School policy for young kids going to the bathroom?

[Papa Deuce]

My one daughter has to go pee about every 2.5 hours or so. She has been checked medically and is fine. But she also was told by the doctor that she needs to drink 16 ounces of water a day at school to help with her occasional bouts of constipation.. She has a school supplied water bottle.

Anyway, I just found out tonight that my daughter peed her pants 2x last week, and, at least according to my daughter, the reason it happened is:

"Because Miss Z takes a star away every time you have to go to the bathroom when it isn't recess or lunch".... The stars translate into "prizes" on Friday if you get enough of them.

So, my daughter doesn't want to lose stars. So, tonight we had a chat with her and told her that going to the bathroom, and not wetting her pants was far more important than getting a star. But you know how much young kids thrive on getting stars.......

But, on top of that, I just found out that my daughter's best friend has peed her pants a few times a week for 3 weeks. Now, I don't know if she is OK medically or not, but I do know that she uses our bathroom just about every hour when she visits.

I understand the need not to have kids going to the bathroom all willy nilly.... Both girls in the class are 7.

I don't think that this is the best way to handle this if it results in kids wetting their pants. Just to clarify, the kids can go if they need to; they are not told that they can't go. I'm just wondering if there is a better way.

How is it handled in your schools?

 

[Purrrrfecta]

I've got some your daughter's age, and I just let them go when they need to. Sorry to be graphic, but you can smell them when they have a problem with leaking etc. If you DD's teacher is perceptive they should be able to point this out. There are a lot of kids who take advantage of the bathroom situation.

I would just write a note to the teacher and explain her fear of losing straws for using the bathroom. The teacher should be understanding. Also make sure you tell them that she has to drink 16 oz of water. Children have small bladders. When I let them go outside and they drink water they have to go within twenty minutes!!!!

I think all should be well in your situation.

 

[mytwotinks]

That's a horrible policy. I have a daughter with kidney/bladder problems and I know first hand how important it is for a kid to go when they need to and go often.

I hate to nag teachers, but I do think I would ask that my daughter not lose privledges for going potty. That seems odd.

I'm sure that there are isolated cases when a child needs to be reminded not to take advantage, but if your kid is really going to the bathroom because she needs to she should not be losing anything.

I always have the rule with my kids that they have to try everytime there is a class opportunity. Maybe if she did that she wouldn't have to leave class so much. But, I still think she should go when she needs too!

 

[Aristomommy]

Wow, I can't believe a teacher would withhold a prize due to bladder function. My DD9 has irritable bowel syndrome and has to go quite often some days. Because it's a medical condition, she has a pass to go whenever, but the rest of the kids can also go when they ask. Her teacher has so many passes to hand out at one time, so the girls or boys don't congregate in the bathroom

I think it is absolutely unacceptable that 7 year olds are peeing their pants for the fear that their star is taken away. I would approach the teacher first and explain your issues with this policy. If it's a school wide policy, I would contact the principal. Since your DD is not the only one this happened to, contact other parents to see if they share your concern.

 

[CajunDixie]

Time for a talk with the teacher! At the beginning of the school year teachers always seem to have these great schemes to make perfect little soldiers out of our children. All it takes is a couple of parents to have a talk with them and tell them the students are children. You can't set body functions to a clock.

I remember when our middle school tried rewarding the students with play money to be cashed in at the end of each semester for movie day, pop, candy,..... If you misbehaved you handled over that's days allowance. One kid that was always a problem thought it was great...slap a kid upside the head and hand over your $5 for the day. No ISS, no parent call, no detention...simply lose your fake money. Don't do your homework....hand over your fake money & get an extra day. Needless to say that program only lasted 2 years!

 

[Goofycampers]

ITA When my DS was younger I met with the teacher about this very issue. While he didn't wet himself he admitted that he was only "allowed" to use the restroom at lunch and recess. We live in the south where it is warm much of the year and kids need to stay hydrated and will need to go often. I'm a nurse and I told her this was unhealthy and insisted he be allowed to go when he needed to. I should also add my DS is shy and never would have gone to the restroom just to get out of class. After meeting with her it was never and issue again.

 

[SRICE100]

This is so developmentally inappropriate!!

I would question how much this teacher understands about the age group she is working with. At the end of the day, this really is an issue that needs to be addressed. It is harmful for children to "hold it" until they are wetting their pants, as well as not good for their self esteem.

 

[maelstrom]

I don't believe in a school telling any child that they *cannot* use the restroom. A child should not have to ask permission to do a basic human function. This goes for elementary school all the way up through college.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would bring in a note from the Dr and then talk to the teacher and tell her that it is unacceptable to use that sort of system!
When I was in 4th grade my teacher was a real witch. She would march us all down the hall at a certain time and we all got to use the bathroom but that was IT for the day so if you didn't go then or didn't have to you were screwed for the rest of the day(there was no going at lunch or recess either). After exiting the bathroom you could take one drink from the water fountain too. Well every day after lunch I had to use the bathroom and after about 10 days the next time I had to go she announced to the class "well you seem to have a bathroom problem so now no more going until you bring in a Dr's note saying you have a problem and then you can go"- well the next day I wet my pants and the following day I had a note in hand form the Dr and my mom saying I could go whenever I wanted and the Dr's note said that I should walk out of class and go if I felt the need. I rememeber the Dr being appalled when I told him about the bathroom march and the once a day thing. Oh and if you took to long in the bathroom you were not permitted to use the water fountain.
That was the year I started to really hate school- I still cringe when I look at a picture of that teacher! Funny thing is that my daughter goes to that school and I was talking to a old teacher there and mentioned that I had that teacher and the teachers response was "oh man that lady even scared ME as a teacher here!" so imagine what she did to a room of little children.

 

[Kimberle]

That is NOT an acceptable policy. Sounds like a young, inexperienced teacher. Rewards should not be given/taken based on going to the bathroom. You should talk with the teacher and or principal.

Our school has bathrooms in each classroom for grades k-2. They don't need to go in the hall bathroom.

 

[golfgal]

I totally understand the domino effect of one kids goes the ALL have to go. It can be quite disruptive in the class. I think the star thing is not appropriate and she needs to just control the bathroom issue. It isn't all that hard to figure out when kid really needs to go. For your DD and her friend, perhaps they should be seated near the door so they can quietly slip out as needed. By not having to ask the teacher, other kids won't really notice if they get up and leave quietly as long as they are not abusing that.

 

[Cindy B]

My school is very strict on the bathroom use. Because of vandalism and physcial threats to students, the bathroom remains locked during the day and each classroom has a scheduled time to use it. (I work at an inner city school) My class has two times-- once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

The students also need an escort to the bathroom at all times.

If it isn't your time, well-- too bad. I'm not fond of this policy, but that is the policy where I am. I follow the school rules and this is one of them.

 

[kaylajr]

I would talk to the teacher.
That is an insane policy

Here the kids aren't Allowed to go except at certain times..well that just doesn't work with alot of kids My DD has had stomach issues her whole life and when she needs to go she NEEDS TO GO NOW!!
We got a note from her Dr to let her out of class to go whenever necessary without any problem or ramifications. Works pretty good DD doesn't abuse it and most teachers are OK once they see the note we had one issue last year with a teacher but one call to the guidence office fixed that

Good luck to you....

 

[Par8hed]

I told my son long ago that if he "has to" go, raise your hand and ask politely.

If the teacher refuses, explain that you "really need to go".

If the teacher still refuses and he "has to" go.......then get up and go.

I will deal with the teacher/principal later.

I can remember from my school days where a classmate had an accident and they were endlessly teased about it for years.

Not gonna happen to my kid.

 

[aprilgail2]

My school is very strict on the bathroom use. Because of vandalism and physcial threats to students, the bathroom remains locked during the day and each classroom has a scheduled time to use it. (I work at an inner city school) My class has two times-- once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

The students also need an escort to the bathroom at all times.

If it isn't your time, well-- too bad. I'm not fond of this policy, but that is the policy where I am. I follow the school rules and this is one of them.

And this is legal?? Is this grade school or high school?? I would have major issues with this "rule" if it was my daughter grade school. Some kids have "issues" where they can't go on demand- when my godson was having chemo he would have to go very often (sometimes once and hour!) so no way would this have worked for him. What do you do when they have to go and it is not their scheduled time? Do they just pee in a wastebasket in the class??

 

[java]

Does she need to drink 16 ounces of water at school? That would make me have to pee a lot too!
Can she drink maybe half at school and half at home?

I can understand your frustration and I understand why the teacher is trying to keep everyone from abusing bathroom time. It's first grade though and the teacher should be trusting that WHEN someone says they have to go they HAVE TO GO!

I would send a note and point out that my daughter had 2 accidents as a result of this policy and is there some other way to handle it- like perhaps another "predetermined" time that she could use the restroom. 2.5 hours- so she pees before school. Isn't recess and lunch at the same time? Don't they have a mid morning potty break? So she is supposed to hold it from 8-11?
I am not a fan of the stars for holding it either. I think if you let the teacher know that her policy is backfiring she will work to change it. Let her know!

In my note I would NOT mention the other girl. Let her parents handle that one.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I told my son long ago that if he "has to" go, raise your hand and ask politely.

If the teacher refuses, explain that you "really need to go".

If the teacher still refuses and he "has to" go.......then get up and go.

I will deal with the teacher/principal later.

I can remember from my school days where a classmate had an accident and they were endlessly teased about it for years.

Not gonna happen to my kid.

Same here.

Now my dd is in middle school they have to take a tardy. If she gets enough, she gets a detention. I told her then well then get a detention.
If they come to me complaining, I will tell them that my kid has to use the restroom. If they don't like it....tough.
Of course it isn't about peeing...she cannot hold that or she will have an accident.
But of course we told her to walk out and go.

I would have a conference due to the fact my kid has peed her pants due to her "stars".

 

[teacups]

How sad. These poor kids. The teacher rewards bigger bladders? Insane.

 

[kinntj]

The only time the teacher discourages going to the bathroom in my Dd's classroom (1st grade) is when they are sitting in grapes. Once they are at their tables doing the work they can go whenever they want. Sitting in grapes is when she explains the work that will be done at the table and how to do it. I guess they can still go to the bathroom when on the floor, but then they have to raise their hands to go.

I have to admit to peeing my pants in the 2nd grade for awhile, because my teacher wouldn't let me go. I had no problems before that grade or after, it was just that one teacher. My mom had to make calls to get that straightened out and after that I was fine. Talk about humiliating for a kid to go through.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I have a few questions. How old is your dd? Is the a pre-school or is it elementary school? Either way the child should be able to go to the bathroom as many times as needed and that star thing is stupid. I also want to know how she peed her pants twice last week and you didn't know? Didn't she come home wet or in different clothes than she went to school in? I would have a chat with the teacher. If you don't get satisfactory results then talk to the director or principal. If that is the policy and it is a pre-school I would pull my kid out and report them to the state. If it is an elementary school I would go up the chain of command to the Super. and then again report it to the state if it is not rectified. Good luck.