Quiet vs. social

[Lil Lil]

Honest opinion. Do you have friends or relatives who are quiet? They prefer not to be in social situations? Do you feel quiet people get the same respect as talkers? I'm a quiet person, but I don't feel I get the same respect at work functions, or other gatherings as talkers. I do have a couple of close friends who are talkers, but I think they like me because I do most of the listening. They can dominate the conversation. One lady (she's extremely socialable) I worked with, I felt she treated me as a charity case because I'm quiet. It was like she always made some comment about me being quiet. What are your thoughts?

 

[Free4Life11]

No. I am fairly quiet person in certain situations and I don't think quiet people get a lot of respect. What bothers me the most is how people appear to misread being quiet as either something is wrong or you're in a bad mood or something like. Well maybe I just don't feel the need to run my mouth constantly or just don't feel like talking right now.

 

[LoraJ]

I'm a talker and my boyfriend is quiet. I sure embarrass him a lot. Poor guy.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

No. I am fairly quiet person in certain situations and I don't think quiet people get a lot of respect. What bothers me the most is how people appear to misread being quiet as either something is wrong or you're in a bad mood or something like. Well maybe I just don't feel the need to run my mouth constantly or just don't feel like talking right now.

Or they think you are snobby. It happens to me. I try to not let it bother me.

 

[Christine]

I am fairly reserved until I get to know people and then they are always quite shocked that I end up being quite the blabberer!!

I don't know if "respect" is the right word, but I've been told by friends that when they first met me, they really thought I was some reserved, "ice queen." That kind of bothers me because it is truly NEVER my intention to come off that way. I try to be very mindful of it now and, if I don't have a lot to say or feel nervous, I try to smile more.

 

[disykat]

I'm definately a talker. I think quiet people sometimes get more respect than talkers, but a lot less attention. I may get invited to parties because "of the fun stories I tell" but that's not really respect IMO. It's who I am, but it doesn't make me someone people go to for advice. I think because I get to talking, people sometimes take me less seriously. "Still waters run deep" - people often think of quiet people as heavy thinkers. I hesitate to use the word ditzy to describe myself, but sometimes I can get going and that's probably the impression I'm giving. I can find myself getting a bit carried away by the attention I'm getting and then I get more talkative - then I get myself in trouble sometimes by giving away a little more info than I would have wanted. I find myself thinking "did I really just tell 30 people my most embarrassing childhood story?", "why didn't someone shut me up", etc.

 

[Karel]

I am a private person and my best friend is not. She is always going on and on about her life, her kids etc. She does tell great stories. I've never mastered that. Most of the time I don't mind. We belong to the same large volunteer organization and most everyone knows her. I'm the sidekick. We do work as a team a lot and I feel that I contribute equally but most of the times, I'm in the background. Usually it doesn't bother me, because she's the public speaker and I'm better with details and written things. But sometimes I wish people would appreciate what I do.

I tend to take the time to give attention to quiet kids more than the ones that are always in the front, demanding attention.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

I am a talker!! But I also enjoy quiet time alone as well.

 

[Snowysmom]

I am very definately quiet especially at social gatherings. I do like to observe everything. People tend to think I am shy but once I get to know someone, I can get quite chatty.

 

[Mysteria]

I didn't vote because I am both. Around people I know well I'm a talker but when I first meet people I'm quiet.

Myst

 

[Kirby]

I'm quiet and prefer small gatherings vs large ones. Once I get to know a person, then I can talk with the best of them. I tend to sit back and people watch, which I enjoy. Sometimes people wonder if I am having a good time because I don't say much but for me, being a wall flower is fine.

 

[Lil Lil]

I'm quiet and prefer small gatherings vs large ones. Once I get to know a person, then I can talk with the best of them. I tend to sit back and people watch, which I enjoy. Sometimes people wonder if I am having a good time because I don't say much but for me, being a wall flower is fine.

I totally know how you feel. People assume because your not chatty that your having a bad time. It's nice to see that I'm not alone.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Too bad there's no Other option. I can be quiet, I can be loud. Depends on my mood...or how well I like the people I'm socializing with.

 

[pfishgirl]

I'm quiet at first but I normally warm up quick then I can't shut up..
My DH asked me if i have an off button and I said I had it removed with the EZ Button...

 

[MrsNick]

Reserved around people I don't know well. Can't shut me up around people who know me. People who don't know me well have mistaken my being reserved for being unfriendly. I do try to be pleasant, though. I also don't speak just for the sake of speaking. I feel like I'd say something dumb.

 

[Sparx]

I'm quiet around people. When I'm at home or one on one with some of my friends I'm not. But I get really quite and tend to go into the back ground in large group things.

 

[DisneyArk]

Wow, I was just thinking about this. I'm a talker, but my DS5 is not. Whenever he is around other adults he usually gives short polite answers and doesn't like to elaborate. Today I felt like another mother thought he was not friendly. I felt bad for DS because he really is a very sweet child, but he just doesn't talk excessively.

I accept him as he is and try not to put pressure on him to be something he is not. But I do see how society likes people who are extremely outgoing and talk, talk, talk!!

So thanks to all of you for sharing that you don't feel the need to talk all the time! It makes me feel better knowing that my son is not alone.

 

[Miller1412]

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. I find silences awkward, so I talk a lot! I should be a better listener.

 

[mtblujeans]

We moved around alot when I was a kid so I guess I am lacking social skills still! I am pretty quite for the most part. But, if I get nervous or uncomfortable, I will just start rattling off all kinds of stuff....even if it doesn't make sense! It takes a special kind of person to be patient with me sometimes...

 

[Aidensmom]

I am a pretty quiet person by nature, but I have in recent years learned how to become more sociable. When I first meet someone I am somewhat reserved, or when I first am in a large group, but I warm up pretty fast, though I will never be as talkative as someone who is naturally that way.

When you are quiet, people have a harder time reading you because they don't have a lot to go on. I think that's why they may think quiet people are cold or snobby.