Presentation - do we or don't we?

[balatonbabe]

Need all of your help again. All of our guests will be traveling to our DFTW in January. On the invites, we have not asked for presentation.

In your experience, have your guests given presentation anyway?

 

[Bethy Lou]

What do you mean by presentation?

 

[balatonbabe]

After dinner/speeches & the like at the reception, the bridal party has a receiving line and presents the favors to the guests. In return for the gift a guest receives, they provide a cash offering in an card & envelope. Hope I'm explaining this well enough and it isn't just a Cdn wedding tradition.

 

[DisneyFairy19]

I have never heard of putting presentation in the invites... IS that new?

 

[balatonbabe]

Seems like I've set a tone of confusion here. Let me try this from the beginning.

A wedding tradition that we are accustomed to:

When you attend a wedding, in lieu of a gift, you give cash (usually enough to pay for your meal and a little extra for the bride and groom). We call it presentation, and it usually occurs after the cake cutting at the reception.

 

[Stucas]

First off is this something all of your guests will be used to? If not personally I would not ask that of people, especially on an invitation.

If it IS something everyone is used to then chances are they will be expecting a note of some sort letting them know you will be doing this. If you don't announce this is something you are doing and then expect people to show up with cash, people who were not expecting it may feel VERY embarrassed or left out. That is the last thing you want people feeling at a wedding.


-Lauren


EDIT: I didn't read the first post correctly, I didn't realize you already decided not to put it on the invite.

 

[lpizzuro123]

I have never seen this at any wedding I have attended. I have attended wedding in NY, NJ and CT mostly. At most weddings we attend most people do not give a gift but give a money gift in a wedding card. sometimes you hand it to the bride and groom and sometimes there is a box set up on a table to hold all the cards and people just put their card in the box. I do not believe there is an actually ceremony or presentation of this that I have ever seen. Usually you just find the bride and groom at sometime during the reception and give them the card.

Thank you gifts are generally placed on the table with your place setting or the bride and groom kind of stand by the door as people are leaving and hand them the gift. Lately I have seen it mostly put at everyones place setting. This way the bride and groom can enjoy their reception and not have to take time out to stand by the door to hand things out.

Linda

 

[Ember]

Good for you for not doing this! You never make mention of a gift on an invitation because you are inviting people, not presents. This is not a Canadian thing, though in some cultures it is more common to give cash instead of a gift. However, if this is the case there is no need to prompt the action. Asking for any type of gift is never polite and while I can't speak for others, I always decline invitations with gift instructions. I find it very rude as it's obvious the couple wants more than my company. If you would like cash have it spread by word of mouth when guests ask, otherwise just accept graciously the gifts that are given with love.

To answer your question, though, I did receive mostly cash gifts. But there was no formality to it, people just gave us cards when we had a moment together.

 

[balatonbabe]

Thanks Ember, that was exactly the answer I was looking for!