Question for those whose DH/DW/SO are 'on call' on weekends

[Minnie824]

Ok, so with my DHs job, he can get paged anytime, have to call into a conference call, etc. But some of my friends and I are trying to plan a date to get together. One of them has a DH who is a owning partner in a heating/cooling business. He is on call quite a bit. Anyway, we all planned to meet early on a sat for breakfast, etc...over a month and half away. They have a DD, and our friend says this will be difficult cuz of her DHs schedule and he wouldn't necessary be able to watch their DD. Now, I know his on call and my DHs on call are not quite the same. He *possibly* could have to leave and go somewhere, and not bring a 1 yr old along. SO, thats why I'm asking people here. If you have a DH/DW/SO that is on that type of 'on call' where they could maybe have to leave, does it prevent you from making other plans? I guess I just find it hard to believe that she can never make plans cuz hes always on call and can never watch their DD (this isn't the 1st time this was the excuse...even for gatherings when our DHs came along, he didnt come or she couldn't cuz of this). Anyway, I could be wrong, so if anyone knows, or could tell me their experience..thanks!

 

[Crankyshank]

DH is often on call and we make plans accordingly. Either he asks someone to cover his on call for that evening, we take separate cars, or we are just prepared to leave (just because he's on call doesn't necessarily mean he has to go out to the site).
I tend to not make movie plans for when he's on call because he has to have his nextel with him and I don't want to leave in the middle of the movie

 

[phorsenuf]

My Dh is on call 24/7. We just go on with life. If he has to leave, he has to leave. If we go anywhere further than 1 hour away, he'll take his work truck just in case or we just agree I will leave then too.

He got called out twice on Thanksgiving. That was a bummer! LOL

We just adjust as this is our way of life, just like when he sometimes has to travel for weeks at a time.

 

[justhat]

My husband is on call a lot and it does mean that I can't always go out with my friends. Difference is with my husband that when he's on call he's got to stay in the hospital for 24 hours and we know what days they'll be generally a month out. So there are days that my friends are all meeting up that I just have to miss cause I don't have a babysitter. Can you meet on a day that he won't be on call?

 

[anewvance]

We just go on with life too. My hubby works for a 24 hour 365 day a year internet company and he is the manager of one of the departments and there seems to always be something going on. He usually receives one or two calls every night from either employees with problems or customers themselves and he usually has to work on the computer to fix the problem. If we are out he usually talks them through it or has to contact someone at work with a computer who can fix the problem. It does get irritating sometimes, he talked to customers all over Disney our last trip. We went to a movie and his vibrate went off and he was gone for 10 minutes. Annoying but nothing that can be done about it, it's his job.

 

[clarabelle]

DH is only on call once every couple of months and when he is he is slaughtered.
So we go in separate cars or we don't go -or occasionally I get a sitter and go anyway.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I have a friend with two daughters whose dh is a physician assistant who is sometimes on call. if the only night the "girls" can get together is an on-call night, we just make sure to pick a restaurant less than 10 minutes from her home in case he gets called in - then she can get right home so he can leave.

 

[megan4777]

My DH is "on call" during the winter. We can't take vacations, I can't plan to get together with friends...etc without watching the weather.
He works for the town and when they need to plow he need to be there. I know he's not a dr. but it still affects our family life.

I admire him for having this job, though

 

[kbkids]

My DH is on call every day, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Making plans with him is literally impossible, unless he takes a vacation day. So, those are reserved for important things - birthdays, anniversaries, dance recitals, etc. Everything else, we plan to do without him. If he gets to be there, YEAH!! If not, we're quite used to it. If my parents didn't live here, no I could never depend on my DH to be home to take care of the kids. I have to purposely plan doctors appointments and hair appointments when they are in school, even though it means being behind at work because I know it would end up that he wouldn't be here. I've got a couple of friends that I can have "on call" if I need them - but I hate to do that to people, so I only do that with my friends in dire emergencies. I'm sorry - breakfast out with friends wouldn't be a dire emergency. If my Mom wasn't available, I'd decline the invitation also.

 

[cepmom]

DH is "on call" 24/7 for his job. He and his Dad are the only employees, so when a customer calls and needs help it is usually DH that goes out. Thankfully it doesn't happen all that often. I have a part time job that I work when DH is home...if he gets called when I am at work, he makes arrangments for a sitter for the kids. I also make my own plans with friends whenever I want...sometimes he gets called and I need to cancel or find a sitter at the last minute and sometimes he doesn't get called at all. I don't see why your friend can't make plans and if she needs to cancel at the last minute, what's the big deal?

 

[hydster]

My Dh is on call every 4 weeks from Monday to Monday in theory although he's the IT Department Manager so he gets calls sometimes even when he isn't on call. I hate it with a passion but there isn't much I can do about it. Thankfully my kids are older and I have a "built in babysitter" but I sure hate doing stuff alone! My DH also HAS to work the 2nd sat of every month and he is scheduled for this weekend and told me not to plan on seeing him until Sunday night...he may even sleep at his job for an hour or two. Then Tues *yep Valentines Day* he is heading to Jacksonville for 3 days and while he is there he is also on call which means when he gets home he's on call until Tue since Mon is a holiday! I really hate the job but I sure love the paychecks and bonuses.

 

[ahutton]

My DH is another guy who is an IT manager and always on call. I just keep going with life, and if I have plans with a friend on the weekend he plans to keep the kids, and if he gets called and has to go somewhere I either come home, or if I'm too far he'll drive the kids to where he's going and I'll leave and meet him there. A couple times he's been able to drop the kids off with me. My friends have always been understanding, and either forgiven me for having to go or understood the kids had to join me. It doesn't happen too often, but they know going in it is possible. Would that help your friend?

 

[LJC1861]

I work as an administrator for 5 group homes serving people with autism and am on call one week in every 5. I started the job several months ago and the first few on call weeks were not that bad. These last few have been purt torture and the one that I am currently finishing has been the worst yet. There are a lot of reasons as to why they are bad right now....mostly staffing issues, but that is neither here nor there. When I am on call Lisa and I make plans that are close by the house if we are taking one car, or take 2 cars in case I get called out. We have found that the middle of the night, I have to go in calls are far more stressful for both of us. This past rotation I had to work 5/7 overnight shifts, because the person we hired and trained decided the night he was supposed to start that he no longer wanted the job.
Then on my last night, when I am extremely exhausted, working in a home that I do not know well with 2 big strong residents in my face wanting to raid the refrigerator.....we have a snowstorm and school and workshop are closed for the day. My response? A full blown very scary anxiety attack.

I am so stressed over all of this that I am considering resiging from this position unless the on call piece of it can be looked at and worked on. I worked 65 hours durnig my on call rotation and only 2 hours of that was work that I was supposed to be doing.

Thanks for letting me vent.......

Linda

 

[helenabear]

DH isn't on call as much as he used to be (well, actually he's on call 24/7 but the execs don't bug him as much as the the plant workers did... thank God for that promotion!!!) but when we knew he'd be more likely to be called, no it didn't change our plans. I would still make them, knowing full well that something may or may not get in the way. He'd even get called at 2 am during a work night so I would go in very tired. It was stressful for the both of us, but we did okay.

For your friend, can one of your DH's offer to watch the kid "just in case"?

Every one is different about it though, but I don't let it get in the way

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Our lives revolve around DH's schedule. He's not here, period, every 48 hours. He's on 48/24 off and I've gotten so used to it, I don't even notice it anymore.

The only time it's tough, is when a holiday rolls around and he's on a tour.