Shiva Question

[Louise-Montreal]

I am not Jewish, and I recently attended a shiva for a dear friend's mother. When we arrived a prayer service was going on- all the men were praying in the living room. There were a few women involved in the prayer service but most women were in the kitchen. As the prayer service was going on, most women were talking in the kitchen. Is this normal? I felt it was rude- but then I realized perhaps it would not be considered rude.

So my question- is that typical behaviour?

Thanks,
Louise

 

[JennyMominRI]

I am not Jewish, and I recently attended a shiva for a dear friend's mother. When we arrived a prayer service was going on- all the men were praying in the living room. There were a few women involved in the prayer service but most women were in the kitchen. As the prayer service was going on, most women were talking in the kitchen. Is this normal? I felt it was rude- but then I realized perhaps it would not be considered rude.

So my question- is that typical behaviour?

Thanks,
Louise

are they Orthdox or even Conservative Jews? It's traditional to seperate men from women in prayer..Contrary to popular belief is has nothing to do with women not being *worthy * of praying with women

 

[Louise-Montreal]

I know for sure they are not Orthodox- not sure whether they are conservative. My friend's husband does not wear a yarmullke- but I do know they celebrated Shabbos every Friday at her mom's house.

Just to clarify- my question is- Was the talking rude? I found it rude for people to be talking during a prayer service- but then thought that if the women were not a part of the prayer service, they would be "allowed" to talk.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I know for sure they are not Orthodox- not sure whether they are conservative. My friend's husband does not wear a yarmullke- but I do know they celebrated Shabbos every Friday at her mom's house.

It's hard to guess from that what movement they are a part of..I know Reform Jews that celebrate Shabbos..It's sounds like they may be Conservative, Conservatives,If that makes sense.

 

[Louise-Montreal]

Jenny- did you see my addition to my original answer?

 

[JennyMominRI]

Jenny- did you see my addition to my original answer?

I think so..The part where you aske dif it is rude? If so no,It's not considered rude. It's considered the norm for them to pray seperately..The fact that some women were praying there leads me to think the are not Orthodox.


Ok,I just saw what you were talking about..Sorry..I'm actually not sure about that.. I think it might be rude to talk if they were in the same room..Maybe someone who is more experienced with more traditional forms of Judaism ca answer.. I wonder if the men were doing their regular moring davening ,or if it was Kaddish or what.

 

[Louise-Montreal]

But was it rude for the women in the kitchen to be talking while the prayer service was going on in the living room?

Thanks, Jenny

 

[JennyMominRI]

But was it rude for the women in the kitchen to be talking while the prayer service was going on in the living room?

Thanks, Jenny

Just saw.I added to my post too..
It's way to early for me to think clearly

 

[lewdyan1]

IMO I don't feel it was rude. I am conservative and my husband just sat shiva for his father a few months ago. And yes, one night there were a couple of people in the kitchen talking while the service was being held. The other night, everyone was in the living room listening/praying. Some people are not comfortable with the tradition of the praying, and feel better waiting out of the room.
If they were being loud and disruptive, then yes that would be considered rude!

Remember, these are just my opinions!

 

[princess pooh]

I don't think it was rude. When my grandmother died I remember chatting with my friends in the kitchen while the prayer was going on. I was heartbroken and they were trying to distract me. There were seven nights of prayers so sometimes I listened and sometimes I sat with my cousin or friends.

 

[Louise-Montreal]

Thanks, guys!