Response to death in the family -what would you prefer?

[ginna74]

I agree with food... make a nice dish that you can put in the freezer and then that can be just popped in the oven...

 

[savannahcat]

I would do a donation. I never send flowers to a funeral any longer after having to try to figure out what to do with funeral flowers for a couple funerals. If you send something, send a plant but personally I would do a donation either to the family or a charity. Since the funeral isn't local, they won't be around to accept any food for however long.

I totally agree with this - especially if a charity was listed in the obituary. The family listed it there for a reason.

 

[curious3069]

No food, no plants, no flowers. All very well intentioned and the family is always grateful for them, but many families are literally innundated with both. Seems like a strange thing, but the stress of dealing with leftovers and what to do with plants is just not what you want to be spending time doing.

Donate to the families choice and then in a month or so, bring over a dinner or gift card for a dinner out. If you want to do something immediately, buy containers, foil, plastic wrap, paper plates etc. and bring them over.

 

[Micca]

Do food, but perhaps do it a couple of weeks from now when the dust has settled a bit. Or do something that can be frozen to be heated at a later date...a casserole or something.

I'm with Disney Doll on this. Great idea

 

[spaceacewannabe]

I'd send a donation and offer to watch the house (thieves often target homes at times of funerals) and pets, especially if they're traveling to the funeral.

Watching the house is a really good idea, especially if their names and the funeral details were in their local paper.
I know we were concerned about my Grandma's address being in the paper after my Grandpa died.

 

[clarabelle]

Thanks everyone.

 

[alizesmom]

One more suggestion. If your neighbor is a good friend, offer her your company especially later on.

 

[clarabelle]

She is a friend. Thanks for all your thoughts I think I am going to do donations to whatever they ask for and maybe some food later.
She doesn't have loads of friends -and no family here -so she may not get that much.

 

[MiniGirl]

She is a friend. Thanks for all your thoughts I think I am going to do donations to whatever they ask for and maybe some food later.
She doesn't have loads of friends -and no family here -so she may not get that much.

This sounds like a great plan. I have lost both my parents and appreciated all the food, etc. However, most of it did really go to waste. We loved getting the cards that so and so made a donation in my mom or dad's name. Made me feel that my folks would continue touching lives eventhough they were no longer with us.

Then, later, after things have calmed down, it can get difficult as well. Many think that even after just a couple of weeks you should be "over it" or need "to move on." Grieving is a process. It is something we go through -- not get over. None of the steps can be skipped, and it was nice to have someone there who understood that. Perhaps you can be that person for her.