Seriously? 38 is old?

[Glendamax]

Ok, I am a single 38 yr old mother and why is it so hard to find a decent gentleman? Just someone to meet, enjoy conversation, get to know each other and then MAYBE, EVENTUALLY have a relationship.

I WISH I knew the answer to that! Sometimes I think there are things about myself that I need to get together first before God sends him.

I'm not that much younger than you, so I also think 38 is NOT old!

Hang in there girl! I'm waiting/looking too!

 

[fabshelly]

My bf is one year younger than me, and treats me like a goddess. He lives in CA and I live in Hawaii, and I think MSN messenger has to take vitamins from how much we use it.

 

[SandraVB79]

38 is not old, my DBF is 44 (I'm 27) and that's not old, although I like to tell him once in a while that he's old I'm so bad

Really, it's not old. But like my mom used to tell me: you won't meet Mr Right in your living room, you have to go out! And no, that doesn't mean you have to party every night.
I made an assessment of my "wishes" related to men, and I tried to match that with my interests, and so I joined a golf club. There, I was kind of sure I would meet the kind of man I was looking for, while having a hobby that I liked. I didn't go with the idea that "I needed a man", I went with the idea that I was going to have fun and perhaps meet interesting people. AFter a couple of weeks, I met J., and a year later, he was my DBF! Next to that, I met lots of other friends, and had/ have a lot of fun.

Maybe you could also join a club of something that interests you, that way, you'll meet people that share at least one interest with you!

 

[epcotfan]

38 is NOT old. However, this is a tough age range. I'm 34 and dread the prospects. Most men in this age bracket are either divorced, seperated, or have kids. Sorry, but I don't want any of that. I'm finding it very difficult to meet anyone who has never been married and doesn't have children. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places.

ETA: OP Perhaps if you join a group/hobby that suits your interests you might meet someone.

 

[JunieJay]

One of my good friends has reentered the dating scene at 42 and had many of the same gripes as you do. She said all the guys her age have serious baggage but at the same time want someone much younger, like in their 20s. Her solution to the problem is to go younger herself. She is currently dating a 28 year old man and has never been happier. Maybe it would work for you too?

 

[MushyMushy]

Along the lines of what JunieJay is saying, are you maybe passing over some nice guys because they are too old or too young? Would you be open to someone in his 20s or 50s?

 

[Principessa Alba]

Define old.

I don't know, I appreciate your frustration in dating, and I'm sure that you'll meet someone. Can I make some observations about friends I have that are going through what you are? Keep in mind that I don't know you and i'm not saying that you are doing what they are doing. And keep in mind I'd probably make the same mistakes they are. But just as an observer I think the women I know, while they are by no means "old", are not very self aware about their own ages.

These are women closer to 50, so take this for what it's worth since you are much younger, but my friends, while not too old to date, are not interested in the men their own age and older. They say that men want younger girls, and there are men like that, but when a man their age is interested in them, they don't give them a chance. (They actually say things like, "They are too old." And "They have too much baggage". I hardly ever say what I'm thinking, but one really good friend I have, I did say it - "Hey, you're old and you have baggage too!!!!"
And she's not old, old, but she's not in her 20's either. She's started to dress a little less than age appropriate and is trying to talk like 20 somethings - it's not attractive.

I've seen women my age reject perfectly nice men our age and then cry that there is "nobody".

I'm not saying you are doing this, but I just thought it was worth mentioning that you just have to keep an open mind about men. And I know it's easy for me to say, since I don't have to deal with it, so like I said, take it for what it's worth.

 

[NMAmy]

I started dating DH as a single mom when I was 36. I met him at work and we've been together ever since. DD adores him and even odder, my mom loves him (and she's never liked anyone my sisters and I have dated or married!)

It'll happen. Usually when you least expect it.

 

[*Fantasia*]

38 in not old! Why.. cause I'm 38!! I'm just like you.. a single mom (widow) of two. Clubbing or hanging out at a bar is not my scene. Going online is probably the best bet. You just have to be real careful. Or those "datingdotcom" websites might work too. Good luck.

 

[ransom]

I'll be 38 in a few weeks, yet I'm the youngest person in the 30-person corporate office at which I work!

 

[SandraVB79]

38 is NOT old. However, this is a tough age range. I'm 34 and dread the prospects. Most men in this age bracket are either divorced, seperated, or have kids. Sorry, but I don't want any of that. I'm finding it very difficult to meet anyone who has never been married and doesn't have children. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places.

They do exist though, DBF is 44, has never been married and doesn't have kids. Separated? I don't really understand what you mean with that, but if it means he has had previous relationships: I surely hope he has. If he were 44 and no previous relationships, there would be something terribly wrong, lol!
Also, if they are divorced, and it's a "clean" divorce, i.e. no fight still going on with ex and so, why should this matter?

 

[littleclover]

OP here and I just read through all this great advice. Well today is a new day and feeling much better. I think sometimes we all have to take a moment to feel a bit blue to kick ourselves in the **** and get in gear. I do try to keep my options open and will continue to do so. I know I will meet someone down the road.

I hope everyone has a great day!

 

[hiwaygal]

I just found this thread and I haven't read all the responses yet (just kinda skimmed)...

I met my DH 4 years ago...and we were married last year...I was 40 and he was 44...it was the first marriage for both of us.

They are out there...not easy to find, but it only took me about 6 months of online dating to find him...and I am one VERY lucky person

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Hi, there! I'm a single mom and it is sooo tough to find a good man when you have children. I started dating a wonderful man last year and I know we'll spend the rest of our lives together. He treats me like a princess and loves my daughter as his own. I had to kiss many frogs before I found my prince, so don't give up!

 

[Robinrs]

Like you I put my love life on hold to raise my son. He was 12 when I met my current boyfriend, who is now 42. I swear, they're the SAME AGE!

I'm 50 and am at a strange age. I get hit on by men over 60 and men around 40. I've YET to find a man MY AGE!! LOL!!

I love telling the younger ones that my son is about their age... I love the look on their faces!

No, 38 is NOT old, but of course, everything is relative. I remember when I was about to have my son at 36 my doctor told me "YOU're not old, but your ovaries ARE..."

 

[Serena]

At this point, I've been seperated and divorced over 5 years now. I think when I'm comfortable being alone and happy within myself is when something will happen.
In the meantime, I do get propositioned, I think it's like a hobby to some men. Like fishing, just to see what will bite.

 

[joshsmom]

We could be sisters!!! I'll be 38 in December and haven't dated since my divorce almost 10 years ago!!!! I truly have not found ANYONE that isn't a wack job!!! It's pretty sad when my 10 year old son tells me I need to find a date!!!!

 

[littleclover]

We could be sisters!!! I'll be 38 in December and haven't dated since my divorce almost 10 years ago!!!! I truly have not found ANYONE that isn't a wack job!!! It's pretty sad when my 10 year old son tells me I need to find a date!!!!

Oh did this make me laugh!!!!! My DS told me the same thing, I need to find someone so I can get married. I know part of that is wanting to have a father figure in his life since he does not have contact with his father. I just keep telling him, soon enough.

 

[Serena]

Oh did this make me laugh!!!!! My DS told me the same thing, I need to find someone so I can get married. I know part of that is wanting to have a father figure in his life since he does not have contact with his father. I just keep telling him, soon enough.

Mine too

Oh, I have to add. My oldest will be 21 next month. She's already planning on taking me places. Apparently she knows about some bars and clubs that might be fun.
My child is scary sometimes.