Thanks for all of the sweet comments!
To hopeforus: Based on all of my trips to both restaurants, I'd say it all boils down to soup vs. polenta, really. Oh and sushi. But really, soup vs. polenta. If Smokey Portobello Soup is your thing, then by all means choose Artist Point. But I swear, if heaven is a dish -- unless you're a vegetarian -- the Pork Tenderloin Medallions with Goat Cheese Polenta would be it. And Miss Yoshi's sushi as an appetizer? Lord save me. But I'll get to that later.
There are other points betwixt the cuisine at the Haus of the Five Legged Goat vs. that of the Wilderness Lodge. I find the service at the former to trump that of the latter by a landslide. A screaming your head off reaching for homeplate landslide. I promise I'll cover more of this later. Promise. To take your hand, as tomorrow dawns. We go on. Anyone ever notice how those songs flow into one another? Kinda like Gloria Estefan's ballad collection. It's all the same song. But what wonderful deviated septum music she makes.
Back to the food, yes?
Day 1 - Dinner
After the great Beignet Massacre of 2010, where poor rounds of dough were fried and sugared, only to be left waiting in boxes... as nearly fifty of their brother and sister beignets piled up around them, cold and listless. To quote James Cameron's most recent not-3D epic, "They were waiting for a resolution that would never come." I mean, who in their right mind would eat a 45-minute old beignet? The lady who ordered them had chutzpah all right. Impractical, but chutzpatic all the same.
So. Oh! Did I mention we had groceries delivered? That's food, so it applies. Yes, more importantly, water. Bottled water for making the morning coffee. Because, as stated earlier, Florida water =
I threw in some Apple Bran muffins for the SO, as they are his favorite, and a few essentials like half and half (a precious commodity in a sea of Nestle Non-Dairy Powder packets and pumpy liquid from chemical plants in Taiwan.) It was my first time using Garden Grocer, and their customer service is nightastic. Fantasmic. Expelliarmus. Oh for heaven's sake. It's just good. And the FABULOUS Bell Services guys at the French Quarter are to be commended. Absolute dolls, and kindly kept our refrigerated items cool for us until we arrived. Our delivery arrived a little while before we arrived (because of course, Magical Express had to stop at those gargantuan resorts Saratoga Springs and Old Key West. Both resorts have doublehandedly terminated any urge to ever join the DVC fiesta. It took 45 minutes to get from the road to the darned bus stop. But I embellish. Heck, if we'd had to continue on to Riverside, we may as well have taken and completed a course in Portuguese right there on the bus.)
But back to the food. OH wait. We left a few bucks and a little thank you note for Bell Services on the munchkin fridge before we left for dinner. Do you know they wrote "Thank you" and a drew a heart right below our note? Precious! And totally won over SO. Go Garden Grocer. Go Bell Services.
Somewhere after the Beignets, Groceries, a rainy tour of French Quarter/Riverside, and a stop through the afterthought of a store that is Jackson Square (though I do like the Mardi Gras masks!), we looked at our options. Take a bus to Animal Kingdom and transfer to the lodge or take a taxi to spend a little time at the hotel before dinner. The latter won out. A fabulous lady (all the cast members this trip were fabulous) called for our cab and wondered what in the heck SO was wearing. At check-in, we were given two pins.. Since my birthday landed smack dab in the middle of the trip, mine was pretty straightfoward: Happy Birthday (with a little mouseear picture he drew in). But for SO, the trip was recognizing his recent college graduation. His pin said "Paying off my college loans". Everyone from bus boys to Snow White (yes, Snow White) and nearly every character we met...who wasn't mute...asked what it meant. Had he paid the loans already, or was he going to? It was a cute inscription, and it gave the SO conversation opportunities. Especially with Lady Tremaine and the Stepsisters. This isn't about food. Back to the cab.
Cab arrives, off to the glorious glamorous Animal Kingdom Lod - EW! Jambo House? What kind of messed up pixie dust is this? I know, I can play the "but many of my closest friends are DVC members", but I ask you, was this really necessary? My first time back since the changeover, and ew. Just, ew. And now there's an added bus stop. Isn't AKL far enough away without adding something else to delay them? I don't know about you, but the Deluxes, DVCs and heck, 75% of the Moderates have CRAZY bus stop numbers or share with other resorts. Moderates aside, thanks for the $400 a night, now get in line!
So there are four wondrous Disney smells that keep bringing me back. The first is the water of Pirates of the Caribbean (which can also be experienced over at the Mexico Pavilion). The water I so abhor to imbibe does have it perks in the olfactory. I mean, Disney water ride smell? Check.
Burning of Rome in Spaceship Earth, otherwise known as the Disney Soup smell? Smokey Portobello Soup or Canadian Cheddar Cheese. That's the scent.
The nasty Monorail cushion smell. Sure it isn't a
pleasant thing, per se. But it's memorable, nostalgic, and unmistakable.
Then, there is the smell of walking into the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Roasted animal. A strange dichotomy, what with the Disney Conservation Wildlife Express or what have you. But for years, I mistook that smell for heavily seasoned, exotic game. I was wrong! I have corrected this calculation in recent years and discovered that it isn't animal at all. It's butter. The delectable bread and butter served at the beginning of every meal at the Lodge's signature restaurant, Jiko: The Eating Place. I could be mistaken, but the flavors match that smell. A very subdued and clean cumin/cardamom/coriander, "tandoori"-like mixture. The most delicately fragrant mix. Not at all heavy or lingering. The bread, light as a feather. The modern plates and silverware and the Jiko-emblazoned napkins are a gorgeous way to start one's Disney trip.
I'm bad with names, so I can't remember any server's name from any restaurant. But I can remember character, so that'll have to suffice. I told the CM who checked us in that I was sorry we were ridiculously early (which we were, those faux-beignets didn't bring us very far) and she kept walking through and saying "Is your dinner ridiculously wonderful?"
At the end of the night she even told us to have a ridculously great night. The SO got a card from the cast of the restaurant to celebrate his graduation. He loved it. And this was his first trip. Everything about Jiko won him over, but the card, with all the South African CMs giving him good wishes and congratulations, was a lovely gesture. Disney just does it right, y'know?
Our server was extremely energetic and wonderful. He was very involved at the outset of the meal, and quietly left us to ourselves once our food service began. The SO had Iced Tea (I know, it's water...but he's not afraid of Florida water), and I had a South African Hard Cider. It was a little too sweet for me (hey, it is Cider), but I ended up enjoying it. I usually have a glass of wine from their extensive collection, but I didn't get around to it. I wish I had, because I would sure love a glass tonight! Goats Do Roam still makes me laugh.
For our appetizers, the SO had the Florida Salad, which he immediately dubbed the best salad he's ever tasted. Peaches, some kind of walnut chunky brittle and :: checks the internet :: Okay, it's called the Florida Seasonal Salad, peaches, walnut brittle, and humboldt fog cheese. I recall it being a goat cheese, I guess that's what it is. That combination was wow. I highly recommend being seasonally peachy when you visit. I wasn't so successful with my choice. The Cucumber, Tomato, and Red Onion salad with cottage cheese and watermelon vinaigrette looked much better on paper. The flavor wasn't complex, it was like eating sashimi in a watermelon water broth. I guess cottage cheese, cucumber, tomato and watermelon vinaigrette should hae been my first clue. A noble effort, beautifully composed on the plate, but just...
So, the SO kindly let me sample ample morsels of Peachy Florida.
Boom boom chakalakalaka boom. I was THIS close to getting the chakalaka. I just wanted to say that I had actually eaten Chakalaka. The SO was innundated by my chakalaka joke that got old faster than Ke$ha. But then our server came by and pointed out the Maize-crusted halibut and said that he thought I would like it. I'm easily persuaded. I once went to a Red Lobster with a friend the day it opened in Times Square. Oh yeah. Three hour wait. Why? Because Red Lobster was such an ooh aah thing in Manhattan. Hell in most of New York City. You see the commercials on TV and it's like, "but why can't I ever go?!" Sonic, Red Robin? Who knows from them? Long John Silvers? What's that? So, we waited. Got in. The server said "You should try the Rockzilla." We said sure! Three giant lobster tails rolled around a skewer, dry and flavorless. $40. And we were sitting right next to the window where scores of tourists and New Yorkers alike were queueing up. With our giant lobster tail skewers and Lobsteritas (which she had also recommended). Suffice it to say, future Red Lobster trips around the country have not involved either. For the record, Lobsteritas don't contain lobster. Can you imagine? It's more ew than the bus stops at Sasparilla Springs.
Back to Jiko. I get the Maize-Crusted Halibut with Jiko's tried and true pink butter sauce. I've had it with all sorts of fish before, monkfish being my favorite. This was flaky and deliciosa. I recommended the Short Ribs for the SO as he is more of a steak and taters guy. He proved me wrong this trip, he seems to be branching out a bit... I love introducing different flavors and cuisines. I definitely saw Disney through new eyes on this trip. Anyway, he kept taking bites of the Short Ribs and pausing to imitate Peter Boyle from Young Frankenstein. Closed eyes, savoring. Golly gee, this place was a winner. Phew! I always get nervous when I book restaurants by myself, because I hope they'll work out! Oh, and the potato gratin stack thingy was majorly thumbs uppy.
Jiko: The Eating Place and California Grill happen to be my two favorite resort restaurants. But what do they both have in common? Subpar desserts. I have never enjoyed any of my desserts from either place, which is a puzzlement. Desserts at the latter are way too sweet and syrupy with too many components. If it were Top Chef, Colicchio would tell 'em there were too many notes. And Jiko tries too hard. So, we both passed on dessert. Nothing looked appetizing to the SO. No cheese plate either, though I have had the Jiko cheese plate and it is divine. Manchego, how could you go wrong?
Oh! And can I just say that every time we told a CM that we were not on the dining plan, they smiled and "phew"ed. Makes me question the impact it has on them.
We explored the hotel a bit more, sat with our feet up at Jogun's fire pit, and looked at the giant orange blue I-don't-know-what-it-is sculpture across from it in the lobby. We've dubbed it the Malawi Maiden. Madonna walks into it to absorb the souls of African children on her visits to the lodge. We're sick.
Considering the night was still young, we decided to hop on over to Downtown Disney. Via bus. Sangali House, what's it called? Nahtazu House? Whatever that other place is, we had to stop there first. Bah. I mentioned that before, but a direct bus is a precious Disney commodity. After browsing a few shops -- I'd go into detail, but this is a dining review -- we joined the crowd of lemmings at Ghiardelli's. There are what, six registers? Everyone crowds into one space, so I grabbed SO's hand and zoomed past an understandably irate family who were waiting at the first register. Well, dang, the dude at the second register kept calling them, and they wouldn't listen.
I hope they weren't ordering beignets.
Karma is a beach.
I ordered a simple hot fudge sundae, the SO ordered a chocolate milkshake. I loved my sundae, but I desired that milkshake. I wish I had ordered it instead of my sundae. I recommend the shakes here folks. We had to sit outside because all of the other tables were crowded. The rain had subsided, and it was drippingly humid, but the ice cream made for a comfortable outdoor respite.
Of course, I may be sabotaging the diet after the trip is over. Disney treats will travel. And no matter how much I used to buy the chocolate covered Mickey pretzels from the 
I love it!! Way to take charge! I can't wait to read the rest of your reviews. I like you already!! 
