Should we tell the kids?

[mouseymommy]

I honestly had never thought about it before, but your posts in this thread have made me want to take a trip to DL with just my wife. Being able to go where we want, when we want-- it sounds like sheer bliss!

Oh wow! Thanks! I hope you go. I bet you'd have a great time!

 

[pixiewings71]

I wouldn't lie to my kids. I also wouldn't go to Disneyland without them. What's the point?

The point is lost of those who must ask this question. lol Seriously, I go to DL without my kids, it's different without them, we get to do things very differently and you know what? It's fun.

Oh no no no no....no.

OP- it's not like you 2 are going to Cancun or something. This is Disneyland! No child would ever understand why Mommy & Daddy went without them....imagine how hurt they will be. And the fact that you are going to WDW in the near future will be no consolation.

When I was about 13 my Mom went to WDW on a business trip. She was a travel agent and got to go on "fam trip" all the time. I was beside myself because I simply could NOT understand why she didn't take us all with her. Yes, she sent us postcards (which just rubbed it in further!) and she brought us back nice gifts (which made me feel left out) and really tried to make us feel ok about it...but to be honest, at the time- I wish she had never told us where she went. As a kid, it would have been SO much easier had I never known what I was missing out on.

Of course now that I'm an adult, I totally get that she didn't choose to go all by herself to WDW. This was a legit business trip and now that I'm older, I can laugh at how silly my 13 yr old self was. But let me tell you...at the time, I was very upset with her.

what???? I've been to DL without my kids, we are 6 hours away, they knew we were going and they were staying home with the sitter (who they adore by the way), they had NO problem with it at all. AND they were younger than 13. They both said "have fun, bring us something!" and that was it.

 

[chrissiecutie]

The point is lost of those who must ask this question. lol Seriously, I go to DL without my kids, it's different without them, we get to do things very differently and you know what? It's fun.



what???? I've been to DL without my kids, we are 6 hours away, they knew we were going and they were staying home with the sitter (who they adore by the way), they had NO problem with it at all. AND they were younger than 13. They both said "have fun, bring us something!" and that was it.

Well...maybe its different since you live so close??

For me, my Mom went to WDW which is some place that I've always wanted to go & I still haven't been yet BTW. We are waiting until DS is 10.

I'm ALL for taking a couples trip without the kiddos. Lord knows DH & I NEED one!! However, personally- I wouldn't go to DL on a couples trip. I would want to go somewhere more romantic, but really...that's just me. I completely understand why some would want to go to DL without the kids, SO much easier!! But for me DL has & always will be a family place.

As for lying...well, I don't lie to my son. But some things he just doesn't need to know. As his parent, I reserve the right to not tell him everything. And I see nothing wrong with that. Us parents say & do things all the time to protect our children from hurt feelings, especially younger kids. This is really no different & to call it lying and make judgements on others for that is really just silly. We all do what we feel is "appropriate" for our own children. Each child is different and will react differently and only their parent knows what's best. OP will make the right choice for their kids.

 

[chrissiecutie]

My kids are 10, 5 and 2. They are not able to ride alone yet. I COULD take my kids to Blue Bayou for dinner, but it wouldn't be the same experience as going alone with my DH. We would be busy keeping our 2 year old from annoying other customers, cutting meat and we would be busy with them. I want to be able to do these things without the distraction of my kids. I ust don't see anything wrong with parents taking a trip to DL without their kids, and I believe kids need to learn they can't do everything. Like I said, when we told our kids we were going, they weren't upset.

MouseMommy- surely the 10 year old is old enough? I'm talking mainly about the smaller rides here...no way would I send a 10yr old alone on Space Mtn, but I would definately feel comfortable putting the 3 kiddos on Snow White or Winnie the Pooh by themselves. Is the 10 yr old responsible enough to watch the 2 year old? If you and DH ride separately and meet them at the end of the ride by the exit?? Usually with those types of rides you can 100% see the car in front of you, so you would have a visual of all 3 but still be able to cuddle with DH. hey- it may only be a 2-3 minute ride but sometimes we have to steal that alone time while we can.

And BB....oh no way would I take younger kiddos there and expect a romantic dinner. My parents tried to do that once with me & my sis & brother. Little brother passed out face down in his spaghetti- Mom said it was the most quiet she had the whole time.

If you had a relative or close family friend that could go with you, then maybe you & DH could have that romantic dinner for 2 at BB? Grandma could take the kids to eat someplace else & then you could all meet back up. Or something alone those lines....but that's assuming you have someone who would be willing to do that.

I get why some would want to experience Disney without kids. But for me, childhood goes SO quickly & I want to experience every moment of it with DS. We are on a limited budget & Disney is something we save up for, so if I'm going- I'm going with my entire family. But that's just me & my situation, everyone is different. And hey- if I had enough money to afford several Disney trips a year, then I might be swayed into going without DS...maybe.

 

[nicolispicoli]

This gets a little wacky to me, bottom line, your kids are your kids. Tell them what you want! In February, I went on an adults only weekend with my sister and a friend. We didn't take my DD1 and my sisters DS5, who always come with us. At first my sister didn't want to tell him, but when she did, he didn't really seem to care and just asked her to make sure she got him some gifts while we were there. Obviously I didn't have to tell my DD1, because she doesn't even know when she is there.

If you choose to tell your kids, not tell your kids, lie, don't lie, go for it, they're your kids. No judgment here...or at least there shouldn't be.

 

[chrissiecutie]

This gets a little wacky to me, bottom line, your kids are your kids. Tell them what you want! In February, I went on an adults only weekend with my sister and a friend. We didn't take my DD1 and my sisters DS5, who always come with us. At first my sister didn't want to tell him, but when she did, he didn't really seem to care and just asked her to make sure she got him some gifts while we were there. Obviously I didn't have to tell my DD1, because she doesn't even know when she is there.

If you choose to tell your kids, not tell your kids, lie, don't lie, go for it, they're your kids. No judgment here...or at least there shouldn't be.

Exactly!

We all do what we feel is right for our children. And lets face it...we as parents lie all the time. A prime example of this is Santa.

 

[nannyz]

Actually, we never told our kids that Santa was real. Why? Because I knew there would come a time when I would teach them about God and other important truths. And if I had lied to them about Santa, why should they believe me about these other things?
So we had Santa Daddy and it was all great fun. We sat out cookies and milk and the next day the kids would tell my husband that they knew he ate the cookies.
Anyway, my point is, don't lie to your kids. They will get enough of that from others. They will be able to handle the truth about your trip without them than they will the fact that you lied to them.
Have a good trip.

 

[chrissiecutie]

Actually, we never told our kids that Santa was real. Why? Because I knew there would come a time when I would teach them about God and other important truths. And if I had lied to them about Santa, why should they believe me about these other things?
So we had Santa Daddy and it was all great fun. We sat out cookies and milk and the next day the kids would tell my husband that they knew he ate the cookies.
Anyway, my point is, don't lie to your kids. They will get enough of that from others. They will be able to handle the truth about your trip without them than they will the fact that you lied to them.
Have a good trip.

Here's my take on Santa & for that matter, Mickey too. I 100% tell DS that they are real. Why? Because I want him to believe in magic. Our kids today grow up way too fast & the world is indeed a different place then it was 30 or 40 years ago. If we look at our life span on a chart, childhood is such a small part of our life. I want my child to dream big & believe in the impossible if only for a few short years.

I believe that alot of how we as parents choose to raise our children has to do with how we ourselves were raised. My Mother made Disney into a truely magical place. And to this day she still maintains that Santa is real. I am SO grateful to my parents for giving me this gift and I choose to pass this on to my DS. Just like I would imagine that when your kids are older, then may be grateful that you had Santa Daddy (super cute idea BTW!) and always were 100% honest with them.

My point is that we ALL do things differently as parents. My way isn't any better then your way or OP's way or any other PP's way. It's just different & that's ok.

I for one have enjoyed reading this thread and hearing from other's how they would or would not tell their kids about a solo trip to DL. It's certainly made me look forward to going one day without my own DS. Although, I imagine for me that will be when I'm old & gray.

I think we've gotten a bit off topic here discussing the moral ramifications of telling or not telling our kids about a trip to DL- its sure been interesting! Hopefully the OP has gained the perspective they were looking for in order to make a decision.

 

[pixiewings71]

Well...maybe its different since you live so close??

For me, my Mom went to WDW which is some place that I've always wanted to go & I still haven't been yet BTW. We are waiting until DS is 10.

I'm ALL for taking a couples trip without the kiddos. Lord knows DH & I NEED one!! However, personally- I wouldn't go to DL on a couples trip. I would want to go somewhere more romantic, but really...that's just me. I completely understand why some would want to go to DL without the kids, SO much easier!! But for me DL has & always will be a family place.

As for lying...well, I don't lie to my son. But some things he just doesn't need to know. As his parent, I reserve the right to not tell him everything. And I see nothing wrong with that. Us parents say & do things all the time to protect our children from hurt feelings, especially younger kids. This is really no different & to call it lying and make judgements on others for that is really just silly. We all do what we feel is "appropriate" for our own children. Each child is different and will react differently and only their parent knows what's best. OP will make the right choice for their kids.

Because we live so close? lol OK, I'm closer than you are in WA but 6 hours isn't that close. I mean I can't jump in the car and go after work, and it's not really worth it to make that drive unless I'm going to be there for at least 2 full days. BTW, I still haven't been to WDW and I'm 41! lol I stand by what I said, I don't think it's unreasonable for parents to go to the DL without their kids, just like I don't think it would be unreasonable for us to go to the beach without them, but that's the difference in our parenting styles and that's just fine with me.

 

[chrissiecutie]

Because we live so close? lol OK, I'm closer than you are in WA but 6 hours isn't that close. I mean I can't jump in the car and go after work, and it's not really worth it to make that drive unless I'm going to be there for at least 2 full days. BTW, I still haven't been to WDW and I'm 41! lol I stand by what I said, I don't think it's unreasonable for parents to go to the DL without their kids, just like I don't think it would be unreasonable for us to go to the beach without them, but that's the difference in our parenting styles and that's just fine with me.

LOL....ok, ok...maybe 6 hours isn't THAT close. But it sure is closer then 24!

I agree with you- I really don't see anything "wrong" with going anywhere without the kiddos. Really...I'm all for the OP taking a nice trip without them. My main point was that for me (and this is really just my preference) I wouldn't tell my son that I was going to his FAVORITE place without him because I feel that would be unnecessarily cruel & would hurt his feelings. It's like when my parents use to take us to Toys R Us to "window shop"

Some kids would have no problem with their parents going without them. Some will be upset...and I guess that's just the way it goes, right?

 

[pixiewings71]

LOL....ok, ok...maybe 6 hours isn't THAT close. But it sure is closer then 24!

I agree with you- I really don't see anything "wrong" with going anywhere without the kiddos. Really...I'm all for the OP taking a nice trip without them. My main point was that for me (and this is really just my preference) I wouldn't tell my son that I was going to his FAVORITE place without him because I feel that would be unnecessarily cruel & would hurt his feelings. It's like when my parents use to take us to Toys R Us to "window shop"

Some kids would have no problem with their parents going without them. Some will be upset...and I guess that's just the way it goes, right?

Definitely closer than 24.
My DD15 and I are going to DL in 2 weeks and 5 days, just the 2 of us, for her 16th birthday (we will in fact be GONE on her birthday, we will be in the parks that day), she's a Disney Fanatic, she'd go daily if she could, she's already planning her trip to DL Paris (and remember, she's only 15 lol), she didn't begrudge us our trips to DL without her. I'm one of the lucky ones, my kids don't care if I go without them because they know I'll take them someday, and they know I'll bring them back "stuff" and they like "stuff". LOL Too funny!!

 

[starshine514]

Actually, we never told our kids that Santa was real. Why? Because I knew there would come a time when I would teach them about God and other important truths. And if I had lied to them about Santa, why should they believe me about these other things?
So we had Santa Daddy and it was all great fun. We sat out cookies and milk and the next day the kids would tell my husband that they knew he ate the cookies.
Anyway, my point is, don't lie to your kids. They will get enough of that from others. They will be able to handle the truth about your trip without them than they will the fact that you lied to them.
Have a good trip.

This is our POV also, no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy (but, presents at Christmas, little stuff and egg hunt on Easter, money when you lose a tooth). I don't lie to my kids. I went to Orlando for a business trip (conference at the WDW resort), stayed onsite, spent one evening at the Magic Kingdom (our group had rented it as a private party), brought them souvenirs from DTD. They knew, they wanted to come but I explained to them that I would be in meetings all day and they were OK with it.

BTW - my one night at the MK, I cried while walking down Main Street, I missed them so much. I couldn't imagine going without them on purpose. So, just make sure you're totally ready to handle it.

 

[chrissiecutie]

BTW - my one night at the MK, I cried while walking down Main Street, I missed them so much. I couldn't imagine going without them on purpose. So, just make sure you're totally ready to handle it.

Aww...StarShine, I would cry too!

 

[chrissiecutie]

Definitely closer than 24.
My DD15 and I are going to DL in 2 weeks and 5 days, just the 2 of us, for her 16th birthday (we will in fact be GONE on her birthday, we will be in the parks that day), she's a Disney Fanatic, she'd go daily if she could, she's already planning her trip to DL Paris (and remember, she's only 15 lol), she didn't begrudge us our trips to DL without her. I'm one of the lucky ones, my kids don't care if I go without them because they know I'll take them someday, and they know I'll bring them back "stuff" and they like "stuff". LOL Too funny!!

That is SO special! What a fabulous birthday gift, Mom & daughter at the Happiest Place on Earth. Enjoy!!

 

[nannyz]

We were at the mall one time around Easter and the Easter Bunny was there, of course, with the kids sitting on his lap.
My granddaughter -- just a tiny little thing then -- looked at the rabbit and said, "Nanny, the Easter Bunny isn't real. No bunny could be that big."
So she solved the issue of the Easter Bunny herself!!
BTW, this has been a great discussion -- so nice to be able to discuss without getting nasty. Love the Disboards.

 

[arthur06]

We tell our kids when we go places without them. Whether it's to the movies and dinner or to WDW. Our kids are 11, 5, 3 right now and we are trying to teach them about honesty and appreciation. We don't intentionally withhold information from them, because when the day comes, we don't want them to do it to us.

There comes a point where mom and dad need a little adult time. It makes use better parents to know that we have a strong love and time for each other to.