Pray for my niece and her mom

[vllygrrl]

I'm at a loss and don't know what to do to help. Over the past several years, my niece has several times accused my brother-in-law of sexual abuse. Twice now, he has been investigated, and last summer it was determined that he was at least guilty of emotional abuse toward my niece (his step-daughter), and she was removed from the home and sent to live with her father. The thing is, we all believed my niece the first time and she didn't (which is normal in child-abuse cases, the abuser tries to seperate the child from the mother) In short, he's a disgusting, vile pig

In June, my sister-in-law had another baby, who was christened in August. Two weeks after the christening, it came out that my brother-in-law had been texting my niece, and they ended up alone together around 1:30am the night of the baptism. It was easy for him to get her alone, because they had a large celebration party. I don't know what happened, but it was bad enough that my sister-in-law threw him out while she ran her own reconnasance. He has conveniently lost his old phone, so she cannot view the texts without a warrant. Whatever happened was severe enough that they had lie detector tests done, my niece passed while he failed. Today, my sister-in-law is pressing charges against him. I'm worried about her as much as I am about my niece. He holds a prominent public position in their town, so there is no way that this will be kept quiet once charges are filed. I'm concerned about the effect that this will have on my niece in high school (she's now 15), but I'm also concerned about my sister-in-law, who is now alone with 3 kids, ages 11, 5 and 3 months. Her main source of help was her husband's family who live a block away - I don't think she'll feel comfortable with them anymore. She is also on medication for post-partem depression, and I'm concerned about the strain of this on her.

What is the best way for me to offer her my support? I think I'll call her later to offer my help with the kids, but she will never let us know if she needs a break - she's too strong-willed. I'd like to offer things like watching the kids so she can take a nap, taking them out, etc. I just don't know what to say...

 

[kimis]

What a sad, horrible situation. All you can do for her is pray for her and and the kids. Encourage her to get counseling!!!!! Be there for her. Go over and watch the kids like you suggested. If you just show up she isn't going to tell you no. If she does say no keep trying. Maybe even take the kids to McDonalds or Burger King so she can have some alone time.
All of you are in my prayers.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I am so sorry... I actually feel helpless and am not sure what to say here....

I guess my gut says that since she is already on meds for post partum which can be so debilitating.......I would help her with the children as much as I can whenever I could get over there. I would offer to take the older ones overnight......whatever I could to help her. I am concerned for her as she is already in a hard place to be after the birth of a new baby, but add in the unhappiness to that equation, it is not good.

And as far as the BIL is concerned, I could care who he is in the town, if he was indeed involved with your underaged niece in the manner you are describing, then he needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Shame on him.

I will keep them in my prayers.. sorry.

 

[magicmouse2]

How awful. I would help look after the children as much as you are able to. Just be there to listen. I hope he gets exactly what he deserves. sending you