Should I feel quilty abou this???

[pattyT]

A neighbor and I often carpool for school -
and if the kids are in the same activity (which they are not this year)
and i was annoyeda few times when she would not tell me that one of her 2 dd's had a 'friend' coming over of with her at an activity.
Would not have been a big deal but I do have 3 kids and with her 2 I am up to 6 of us in a car assuming noonle else is with me. (she would do this before I had a minivan too and I would be illegally stuffing kids into my Impala without seatbelts!)
SO this year at the beginning of school when we were discussing our schedual (she does mornings on her way to work and I do afternoon pick up) I told her that I couldn't take the friends too.
So today is a half day and she JUST called me to tell me that HER father is goign to pick up HER girls cause one of them has a friend...
the way it was said relaly made me feel like crap about it...
should I?

 

[Pop Daddy]

yep, call her up and tell her your sorry.

 

[NMAmy]

No, what you've told her is perfectly reasonable and you gave her plenty of notice.

DH always tells me that it's my choice to feel guilty or not and I find that's helped me get rid of some of those guilty feelings. If I've done nothing wrong, I choose not to feel guilty.

 

[Barb D]

You should NOT feel guilty. She SHOULD be getting someone else to drive her kids if she's adding an extra and she knows you don't have enough seatbelts.

 

[Beth76]

There's no way you should be driving her friends home without notice. Do the other parents even know you. They may not like it either. Especially because you may not have enough seats.

 

[bananiem]

Do NOT feel guilty.

 

[WDWMom]

Nope, don't feel guilty Patty. I wouldn't expect my carpool person to bring home my kid's guest. I would swap times with you if it were me.

 

[luvmy2sams]

Absolutely not!

 

[holycow]

Patty, look at it this way....If she didn't call you and the friend came too and you got into an accident...who would be sorrier!...You did the right thing and who cares how snotty she is!! It was rude of her to assume you would take her kids and everyone elses too.!

Holycow

 

[kadaten]

Uh, no, you should not feel guilty.

Does the friend's parent even know they are riding with someone other than the kid's mom? I tend to be pretty laid back about things, but I sure as heck would NOT be happy if my kid was being pawned off on someone else, especially if it was someone I didn't know!

If the friend's mom does know she rides with other people, then that's all fine and dandy, but you laid down the ground rules at the beginning of the year. It's not up to you to ensure her daughter has friends available for playdates....you simply agreed to take turns transporting each other's kids!

 

[disykat]

Do NOT feel guilty. You would be responsible for a child you don't even know if there was a problem. The seatbelt issue is HUGE IMO. I would not take a child I didn't have a seatbelt for - period. If you happen to have an extra child with you and all of a sudden unplanned "friends" appear, you would be right back to that issue.

Carpools are by invitation of the driver only IMO. If she called ahead and asked if you were able that would be a different story.

 

[janette]

No, you shouldn't feel guilty. I wouldn't be happy at all if I knew one of my kids was in a car without enough seatbelts. If I'd have been the one picking up and they overfilled my car I might have done it once but never again. She shouldn't expect it.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I wouldn't. I would just say I understand. Maybe she is wanting you to feel guilty.

 

[Cantw8]

There's no way you should be driving her friends home without notice. Do the other parents even know you. They may not like it either. Especially because you may not have enough seats.

I agree with Beth.

 

[pattyT]

Ya know You all are right -
Thanks for reconfirming that I am not losing my mind -
and that I am not being unrealistic