I understand scanxiety all too well. Having had cancer, twice, I'm like a professional patient. That's my job, Drs appts, tests, and scans.I have had a couple of questionable mammograms. Had to have a few ultrasounds on my left breast, but thankfully, have not needed to have a biopsy. You just basically, have to do it, and just push through.
I have had panic attacks at the Drs office when I have had to have biopsies on other areas. My cancers were oral/HNC and a gynecological cancer. So I've had to have many, many biopsies in my mouth and in another area, an extremely sensitive area. And that, freaking hurts. I'm even scared with the ones in my mouth, because with first biopsy on my tongue, the Novocain wore off when he was stitching up my tongue. OMG. So, I kind of feel like, I'm getting worse, and more scared, because I know how bad these things can hurt. Like someone else wrote, if something is there, ignoring it, will not make it go away. If anything, catching it earlier, will most likely be of benefit to you. With my head and neck cancer, I was stage four, I had to have radiation, and let me tell you, not fun. With my gynecological cancer, I had two disfiguring and invasive surgeries, that sucked, but thankfully it was not a worse stage and I didn't need rads or chemo.
My only advice is to just push through and go. Maybe you have a supportive friend that can go with you? I don't really have anyone to come with me and that can be hard. I try and listen to my favorite music on the way there. Also, when I go to the dentist, he doesn't mind if I put in ear buds and listen to music.
Sending you a big hug.
Two years ago I got a call back for a second look. The radiologist came out after and said I had a small growth, and it is most likely cancer. I tried not to freak out but all I could think about was dying. I had it removed and it had not spread to my lymph nodes and I had clean margins. All this was very good. I still needed radiation but no chemo. When I was done with treatment they said "Congratulations you are a cancer survivor." It was the scariest thing I've ever been through and it forced me deal with "what if I'm going to die?" Surprisingly, I was able to maintain hope while planning for my own death, just it case it didn't go well. Every time the doctor came in, I was expecting bad news. There is nothing to compare it to. I began to think, is it better to know that your death could be coming compared to it being a surprise? You can't imagine where your mind will take you. That all being said, they have really good treatment for cancer today, and people survive! So even the bad news, may not be bad because the treatment has come such a long way. I am grateful every single day that I'm going to have more time on this earth.
. The good thing is I didn't have to have a follow up ultrasound after because they can see a lot better with the 3D. I'm going back to the normal one this year because its not covered. I'm planning on a couple hours of anxiety while I wait to get both tests done (they do all tests same day which I love).
I guess I'll just grit my teeth and fork the money over in order to avoid all the BS.
I am a 14 yr BC Survivor. I have had some rough times related to my diagnosis and treatment, but I deal with it. This year, thanks to my insurance company, I have to go somewhere else for my mammogram, or pay a $100 deductible to continue to go where I've gone for the last 13 years, since the previous place I went (where they want me to go back to now) misdiagnosed a menstrual related change on my mammogram and sent me into three weeks of hell literally just after my year's worth of treatment had ended, which caused me to think I was a goner if something had grown through all that. I do not want to go back there, so I have to decide how important that $100 - and the principle of it - is to me to continue to go to the place I've been going all along. I'm angry I am even being put in this situation after all I've managed to make it through already. Talk about bringing me back to those days! The thing is, I have all sorts of weird things leftover in my breast from my treatment, and the place I've been going knows this, so they work around it. (I'm usually dozing off in the waiting room, slightly anxious, while many people around me come and go; it takes them a while to read it, and at least two radiologists have to sign off on it right then and there. But it's such a nice feeling when they come in and say everything is ok.) I'm worried that if I go to a new place, they're going to freak out again and I'm going to be back on the biopsy table and what not. Ugh. My oncologist isn't supportive of my going to the place I've always gone anymore since their groups are no longer affiliated.
OP, glad things worked out for you.
You know I'm gunna, TMM. Add it to the list!Pay the hundred PEA.
