really sorry this happened to you and next time I would make an effort to be included but if it didn't work then I would pull out a book or magazine I'd brought and move on. Life's too short to let petty, small minded people make you miserable.

 

[AmazingGrace]

Last year, I started getting chummy with a neighbor in base housing. I'll call her Minnie. Our kids were roughly the same ages, we were both SAHMs. We would walk to school together, hang out at the park with our kids, etc. Then this other lady moved in. I'll call her Daisy. Well, Daisy and i hit it off immediately. Our kids were totally the same age. She was a christian like me, we just had a lot in common. Well, Minnie and daisy also hit it off. So, it should have been the three of us skipping through base housing together, right? WRONG!!!! Minnie and Daisy became SUCH good friends that their little mutual admiration society had no room for anyone else, including me!!!! Not that they disliked me or anything. On the contrary, I was always on good terms with these women, they just had no interest in being friends with me, or anyone else for that matter.
It really hurt. I had that Fifth grade feeling throughout the whole school year. These women had the attitude of"well, we're best friends, so we're just great, don't you wish you were us??so don't anyone DARE butt in!!!"
That's probably where these Gymmoms were at. It's a shame people have to be so cliquey but it takes all kinds.
Next time, bring a book or magazine, and don't give these women the time of day. They're not worth it.

 

[DisneyObsessed]

I don't have any advice, just hugs I know how I have felt when that has been done to me But think of it this way....they don't have 58,000 friends like you do here
_____________
Dawn

 

[figment95]

How rude!! I know how that can hurt but life is too short to worry about rude people. It's their loss.

 

[FreshTressa]

Thanks everyone! I feel much better today.

No, the two women are not best friends and I know the one woman much better than the other one knows her. And no, they were not talking about anything personal, I could hear them chatting. They were just plain being rude

I did realize something, that I never did like the one lady. At all. I am just the type to put up with and respect most all types of personalities unless they are mean. But, realizing that I never really liked her or enjoyed her company anyway makes me feel better. She is very snobby and always has bad breath and thinks she is better than everyone.

Also, the two of them are much closer in age, they are in their mid 40's and I am only 30, and they both have sons the same age, older kids in the 5th grade, so I can see why. But I still think it was rude.

Thanks again for the advice. Next time I am bringing a book!

 

[monkeyboy]

Originally posted by FreshTressa
She is very snobby and always has bad breath

I just found that funny as heck

Originally posted by FreshTressa
Also, the two of them are much closer in age, they are in their mid 40's and I am only 30 [/B]

But if you are all moms, isn't that a common bond to bring up in discussion?

 

[AirForceRocks]

Originally posted by FreshTressa
Thanks everyone! I feel much better today.

No, the two women are not best friends and I know the one woman much better than the other one knows her. And no, they were not talking about anything personal, I could hear them chatting. They were just plain being rude

I did realize something, that I never did like the one lady. At all. I am just the type to put up with and respect most all types of personalities unless they are mean. But, realizing that I never really liked her or enjoyed her company anyway makes me feel better. She is very snobby and always has bad breath and thinks she is better than everyone.

Also, the two of them are much closer in age, they are in their mid 40's and I am only 30, and they both have sons the same age, older kids in the 5th grade, so I can see why. But I still think it was rude.

Thanks again for the advice. Next time I am bringing a book!

I agree, it is very hurtful when you've been treated that way, especially when you didn't do anything to deserve it, and the other person is just being snobby. I've seen children being treated like this, just because they don't wear the "right" clothes or because they don't behave the way others think they should. Incredibly, I've even seen parents do this to other people's children.

I think it's terribly sad all around.

 

[DemonLlama]

I'm a Gymnastics Mom, too, and this is one odd sport, as far as the parents are concerned. I've noticed all kinds of cliquish behavior (although it is worse with the Cheer Moms at our gym) that is usually offensive to the ones being excluded. I'm not making excuses for them, but all gyms have their share of PFH's (Parents from H. . .) and sometimes you have to take it all with a grain of salt and bring a book, or find something else to do. My DD has three-hour practices in another town, so driving home is not an option, but I've found a friend to visit with outside the gym or run errands just to escape the gym for awhile. You are not alone!

 

[pnelson]

Am I the only one who feels these ladies did nothing wrong? Not to say it wasn't hurtful, but I don't feel that they specifically were rude. I've also been involved in neighborhoods and sports, but I don't feel like I have to make friends with everyone. There are people I like and enjoy, and people I don't. While I'm not rude to the people I don't like, I don't go out of my way to engage them in conversation either. Yes, it hurts, but I think that we learn as grown ups that not everyone likes us, and you know what? That's okay.