Share your teenager advice here....

[ckay87]

...please??

My oldest DS is turning 13 tomorrow.

So how about in the spirit of the occasion you send me all your best advice as I head into my "teen parenting" years. Bring it on...I'll take it!


BTW...we're celebrating by going to Aerosmith in Philly tomorrow night...how cool is that for a 13th birthday!

 

[Sandy V.]

Congratulations! Aerosmith sounds like a great way to celebrate.

Welcome to the new territory. Teenagers are a breed unto themselves. Mine are 17 (DD) and 15 (DS).

Here are some of our "rules" in no particular order.

1. If you are married/with significant other, always present a united front in your decisions/discipline of your kids. If you don't, teens learn early to play one parent off the other, and that's a recipe for family and relationship disasters.

2. In imposing rules/curfews, it's always easier to start out "tough" and then lighten up at a later date, rather than be too lenient at the start and then have to reign them in later. I learned this one the hard way, and I DON'T recommend that route!

3. Backtalk and rolling of eyes is NOT permitted. Parental disrespect in not permitted. Teens can disagree with their parents and can voice their opinions, but there are acceptable ways to do it, and unacceptable ways to do it.

4. Our house, our rules. We have the right to decide what goes on under our roof and what comes in and out of here, including other kids, music, music videos, movies, video games, instant messaging, e-mails, blogs, etc. We won't monitor you at every turn, but we have the discretion to check in on you at random.

5. You must let us know where you are going at all times, with whom, and when you will return home.

6. You are a member of our family, and you will help out around the house and regularly participate in family meals and activities. Please respect our property and appreciate the fact that we let you use expensive items because we trust you to take care of them (cars, cell phones, etc.).

7. Homework always comes first before social activities.

8. Always let your teens know that you love them. Frequent hugs and kisses are good. Ask them questions about their school day, their friends, homework - anything to start and keep a dialogue so you know what's going on in their lives and what they're thinking. Get to know who they hang out with and their parents, if possible.

That's off the top of my head - this parenting stuff is not for sissies, is it?
Good Luck!!

 

[Galahad]

send me all your best advice as I head into my "teen parenting" years. Bring it on...I'll take it!

Drink Wine

 

[CajunDixie]

Choose your battles wisely. For example Jr. is 15 minutes late getting home.......no biggie. Jr is an hour late and doesn't call even though he has a cell phone........that's a biggie. Jr gets a bad test grade.....not a biggie. Jr gets 2 bad test grades.......that's a biggie.

And don't forget to constantly stress no drinking, drugs or alcohol!!!!! Show or tell them what happens to kids that get in accidents and die because of drugs and alcohol. Tell them how Uncle John Doe is going to have a long slow death because of lung cancer.

Have a sense of humour!!!!!! Sometimes you just have to laugh! And having the occasional glass of wine helps too.

 

[WIcruizer]

And don't forget to constantly stress no drinking, drugs or alcohol!!!!!

I disagree. It has more to do with your relationship with your kids. Do they respect and want to plesse you more than pleasing the crowd? You can say "no" all you want but utimately they will have to make these choices. They will choose wisely more often than not if they are a member of a stable, loving family.

We almost never mentioned anything about alcohol, drugs, and smoking with our oldest DD. She made it through HS without doing any of those things because she had no interest in any of it, and realized they were poor choices.

 

[WIcruizer]

My advice, in addition to some great ideas above, is KNOW HIS FRIENDS. He IS who they are. If you don't like what you're seeing and hearing from them (or about them) you need to understand he isn't running with a "bad crowd" he's PART of that bad crowd. I mention this because I see so many parents who won't accept this. It's always...my little Johnny is a good boy, it's just those others who cause problems.

 

[LBAK]

Learn to say the word no and stick to it.

Ex. But Mooooom, Sally can stay out tl 1:00 can I?
NO
But Mooooom, Everyone s going to that house party, can I?
NO
But Mooooom, everyone has their belly button pierced can I"
NO, NO, NO

You get the idea. No is a really hard word to learn I found out. Especially in the teenage years! Good luck

 

[Marseeya]

Drink Wine

I prefer a splash or two of Dr. McGillicuddy.

 

[DISJAZZ]

Electric shock collars. Not strong enough to hurt them, but enough to make their knees buckle. They come in a nice assortment of colors now for those worried about fashion.