Snacking

[tiff211]

While I am out of work, I have become a stay at home mom. My girls seem like they want to eat from the minute they walk in the door until bedtime. I am okay with some unhealthy snacks, like soda, chips, cookies, etc. but I make them ask before they get something. My girls are used to it so they are pretty good at doing so. My boyfriend's daughter not so much. She's used to being home solo (his parents live upstairs) so she just ate whenever, whatever til he got home. If I make a gallon of kool-aid, she will drink it glass after glass. I am constantly having to "remind" her to ask me when the other girls come ask for what she is eating. Of course, she is eating the unhealthy snacks constantly. Its driving me crazy. I just bought a coke because I get migraines and the caffeine helps them. She just walked by drinking a glass. I made her pour it out. Rules are rules. If she has it, the girls want it. I have said something to her dad and he said he will talk to her. But it keeps happening. Any ideas? Aside from eating a bunch of junk, i think her eating needs to be monitored because diabetes runs in my boyfriends family...he has it as well.

Btw, she just turned 10

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Tread carefully.

Sometimes it just isn't willful disobedience.

While it is important for her to respect the rules, rule breaking for the sake of breaking rules may not be why she is doing it. Unfortunately, in the step-mom roll that you are, it would take her father being on the same page as you and being willing to be consistent.

Set out healthy snacks in the meantime. That way, if she feels she is hungry--which can happen, she has a healthy option. Hungry? Eat an apple. Her knowing when she is truly hungry and how to address her hunger in a healthy manner will go a lot further in helping her than making her toss out food/drinks when she has more than she is supposed to. (I apologize for not quite wording that the best way.)

It is a battle fought with the best intentions, but can easily be lost by the parent.

 

[southern_redhead]

Tread carefully.

Sometimes it just isn't willful disobedience.

While it is important for her to respect the rules, rule breaking for the sake of breaking rules may not be why she is doing it. Unfortunately, in the step-mom roll that you are, it would take her father being on the same page as you and being willing to be consistent.

Set out healthy snacks in the meantime. That way, if she feels she is hungry--which can happen, she has a healthy option. Hungry? Eat an apple. Her knowing when she is truly hungry and how to address her hunger in a healthy manner will go a lot further in helping her than making her toss out food/drinks when she has more than she is supposed to. (I apologize for not quite wording that the best way.)

It is a battle fought with the best intentions, but can easily be lost by the parent.

Best advice you'll get all day. I would have a sit down talk with your BF. I'm not sure what your arrangements are (you are living in his parents house, not working - are you buying food on assistance or is he buying it? Do you provide some service in lieu of rent (cleaning, sitting with an elderly parent, etc.. These are all things that can come up in the discussion) so I won't say she should or shouldn't be drinking your coke or eating your snacks. HOWEVER, this is clearly an issue for you and it needs to be addressed.

From my point of view, as a stepmom, I can tell you being on the same page is terribly, terribly important. Marriages live and die by it. Perhaps he has talked to her and that is all he intends to do. If that is not satisfactory to you then let him know now before bigger issues arise.

 

[Kat77]

We have the same rule about asking unless it is fruit or water. Maybe you could make a list of healthy snacks she does not have to ask permission for? We also limit snacks and drinks to the kitchen only so the kids tend to snack less if not allowed to carry food off. Good luck.

 

[VAfamily1998]

Just don't keep junk in the house.

We don't. My Dh and kids have very little self control when it comes to junk food, so we just don't buy it. My kids snack on yogurt, fruit, and vegetables.

 

[minkydog]

Just don't keep junk in the house.

We don't. My Dh and kids have very little self control when it comes to junk food, so we just don't buy it. My kids snack on yogurt, fruit, and vegetables.

Heck, *I* have little self control when it come to junk food. I just cannot keep it in the house. If there is a bag of chips or a chocolate bar in the house I will not stop until i have eaten the whole thing! Like a drug addict! Needless to say,I have to be very careful about what i bring home. In my household, if someone wants junky stuff they have to actually get into the car and drive to the store to get it. That pretty much stifles the urge to graze.

OP, I would strongly recommend you take a good look at what kind of snack they're *all* eating and make some changes. It's not healthy for anyone to be eating from the time they get home. A snack at 4pm ought to hold them over until 5:30 or 6pm. I understand that you need a coke sometimes--not a problem. You're done growing. But they're not. Keep your cokes under your bed or in your closet. Buy them a flat of water and some of those Crystal Light packs you add to water bottles. Start buying healthy low carb stuff--fruit, already cut up veggies, cheese cubes, yogurt, etc. Be careful about the high carb stuff--as healthy as pretzels & pita chips are, if you eat a lot of them you kinda lose the health benefits.

More than anything else, you're going to have to get with the BF and hammer this out together.

 

[rodeo65]

Just don't keep junk in the house.

We don't. My Dh and kids have very little self control when it comes to junk food, so we just don't buy it. My kids snack on yogurt, fruit, and vegetables.

I also have to limit what I buy - and hide it. DH is the worst - he even gets into snacks I buy for the kids lunches. They always get some kind of granola bar or some rice chips in their lunches but half the time when I go to pack them, if he knows where it is, it's gone.

I'm trying (still) to train the kids to go for yoghurt, cheese, nuts and fruit - always on hand, but they ask for the carby snacks every time and have to be told their other options by the mean, mean mom.

 

[DisneyScraps]

First have your DBF talk to her. You have to really stay out of it,

i would also advise that you change the snacks. I would never give a 10 year old Kool Aid or Coke. If you need Coke and you can't trust her get it in bottles or cans so you can monitor how much you have.

It should be made clear to her that the Coke is NOT for her, her Dad needs to do this. There needs to be a consequence if she breaks the rule.

I know everyone likes unhealthy snacks, I would buy them in limited quantities, Portion them out ahead of time and then you can better know how much she is eating.

As others suggested start phasing in more healthy snacks. If you are home maybe you could spend time with the kids making a snack like a more healthy cookie, hot out of the oven. Yummy and it gets them involved and give you bonding time.

All reprimands need to come from her Dad.

Good luck!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

While I am out of work, I have become a stay at home mom. My girls seem like they want to eat from the minute they walk in the door until bedtime. I am okay with some unhealthy snacks, like soda, chips, cookies, etc. but I make them ask before they get something. My girls are used to it so they are pretty good at doing so. My boyfriend's daughter not so much. She's used to being home solo (his parents live upstairs) so she just ate whenever, whatever til he got home. If I make a gallon of kool-aid, she will drink it glass after glass. I am constantly having to "remind" her to ask me when the other girls come ask for what she is eating. Of course, she is eating the unhealthy snacks constantly. Its driving me crazy. I just bought a coke because I get migraines and the caffeine helps them. She just walked by drinking a glass. I made her pour it out. Rules are rules. If she has it, the girls want it. I have said something to her dad and he said he will talk to her. But it keeps happening. Any ideas? Aside from eating a bunch of junk, i think her eating needs to be monitored because diabetes runs in my boyfriends family...he has it as well.

Btw, she just turned 10

This is not your child so that makes the situation very hard to navigate.

You can put the snacks under lock and key. I think that is probably the way to go. That way she will have to ask and it will teach her to ask.

Keep the healthy snacks available for the kids to get whenever they want.