Single Moms with young children/moms who travel with just young children

[*pixie*dust*]

I am a single mom who used to travel extensively when I was married. I have not, however, traveled much since my son's arrival and the end of my marriage. DS and I had a wonderful trip to WDW in October. This was a major step for me but I think I felt comfortable there since I have been there many times and am very familiar with things.

I want to continue to vacation with my son but I am having trouble with the idea of going somewhere I have never been before with it being just he and I. Maybe I am being overly worried about getting out of my safety zone. If you have traveled with just you and your child or children did you have similar worries? I am a pretty independent person but I am struggling a bit with this one. Any helpful thoughts or advice?

 

[Briarmom]

I travel with just my kids all the time. Dh is in the military so sometimes he is deployed and sometimes he just can't get the time off.

Where are you wanting to go? How old is your son?

Don't let fear get in the way of travel. You'll always regret it.

 

[happily single]

I am used to being single and used to take my two children on long weekends all the time. I have since had another child and took all three (ages 4, 9 and 11) to Disney last January ALL BY MYSELF. We had been to Disney several times, but always with my ex.

My 9 year old turned 10 while in Disney and he has special needs. But I can tell you everything was great! Well, of course except when he threw up allllll over Whispering Canyon or refused to go into Tinkerbell's house, but other than that we did great.

I spoke with them beforehand and every night while in Disney, just reminding them of my expectations (best behavoir, stay close and let's have fun).

 

[DMickey28]

I have taken my DS to WDW alone quite a few times but that's it. I don't know about going anywhere else ... I agree, there is comfort. However, as long as you use the same "smarts" as you would traveling alone once you do it once somewhere new it will just like WDW!! Maybe start with closer to home weekend trips to get up the practice before flying out somewhere new.

 

[ZuZugal]

My advice is prepare yourself the best you can and then go! Don't pass up an opportunity.

When my DS was one year old (is now 16) his dad had a convention in Washington DC, but was tied up with work most of the time. I took DS1 all over our nations capital and loved every minute of it. Diaper bag, stroller, maps, used public transportation. It was awesome. I just made sure I mapped out where we were going, etc. And this was before I even had a cell phone!

 

[tasha99]

My ex did three hardship tours without his family, and now we're divorced, so we've done quite a few trips and excursions on our own (they're not little anymore, but we did).

Things I used to do:
*For the flight/drive prepare bags of activities for each child. Some educational games, something to read, some junky project type toys that will entertain, etc. I have had strangers thank me once on a flight when I had my three kids all actively and quietly engaged from one coast to the other. You can't count on in flight movies--most aren't appropriate for the kids anyway. On the other hand, it doesn't hurt to bring a laptop or movie player (we did that recently, but it wasn't an option in the 90's when my kids were little).

*Get a hotel close to where ever you plan to spend your time. For WDW that's onsite. We tried offsite once, and it was not worth the meltdowns waiting for the shuttle.

* Have food with you at all times. Nothing fancy, just something in case you get stuck somewhere and want to avoid having a screaming, hungry child.

*If you go camping, consider putting up ropes to show young kids concrete boundaries for where the campsite ends. It's the hardest thing in the world to explain to a 3-4 year old the difference between being in the campsite and 5 feet out of it. You still have to watch like a hawk, but I found it helped. Actually, camping with young children solo is really hard because that extra set of eyes and hands from a partner are so much help. Not sure I'd even call it fun.

 

[abdmom]

I'm a widow, so if I want to travel, I have to travel by myself with 3 children. Places I've gone - Hawaii, Smugglers Notch, VT, China with Adventures by Disney, cruises to Alaska and the Caribbean and WDW of course. Next up is a cruise to the Mediterranean with DCL. All of my choices are to places with there are many things for kids to do. Usually, there is child care available or at least, it's an organized trip where someone else does the organizing, feeds us and gets us from point A to point B. I would highly recommend any of the trips that I have done.

 

[Mom21]

I was very independent, but I was with my ex for 15 years. I was used to him doing things like dropping us off at the airport or hotel entry with the luggage, going to park, and taking the shuttle back. We went to Disney several times a year and he always drove. I had no idea how to get around Disney property. We divorced over 2 and 1/2 years ago. My dd was 10 and like you I worried about how I would handle it. I mean I can't just drop her off with luggage and have her wait on me.

I learned to adjust. I have no choice but to travel. My dd is a competitive athlete so even if I didn't vacation, I have to travel a lot. Things we've done is instead of driving to the airport budget in a towncar, always make sure the hotel we stayed at had a bellman so I could drop my luggage off and both of us would go park (I was surprised to learn that even some Marriotts didn't have bellmen--we're not talking Motel 6 here). I've overcome my timidness and she and I do just fine. Well we argue about who is right on directions because she is almost 13 now so it does get easier. At least she can help now if she can keep her mouth shut long enough.

So in a little over 2 years we have gone to Disney/Universal about 6-7 times, Barbados, Dominican Republic, NC from way down in South Florida driving, NYC, more out of town competitions for the weekends than I can count, etc.

About being out of your safety zone, I had a chat with dd about that when we were in Dominican Republic. My dd is terrified of sharks--we swam with them. She loved it. Also I convinced her to zipline down the side of a mountain through the trees. There were 8 lines. She was so scared. I came down the 3rd and she was smiling. I said "I see you finally like it". Her response--"Not really"--LOL. I said to her "but you are doing it. You can't let fear hold you back. One day, instead of waking up and saying I wish I had done that when I had the chance, you will wake up and say I DID THAT." She had a blast though. By the end she was a pro.

BTW I still can't find my way around Disney worth a squat. I always end up at the furtherest hotel from where I want to be asking directions of the guard.

Go. Enjoy!!

 

[Robinrs]

My son turns 17 next week. I've been a single Mom since he was a baby.

We've travelled to Orlando no less than 30 times in his lifetime, and to San Francisco, New York and countless other cities together, just US.

We have similar tastes so love going to all kinds of places together, most of his life. In fact, this year will be his first birthday celebrating at home because he has to go to school on his birthday for the first time. We laughed about the fact that we usually celebrate his bday in another state!


Go, enjoy yourself. We are bigger, stronger and more capable than the world expects us to be.

 

[MB MinnieGirl]

I've been a single mom since I was 6 months pregnant and my dd will soon be 10. Our first big trip was a Disney Cruise. Honestly...it was to get my feet wet with big travel and just the two of us. It was fantastic b/c I knew we would each still be able to have "our" space with the kids club. I also loved the fact that for a change as a single mommy, I could be the GOOD guy and give her (within reason) whatever she wanted....two desserts - sure, cookies from room service - alrighty, and on and on.

The trip itself was priceless in memories and in what it taught me as her mom. I learned that she is an amazing little traveler. We do great with customs, packing, racing through airports to connecting flights, etc.

I also learned that we HAVE to take these trips. It's a must for us to get away, escape everyone else and everything and simply enjoy each other. There isn't anywhere I would be afraid to go with her. We even take small trips quite often...just to get away.

We've done Disney and the cruise several times. We have also gone to DC, Ohio (friends to visit there), Baltimore, and frequently take small trips throughout the year to Columbia, Charleston, Charlotte, and Wilmington where we just play around, shop, ice skate, go to the zoo etc. I bet there are many places you would like to go together that you would both enjoy!

I agree with the other posters...do not let fear take hold of you with this...you can do it and you have to, otherwise you will always regret it. Time moves too quickly.

If you have any questions, etc., you can PM or email me. You can do this!

~~~Kelly

 

[quasar4legs]

I'm in Australia and we have family camps that are run by sporting and local councils which may or may not be available in the US.
My son and I did several of these camps when he was about 6 onwards and had a ball each and every time. Each family was allocated their own hut with bunk beds and during the day there were organised activities including canoeing, absailing, bushwalks, craft clases, swimming, group games, evening concerts etc.
The camps were cheap, fun and you could do as much or as little as you wanted.
If available, something like this might be a good start for you and your son.

Good Luck

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Another SIngle mom here!

DD is 8 and we have traveled to LA, San Francisco, San Diego, Disneyland, Disney World, New York, Washington DC, Virginia, Maryland, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Oregon and many more. In addition we have driven across country from Virginia to California (Ofcourse dd never wants to do that again).

MY dd is a great traveler! We are currently looking into a trip to Europe - dreaming at this point but want to make it reality in a couple of years.

I do/did have many similar worries. For that reason I do a great deal of research about our desitantions, maintain a membership with AAA - they have offices most everywhere and can be a great deal of help, and try to plan our trip. I am not one for "surprises" the first time in a new place.

It can be tricky because there are not those extra hands/eyes to help but if you prepare yourself and child it can be a lot of fun.

My dd knows one of our main traveling rules is to stick together. She promises to tell me if she wants/needs to do something and I promise to listen to her and if we are not able to at the moment explain why and plan for when we will do it. Ofcourse this works much better now that she is older.

Also I include my dd is planning and decision making. I try to let her pick a meal choice for each day - or something like that so she feels in control and has an added interest in the trip.

 

[Planogirl]

I've gone to WDW and elsewhere with just my son many times and I am married. DH went when DS was very little but he quit when DS was about 4. DH travels extensively for a living and doesn't like themeparks so we were pretty much on our own. DS and I have to been to many places and we've had a great time.

It's really easy with one kid! You just have to keep an eye on him and the easiest way to do that is to get him involved in what you're doing. They can be told what is about to happen at just about any age.

 

[golfgal]

Well, I am married but have done a lot of traveling with the kids without DH. Often his work schedule would not allow him to come with-that and he doesn't like to travel. We had a "family' trip to DS in June, he stayed for a day and had to get back to work so the kids and I spent a week in DC. Once you do it a couple times you will figure out it is no big deal.

Another idea is if you have a friend that is a single mom that you could go on trips with you could travel together??

 

[aprilgail2]

I am single and travel all over with my daughter- when she was 2 she and I drove to Florida- from NY....we have driven up to Canada, Down to Myrtle Beach and are currently planning a 2 month long drive around the US a few years down the road. We go camping in Ct. We have gone to the Bahamas, St. Thomas, Cancun and taken 3 Disney Cruises. Honestly I don't think twice about going anywhere with just the two of us!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am a single mom who used to travel extensively when I was married. I have not, however, traveled much since my son's arrival and the end of my marriage. DS and I had a wonderful trip to WDW in October. This was a major step for me but I think I felt comfortable there since I have been there many times and am very familiar with things.

I want to continue to vacation with my son but I am having trouble with the idea of going somewhere I have never been before with it being just he and I. Maybe I am being overly worried about getting out of my safety zone. If you have traveled with just you and your child or children did you have similar worries? I am a pretty independent person but I am struggling a bit with this one. Any helpful thoughts or advice?

I am married however I traveled with my kids without dh all the time. You just do it despite the anxiety.
Happy planning!

 

[*pixie*dust*]

Thanks everyone! Your stories are really helping. I am feeling a bit more like "I can do this" with each post. My ds is 4 and I want him to have the opportunity to travel and have new experiences.


I really appreciate your input and tips.