Sick of dh's work..vent long

[tigercat]

I am so sick of my dh's work. He works 12 1/2 hr days M-F and then usually works Sat. & Sun as well. He is a electronic technologist by trade. At work he is the tech support person (the only one), he is inside sales as well as outside sales. He is the troubleshooter for all computer problems and looks after the networking system. If anything goes down it is his responsibility. He has to help with any construction around the place and is responsible for all electronic and phone changes there. He is also the only repair (for their products) person available. For all of this he is paid $35,000 to 40,000 Can. a year. He is suppose to have 4 weeks holidays a year but a lot of years it is really hard to get because there is always some reason why he can't take off. He is not entitled to any sick days and if he doesn't take the vacation days then they just get lost. He has no pension plan at work and very little health care. Dental is $200.00 a yr. /family. No eyeglasses and very little else. I am trying to get him to quit but it is hard as he is 52. Also, he has worked for this company for 29 yrs. The worst part is it is a family company and I am the family part. It is my brothers who manage the company and my father who started it. I hate family businesses and everytime someone says that it must be really great to have my dh work for family makes me want to strangle them......
tigercat

 

[glo]

I am sorry.....that sounds horrible.....{{{HUGS}}}

 

[EROS]

Tigercat, you didn't state whether you're employed as well. If you're not, then I feel that you should SUPPORT your husband in his efforts to provide for his family. I too have a demanding job which keeps me away from home at least 6 days/week for more than 60 hours. As much as I miss my DW and DS, I take comfort that my efforts allow my wife to be a SAHM. She misses me a great deal but is highly supportive rather than critical of my career choice.

If you ARE employed, perhaps you could find a position which pays more and thus allow your DH to look elsewhere (if he so chooses) for a less taxing position.

 

[disykat]

It's perfectly acceptable to be upset about a job where he works so many hours for so little remuneration! Is dh as frustrated as you are? I hope you can find a way to make things better for all of you!

 

[mamajoan]

Whew! That sounds like a really stressful situation.. BTW does he LIKE his job? If not, I am sure there are other companies that would benefit from a man like him. Family is a great comfort sometimes.. but it sounds to me as if they are taking advantage of him.. jmho.

 

[Baboo]

{{{hugs}}} for you tigercat! I hope that things get better for both of you soon. How are YOU feeling these days?

 

[Mamu]

Also sending {{{HUGS}}}

 

[tigercat]

I guess I should have added that no my dh is not happy at work. It is so stressfull for him because he is a nice guy. He doesn't play games and he is very honest. He doesn't backstab he just tries to do his job and look after the customers. He is at this point trying to figure out how he can go out on his own. I get very upset because I see how it is affecting him. There are 2 sides in the family (I come from a fairly large family) but to my parents they think everything is just fine. Since they are not well everyone covers up. I have for years supported my dh in his job and will support him if he decides to leave but I can no longer support the business. I am very worried that they will cause him to have a heart attack or a car accident on the way home at 11 p.m. I do sort of stay at home. I look after my dgrdds several afternoons a week, and I also look after my parents a lot during the week. There is so much they can't do. I also work part time at the business but very part time. My dh doesn't want me anywhere around there. What is sad is that my ds is looking for a job and they are looking to hire someone that would be the perfect job for him but my dh will not hire him. He said they would just kill him if he worked here so that's that.
Baboo, I am doing okay. Everyday is a struggle right now though as the Chronic Fatigue has really gotten a hold of me. I just have to wait it out and of course Stay Away From Stress........
tigercat

 

[Dan Murphy]

Passing on a {hug} of support for you both, tigercat. I have a number of small, family businesses as clients, and do see similar situations as you describe in a number of them. Hoping things improve.

 

[cotye]

Wow, that doesn't sound like the ideal job at all! At his age, he really should have a pension, retirement plan in place. And the money he's making... his work is so valuable and I'm sure he can get something else quite easily! Best of luck to you and your DH.

 

[Kteacher]

I can sympathize with you. My DH is a self-employed building contractor. It's hard hearing about paid vacation time and sick days-if he doesn't work he doesn't make any money. We can never travel between November and early April because he also has a snow plowing business. I try to look at the good things-he can make his own hours, he is good at what he does, he likes his work, and I've been lucky enough to find a job that I really enjoy that has health benefits ( the week I started my job we got a letter from our health care insurance company letting us know that our health insurance was going up to 1100.00 a month! ) . I hope things get better for you

 

[helenabear]

Big {{hugs}} to you. I really do hope something comes up for your DH to go to so that he can get better hours and hopefully better pay for what he does.

 

[tigercat]

Thanks everyone for your reply. It's nice to be able to say it and have people listen. Kteacher I can sympathize with you as well because I helped build the business (all of us kids did) because if the business didn't keep going we wouldn't have eaten. It is just that after I got married the business did really great but we have never seen any of the "good stuff" and we will never see any of it.
tigercat