So, when your kid won't get out of the car....

[disneymom3]

WHAT do you do? I have always been able to talk DS through just about anything. Not today. He is supposed to be at VBS. He is reading on the couch. He went yesterday and had a great time. Today, he simply refused to get out of the car.

We homeschool and I would imagine I would run into this problem if he went to public school. Which is one reason we don't quite honestly. He weighs 80 lbs so I sure couldn't move him. Couldn't have left him there freaking out anyway.

He has SPD and maybe is a bit Aspberger's. Or it might just be the SPD. He also has fairly severe anxiety which is treated with medication.

I just am at a loss. I couldn't MAKE him go and yet, not making him do it feels like a cop out.

 

[kirstenb1]

How would you feel about accompanying him, and being his "shadow"? Our dd is younger, but this is what I did for VBS.

My goal was for her to be in a classroom setting, and that was it. I was pretty flexible with how to do it, obviously.

 

[disneymom3]

Thanks for the suggestion. I tried that too. Finally have figured out while watching him when he did go in yesterday, that the noise level in that room is pretty bad. He was sitting at the table plugging his ears. We have gone to every other day so he attended on Mon, Weds and will go tomorrow. The break in between seems to help.

 

[kirstenb1]

I hear you---sounds like you know what he needs. Good luck with tomorrow and hugs.

 

[ireland_nicole]

have you thought about ear protectors? DD uses them all the time- especially at church and in the cafeteria and gym at school.

 

[Earstou]

WHAT do you do?....He is supposed to be at VBS. He is reading on the couch. He went yesterday and had a great time. Today, he simply refused to get out of the car.
....I just am at a loss. I couldn't MAKE him go and yet, not making him do it feels like a cop out.

My ds was like this alot. Do an activity once, love it, then refuse to go the next time.
I started telling him that if he didn't attend his activity, he also could not watch tv or play video games at home. He could read or do his chores. This almost always worked. I never forced him!
I found he usually just didn't want to leave home and stop what he was doing. It usually had nothing to do with the activity.
I also would keep repeating the schedule for the activity, such as, "VBS is every day this week, you go today, and you will go again tomorrow" or "Scouts will meet again tomorrow night". Giving advance notice so he knew what to expect, days before, hours before, minutes before!

I understand about the noise level. My ds would often refuse to enter a room if there was a wailing child in it. But he refused to wear ear protectors or ear plugs to help with the noise, so I had to just talk him thru it or wait for the noise to die down.

 

[disneymom3]

have you thought about ear protectors? DD uses them all the time- especially at church and in the cafeteria and gym at school.

I don't know what you are referring to here. Could you explain the type of thing you mean?

Earstou, yep, he did read and clean his room the whole time the first day. I wanted to make sure it was not just because he felt like staying home and watching tv or whatever. He read without complaint for two hours and then got his room in tip top shape. When I figured out how loud it was after Weds, I got it and decided not to make him go if it was too hard. When his sensory system gets overloaded, he gets naseous and then gets more anxious because he worries about throwing up. When he is more anxious, his sensory system can take less stimulation and round and round we go. It's a pretty vicious cycle.

Basically, I had to remind myself that we can only do what works for him and nto to let myself be judged by others. Because, really, that is what I was worried about--what other people would think if I didn't make him do it.

 

[ireland_nicole]

I don't know what you are referring to here. Could you explain the type of thing you mean?

Basically, I had to remind myself that we can only do what works for him and nto to let myself be judged by others. Because, really, that is what I was worried about--what other people would think if I didn't make him do it.

They look like old fashioned headphones or earmuffs, and you buy them in any store with a hunting dept (bricks and mortar or online). They are traditionally used around guns, construction, etc. to block sound. They come in childrens sizes- there are also earplugs, but my kids don't like anything in their ears- theydo however love the gentle pressure of the earphones (the part that touches them is soft and a little squishy to get a good seal.) My DD especially carries hers with her and uses them whenever there's a lot of sound- church, stores (especially warehouse style buildings like costco), the gym and cafeteria at school, etc. They really help a lot.

 

[disneymom3]

Thank you! I have never heard of those. We have a Cabella's pretty close by so I will definitely check them out. We tried regular earmuffs a few years ago for WDW but they don't really block out sound, though he did say the feeling of them made him more relaxed. He won't wear ear plugs either, so I know what you mean.

I am really excited about this possibility for various situations. (Like movies--they are always way too loud for him.)