Scared - My BFF won't enjoy it as much as me :(

[missxjess]

At the end of September my best friend and I are going on a trip to SoCal. We are staying in Anaheim and have a 4day park hopper to DL.

The thing is, this is her first vacation ever and I'm scared she's not going to enjoy the magic of Disney as much as I am. As for me, I've been counting down since I booked the trip in June and since I'm devoting all of my money to it, I am constantly talking about it. She is so opposite of me when it comes to being excited. So many things have failed for her so she told me "best not to get my hopes up and get all excited." In fact she gets annoyed at my excitement and we've even fought about it. I have put soooo much time and effort into this and I just don't want to be let down by her reaction. She DOESN'T like rides but I've explained to her a million times that DL's rides are some of the most unique rides in the world with each one telling a story.

My impression is that everyone can find SOMETHING to love about DL so that's what I'm hoping happens. Who knows, maybe she'll love it all.

Originally, I was going to ask a question about doing something special for her when we get there...or just giving her a little gift or something. She didn't seem to enthused about the character call or the 1st time button but I wanted to get her something to show her that I love her, we're at DL and we're going to have the time of our lives.

Any suggestions? Thanks for listening to my little "rant" I guess you could call it.

 

[YellowMickeyPonchos]

I know it's hard, but they best gift you could get her at first is to take a step back - don't push. If you've fought about your excitement in the past, it will only get worse on the trip and that is something you don't want and it could lead to the ending of the friendship. (Been there, done that - got the t-shirt...) Let me explain....

Remember how magical it was for you the first time you went? Did you have some one be your personal Tour Guide, or did you discover it on your own?

Let her experience the first time magic through her own eyes - not yours. You can tell her all you want, but it won't soak in. Try to calmly and quietly hang back as you start the trip and when you enter the parks. Don't rush her. Slow down and listen to what she has to say. Let her go first and pick and choose. You don not want her to think you are dragging her around - let her drag you!

If you really want to get her a physical gift, see what it is that she notices. Maybe it could be as simple as getting a PhotoPass portrait of the two of you enjoying your trip!

Hope that helps. I feel your pain, but all I can do to help you is give you the lessons I have learned the hard way.

 

[MommyLove]

You are a sweet friend!

I have to agree with YMP... try to ease off on the excitement level around her. I'll bet she's afraid she won't enjoy it as much as you and that that would disappoint you. She probably can't imagine that there's any way possible that she'd love it like you do and that's surely intimidating her.

What do you think she would enjoy most of all when you get there? Try to do that first and let her lead the way in the beginning so at least you know it's something she's interested in.

What are her favorite things to do? Fasvorite movies? Now how can you translate that to how you spend your time (at leat at first) at Disneyland?

 

[Empico]

Communicate to her what you want to do (not all at once, but as you go along) and why you like doing it. If she's not interested go ahead and do it on your own while she shops or rests or whatever it is people who don't like the rides like to do. It may just be people watching. She may need some alone time to soak up the magic without being pushed.
My husband of 38 years is finally taking me without the kids or grandkids for the first time. He doesn't enjoy much of it but he says he'll enjoy watching me enjoy it all.
So remember it is what it is and have a good time yourself as a good example.

 

[CrazyDuck]

You need a new BFF. I'm sure you can find someone on these boards that shares your passion for the mouse!

 

[NicksMommy]

OMG! I hear you, disney is the best! My husband has never gone with my DS and I before, various reasons... I dunno the deal anyway this year is the first year he is going with us, and of course it's all we can talk about, disney this, disney that! we have the screen saver of disney the ticker down thingys as well as the disneyland soundtrack in the car. so yeah we are a little crazy about going, (we're excited!!!!!!!!!!! ) okay so the other night my DS and I were talking about which rides we were going to ride - my DH freaked out and was like "can we stop talking about DL for one moment?!?!" my DS and I just looked at him ... So I understand the excitment your having and wondering if you BFF is going to have fun, I am going through the same thing.

But remember DL does things to people! it' s all about the magic!

And besides who says you can't get lost from people who are not having a good time in Disneyland!

 

[CrazyDuck]

And.... you (NicksMommy) need a new DH!

 

[DesertBell]

I am the same way about Disney. The planning, the excitement, the constant yammering about it until everyone around you wants to shove your mickey ears down your throat.

Right now, to her, it's just a theme park, probably no different than Magic Mountain. Honestly, it might stay that way. Some people never feel the magic, as sad as that is.

Stop talking about it. Better yet, apologize. Tell her you know you've been pushing too hard and you're sorry that your excitement got the better of you. That while you're still excited and eager for your trip, you're going to back off. Suggest she do her own research and find out what she wants to do while she's there, what she wants to eat, etc. Refer her here, if you wish. We're contagious.

Accept that she might find the magic in a different way than you do. She may still not like the rides or even want to go on them. In that case, suggest the shows.

Don't push. Don't rush her from place to place in your eagerness to have her see everything. Let her relax. Commando vacations are guaranteed to make anyone hate anything. I hada friend tell me she never really loved Disneyland until she went with me- because it was the first time she ever got to really relax and ENJOY it, rather than rushing from ride to ride trying to fit everything in.

Good luck. ((hugs))

 

[pixiewings71]

Well I took my BFF last January. It wasn't her first trip but it was OUR first trip together. We both took our DBF's and we had the BEST time. We had NO schedule, none, not even when we were getting up in the morning. lol We took it slow and had a blast and by the end of the trip she and her DBF upgraded their park hoppers to AP's. So, just take it easy and let her enjoy it, you never know what might happen!!

 

[NicksMommy]

And.... you (NicksMommy) need a new DH!

Right?!? I just imagined myself married to someone who loves Disney everything as much as me!

 

[abby]

Years ago my then dbf and I were going to Arizona to visit his folks and I insisted we stop at DL for the day. He was 45 and had never been. He went only because I wanted to and made it clear he was doing it for me. Long story short, our second ride was space mt and after we got off he had this big smile and said, "every time I thought it was going as fast as it would go it went faster, let's go again" We had a magical day. Very special since he then became my DH and then died of cancer two years later. Those are memories I will always have.
Moral of this story, just back off your excitment, she will find she loves it on her own.

 

[Mouseaholic!!!]

Years ago my then dbf and I were going to Arizona to visit his folks and I insisted we stop at DL for the day. He was 45 and had never been. He went only because I wanted to and made it clear he was doing it for me. Long story short, our second ride was space mt and after we got off he had this big smile and said, "every time I thought it was going as fast as it would go it went faster, let's go again" We had a magical day. Very special since he then became my DH and then died of cancer two years later. Those are memories I will always have.
Moral of this story, just back off your excitment, she will find she loves it on her own.

I agree.

Take is slowly.

You cannot make the magic happen....but you can ever-so-gently guide it along!

Have a good trip.

 

[davidsprincess]

My DBIL is going for the first time on our family trip. He doesn't really know what to expect and says that maybe he will just rent a car and drive around L.A. while we are at DL . He figures it will just be something like the rides at Stampede or that the characters will run up and hug on him without his permission. Anyways, I do show some excitement but I will just let the parks and the surroundings speak for themselves. I am also going to take a lot of "little known facts" that have been discussed here on the board about DLR and print them out and put them into a special folder for him to read while on the plane down. I will tell him about the "hidden Mickey's" and that will give him something else to do if he doesn't want to do many rides.

Just relax and breathe. You mentioned that she has had so many let- downs in her life that it is hard for her to get excited about anything. She is probably scared to get excited lest something happens to ruin this trip for her. Let the magic of Disney speak for itself when you get there....you never know, she just might end up being as mad about Disney as you are!

 

[Corpsebride]

I say ditch her and find the most fanatical disney freak in the park you can find. I mean the craziest Disney fool . Ill be wearing mouse ears a mickey tshirt and big minnie shoes. while wolfing down a dole whip and a churro!
Just kiddin'. I do hope you have a great time, let her know that its okay to cut loose and be a kid at DL. But if you feel that half the day is gone and shes just too cool for school... take her to DCA , there are restaurants that serve beer and wine. Put a few drinkies in her and then it should all be fine! DL is way to expensive to waste on someone who refuses to have a good time.
But I do hope she gets a big dose of Pixie dust and
Good luck!

 

[old lady]

Promise her you won't take her on any roller coasters only kiddy rides and shows.

 

[ZedAus]

Just throwing thoughts around here...

I'm not sure what size she is, but when I was VERY overweight I didn't go on rides because I didn't know whether I would fit into the seats.

Now that I could easily fit into the seats, I don't go on rides because hubby gets REALLY sick on most rides and I am not too great either. But at least I know I COULD go on the rides.

These could be reasons that she doesn't 'like' rides. I used to say that I didn't like rides, when the real reason was that I was too big for them. Or she could get travel sick and doesn't know if she will get sick on the rides.

I think it would be great if you respected her wishes about the rides and perhaps made some other suggestions now and then (just not ALL the time). Hubby and I loved the Mark Twain and we also went on It's a Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean and the Jungle Cruise. The train ride around the outside was also lovely. We only had one day, so just got around Disneyland, but this time are planning on going to DCA as well, so not sure what rides we'll be able to go on there. We just asked some CMs about what rides were suitable for people who suffered from motion sickness.

Hopefully she will be able to find other things to do if you want to go on some of the more 'active' rides, but at least she would still have some experiences to share with you.

She may have some other reason for not wanting to go on rides, but these are just a couple of thoughts.

Zelma

 

[chelseagirl_lv]

Dont pressure her on having a good time, and just let the Disney magic happen. I know what it is like to be soo excited, and wanting everyone in your party to have just as much a good time as you will. Just appreciate her for who she is, and enjoy her company for the trip. I would definitely count on her resistance, especially if she is having a resisting attitude now and you guys arent even at the park. Makes plans around that, and hopefully things wont get too heated.
Also, understanding your excitement, I would plan some time by yourself in the park, to enjoy the things you like.
Honestly, the next time, I would find someone to go with that has the same interest in the park as you do. Why give up your enthusiasm for someone who is clearly set against having fun? Just my opinion......

Good luck!

 

[missxjess]

Just throwing thoughts around here...

I'm not sure what size she is, but when I was VERY overweight I didn't go on rides because I didn't know whether I would fit into the seats.

Zelma

She is pretty average I'd say. I'm pretty sure she just "grew" out of rides like some people do because me and her used to go on all sorts of rides. That was only at the Calgary Stampede. Those rides were short, long line-ups, a bit uncomfortable and had no point to them except for either tossing you upside down or spinning you uncontrollably. She has never been to an actual "theme" park where the rides are 10x different than ones that shes been on in the past so I'm going to be optimistic

Thanks for all the posts. It's hard to describe her but I do know she is excited. I think I'm more upset because I will stop by her work and I know all her co-workers and everything and they ask me if I'm excited for California and they say that she talks about it a lot but she just doesn't talk to me about it. I've taken the hands on and the hands off approach so I think it's just one of those things that I'm not going to understand.

In the end I think we'll have a great time together because that's just what we do but I really appreciate all the advice. I think as our vacation becomes closer (24 days) she's getting a "bit" more excited.