Sad Query

[SnowAngel]

Have you ever seen anyone die? How did it make you feel?
If not how do you think it would make you feel?

I'm doing a psychology report and trying to get a range of answers.

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

Back in 1986 I was a Nurse's Aide for a very short time. One of my every day patients (we had between 8 - 10 each day) passed away.

I wasn't sad for her, actually she didn't speak to anyone and I'm not even sure she knew where she was. She seemed like she would of been a very nice woman. She never had any visitors nor did she have any pictures of family around like other residents. So I was happy for her to be out of there and hopefully she went to a happier place.

I worked the 7 - 3 shift and actually I'm pretty sure she died before my shift began, but nobody said anything. She was in bed but her eyes were open . . .I found that pretty unsettling since I had to be the one to clean her before the coroner came. I couldn't clean her with her eyes wide open staring at me, so I tried to close them . . .I got one closed and the other one half closed So it looked like she was winking at me the entire time . . .I was pretty glad to finish up with her and get out of there, very very odd to think someone is staring at you.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

The only person I've seen die is my mom. She died at a young age and very suddenly, so what I felt mostly was uncontrolled grief. At the same time, though, there was a peace to it. You really could feel her soul leave.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Hm....still a very fresh memory here and I think about it all the durn time. LOL

I THOUGHT I was going to be terrified, but I wanted desperately to be there when he went.
Talking to the nurses about "how" a person dies helped calm my fears quite a bit, but it was still a bit nervewracking not KNOWING how it would be.

At the end, (the last 2 hours) it was very peaceful and much if not all the struggle to breathe and live was gone.

From a clinical standpoint it was absolutely facinating. The nurse had given us a wonderful booklet about how the body actually dies. My sisters and I held the booklet and followed along as he (his body) went through each step. Facinating and heartwrenching all at the same time. LOL

It was without a doubt one of the most interesting experiences I have ever had.....I found out that people have the ability to have 20 different emotions coursing through them at any given moment.

 

[SnowAngel]

Thanks for the replies. I'm looking for more of if you seen someone die in front of you and even more so if it was a sudden violent death

 

[4cruisin]

I was with my mom when she died. I had been by her side for the 48+ hours during her passing (as well as watching her fight a debilitating disease for 3 years) and although the grief was overwhelming ( and some times still is after 2.5 years), it gave me the proof I needed to believe that there is a better place to look forward to when we leave this life.

Her passing was as "peaceful" as I think anyone's death can be, but it is still an emotional, heart-wrenching, sorrow-filled event to watch. She was and always will be my role model and my best friend. She died with so much faith, dignity and grace and I miss her terribly.



Nancy

 

[dianeschlicht]

I have had similar experiences to others here who have seen a loved one die after a long illness. There truely is a peace to it, and it really shores up your belief in a higher power. I can't imagine how awful it would be to experience witnessing a violent death. I'm quite sure it would be quite different from the peace felt when an very old or very ill loved one passes on.

 

[SuiteDisney]

I held both my FIL's hand and my MIL's hand as they died. It broke my heart.

 

[4cruisin]

Trying delete duplicate post.

 

[Saffron]

As a nursing assistant in a nursing home, a home health aide, and a nursing student, I was with many patients who died while I waited with them, too many to count. I also witnessed a very violent death once of a little girl.

The first time I witnessed death as a nursing assistant, it didn't scare me, or make me sad. Instead it gave me the knowledge that in this world, we are but a small, teeny, tiny dot of existance, that will only be on the Earth for the blink of an eye. Life is fleeting. I was alone with the patient and held his foot as he passed. He was a very tall man whose feet dangled over the bottom of the bed. I sat at the bottom of the bed and held and rubbed his foot and talked to him as he left us. I had a bit of a panic at first when I realized he really was gone, but then after that I had peace and the knowledge that we all have another journey after our life here, and that life here is sooooooo short.

 

[Disney Doll]

I've seen many people die as I am a nurse, and I generally don't find it to be personally distressing as much as fascinating and genrally serene and peaceful. My faith basis is thatwhen we die we go on to a better place, so perhaps that's why I don't find it to be the worst thing. I think in this country, we have a stigma regarding death as a natural part of life, and that's too bad, because while it is sad for the people left behind who have lost their loved one, it can also be a tremendously positive experience, bringing peole closer.

I have three very particular remembrances about 3 deaths I have experienced. The first was many years ago when I was a young nurse, probably in my early 20's. I was on nights(11pm-7am) caring for an elderly woman who had been comatose for the previous 2 days, and was quite close to death. I eneterd her room probably around 3AM and she was sitting bolt upright in bed looking over my head, and said, perfectly clearly "Oh thank God you've finally come Jesus". I was frightened (hey, I was young then ), so I left the room, and when I returned in a few minutes(accompanied by a co-worker for moral support!)the lady has died.

A couple of years after that, we were caring for a lady whose husband had died on our floor about one month prior to her admission. It became very obvious to all of us that she had neglected herself in caring for him, because she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. A co-worker and I were in her room one evening at about 1030PM, when suddenly the lights, which were controlled by a switch that was not in easy reach of anyone, hospital design being what it is , flickered on and off a few times and she turned and looked toward the doorway and said "Oh Vicotr(her late husband)I knew you'd come". She then proceeded to pass away as well.

Recently, my DFIL was dying of cancer, was hospitalized and in his final days. He had been comatose for awhile, with very little response. My DSIL and I were at his bedside, and it was St.Patrick's Day. My DFIL was the most Irish of gentlemen, and St.Patrick's Day was like a high holy day to him. He seemed to be struggling to "hold on", so DSIL and I told him that it was OK for him to go, that we'd be fine, and we'd take of DMIL. I then added "You probably have a lot of people waiting up there to celebrate the day with you". At that point, he opened his eyes, looked squarely at me and said "You are absolutely right". Then he closed his eyes again, went back to his comatose state and died several hours later. An interesting aside...he died at about 330AM, and at that same moment, my nurse manager, who had become very close to my DFIL because of his numerous hospitalizations, woke up at home out of a sound sleep because she thoguht she heard him talking. They had a very fond relationship, he called her his "Lithuanian Princess", and I often wondered if he made a little "stop" on his way to Heaven???

Thankfully, I have never seen anyone die a violent death.

My general feeling about death is for the person it is a peaceful, serene experience. For the loved ones, it is sad. When I feel sadness about death, it is because I will miss the person, or I feel badly knowing their loved ones are in pain over their death.

 

[smiley]

Back in 1983 I was on a weekend trip with my now husband and some friends. We were walking along a winding cobblestone path which included a short, though steep set of stairs. As we reached the top of the stairs we turned around to view the beautiful setting in which we were a part of. An elderly gentleman and his caretaker were ascending the steps when suddenly the man lost his footing and fell straight back onto the hard cobblestone path. The sound his head made when he contacted the stoney ground beneath was a loud cracking thud. Initially while lying still, the gentleman was breathing, then thick red blood started oozing from his left ear. My husband and his friend went to his aid immediately. His caretaker and I sat on the steps and watched as they comforted the man. The man then stopped breathing so my husband and friend performed CPR. Several minutes later the man started breathing on his own. All the while, more thick jello like blood was pooling around his head. After what seemed like an eternity, the paramedics finally arrived to take over.

The man was officially alive when we left him with the paramedics, although my husband and friend knew it was only a short time before he would pass. During the incident I held up very well; I felt it was my job to keep a stiff upper lip and hold it together for the caretaker, who I originally thought was this elderly man's wife.

As we walked away my husband and friend started joking about totally unrelated things. I was literally shaking and extremely nauseous. That night at dinner I could barely eat.

Sadly the next day the elderly man was pronounced dead.

As you can see, this event is etched clearly in my mind. I don't know if it qualifies for your report since he wasn't actually dead when I left him, but he was dead to me.

 

[MaryAnn B]

I had an experience about 8 or 9 years ago. I was a passenger with my babysitter and we were taking our children to an event at the local zoo. As we were going eastbound I looked across the road going west and saw a woman cross the street and a car hit her.

It was terrible she looked like a rag doll when she was hit with the front of the car and flew a few feet. We turned around to speak with the police and what was really hard about this accident was there was no blood she looked like she was asleep. Newspaper the next day said most of her bones were broken and died of internal injuries.

I think for a year every time I passed that spot I thought of her and I no for at least a few months I would see her being hit when I passed that spot going to work.

It was very sad.

 

[myfairygodmother]

As a night shift respiratory therapist I have seen more than my share of death.

Just to clarify my job as many people ask me what exactly it is that I do--I am nationally registered and liscensed by the state board of medical examiners as an RRT. I am responsible for a patients airway and breathing. I am an integral part of the "code team" and "NERT(neonatal resuscitation)". If a patient's condition begins to decline rapidly, respiratory is often the first called to the room. We work in every area of the hospital from the ER to ICU to General Medicine to Labor & Delivery. I use the word "I" to describe not only myself but my fellow RRT's.

Death is no stranger to my job/profession. It is not unusual to witness several deaths in one 12 hour shift. Thankfully most are peaceful and expected although these are by no means the easiest. These are the patients to whom we have usually grown the most attached as they are generally frequent visitors. Ventilators belong to our profession and as such it is sometimes our job to disconnect patients from their life support so that they may die--this is the hardest when the family members want to be present during the procedure.

The OP asked about witnessing a violent death--for anyone who has watched an unsuccessful full blown "code blue" in a hospital setting, that, IMHO is a violent death. I believe this to be even more violent when it is done against the patient's wishes(immediate relative says at the last minute--Please do everything you can to save my______, I'm not ready to lose them)--this is only my opinion.

Probably the death that stands out most in my mind/the one that had the greatest impact on me, was that of a beautiful little 4 month old girl. In the car one night with her parents, she became quite fussy. Her mom reached into the backseat and removed her from her carseat in an effort to console her. Dad was driving and swerved to avoid hitting something in the road, lost control and hit a stone post headon--less than one mile from their house. Mom and dad were both wearing seatbelts and walked away uninjured. The 4 month old in mom's lap was hit in the head by the passenger side airbag and sustained a fatal closed head injury. She was alive when we received her in the ER and she uttered one small cry before we quickly intubated her to protect her airway. As we worked to keep this baby alive, it was apparent to all of us that we were fighting a losing battle. All we could do was watch helplessly as the tell-tale signs of brain herniation quickly appeared. She looked like such a little doll amidst all the tubes and wires as she had not a scrape or cut on her body from the wreck. Even though it has been some time since this death, I can still visualize it as though it was yesterday. It was such a preventable death.

I am sorry to have rambled on so long...I hope that this is of some help to you on your report.

 

[Cindy B]

Not sure if this qualifies or not... but I will remember this for a very long time.


I lived in a rural town.. and had to take a school bus for over an hour every day just to get home. We were in the Pine Barrens in NJ... (think millions of acres of Pine Trees, dirt roads, and little shack houses) The bus was making a curve, and there was a motorcycle passing on the LEFT.. screaming past the bus. There were about 6 or 7 kids on the bus, two of them being me and my sister.

It didn't sound good, but we heard him pass, and a crash.. but it was near a tree.. on the other side of the curve.

This was in 1982-83, so no cell phones. But the bus had a CB radio.. out in the country.. she calls on her CB for the cops. My parents town was so small (How small was it?)... there were no police force, just the state troopers.. so bus driver calls her depot on the CB and asks her what to do. The bus depot tells her to continue on the run (one stop/maybe 5 minutes away one way), and that the cops/abulance were called .

So off we go.. to the stop near the accident. We then turn around (as part of the regular bus run), and see the cops/volunteer EMT's around the scene. We drive very slowly.. and I see legs.. sitting propped up.. but I look, I see boots, jeans, waist, belt buckle, and then.. nothing.. the body was severed. (The bike must have sid under him when he took the curve) I then look in the woods.. andsee what looks like the other half being carried by either an EMT or a fireguy.

I remember seeing the long hair on the guy. That stayed with me forever.

I was young, maybe 6th or 7th grade.

 

[Bob O]

Being a police officer i have seen numerous people die, some died as a result of acts of violence/sucide, some as a result of accidents and some just because their time has come.
Due to the job that one has to do you cant become emotional about as it will affect how well you do your job. You do reflect later on about the death's and in some cases you feel sorry for the actual victims and not sorry for the ones who serve no purpose on this earth.
Luckily i havent had to experience the death of a loved one in person but did have to put my dog to sleep which doesnt equate with the death of most human beings but was one of the toughest things i have ever done and was surprised how hard/sad it was.

 

[Pugdog007]

Originally posted by HauntedMansionGeek
Hm....still a very fresh memory here and I think about it all the durn time. LOL

From a clinical standpoint it was absolutely facinating. The nurse had given us a wonderful booklet about how the body actually dies. My sisters and I held the booklet and followed along as he (his body) went through each step. Facinating and heartwrenching all at the same time. LOL

I'm sorry HMG but I feel your post is just creepy. Who died? And when is it ever appropriate to "LOL" when describing someone's death?

 

[Saffron]

I think people LOL when they're nervous, when memories are tough. It's a nervous reaction that some people have when they face nervous, tragic or scary events. Even recalling those event in type can cause someone to release that energy, most likely unknowingly.

I've heard of people falling out laughing at funerals, or weddings, events that people might deem sacred. I've read and heard about it. It's a release of nervous energy. It's not a "Ha ha, that was so funny laugh" but a "oh my gosh, I'm such a nervous wreck and I can't stop my emotions" laugh.