Please Help!!OT

[huckleberrykate]

I know this is way out of topic, but after lurking and reading all the wonderful advice you guys give I need a little help. I have been working for a company since mid summer and at first really liked it, but it has turned into a nightmare. I ended up leaving work yesterday crying! I am suppose to go back today, but really do not want to ever go back. I know it is proper to give a two weeks notice, but I just do not want to go back. I recieve benefits from this job and can go on COBRA, but I do not know if they will allow this if I do not give a notice. Has any of you had a similar situation or any advice. I really do not want to go in to the reasons behind leaving but it is a very horrible working enviroment one I have never experienced in my life!!!

 

[bicker]

Not sure how accurate this is, but found this message that may be relevant:

Under COBRA, employers with 20 or more employees must offer them the option of continuing to be covered by the company's group health insurance plan for a specific period -- often 18 months -- after employment ends. However, the worker must pay the full cost of participating in this coverage. Continued health care coverage under COBRA also includes coverage for your dependents -- at your cost. (Under some other circumstances, coverage may be extended for up to 36 months -- for example, if the employee dies, his or her dependents can continue coverage for up to 36 months.) To learn more about COBRA, refer to the U.S. Department of Labor website at www.dol.gov.

My understanding is that the law covers those who quit a job as well as those who are fired. The only problem you may have is if your employer refuses to acknowledge that you had been hired, which is, of course, illegal, but possible (since it saves them a little bit of hassle, but otherwise is no real advantage to them), if you have not yet received a paycheck or some other documentary evidence to the contrary. If they take this tack, you may have to fight them for access to the coverage.

 

[huckleberrykate]

thank you for info. I have recieved verification of coverage, but am unsure of giving no 2 weeks! has anyone done that before(not given 2 weeks notice). thank you again for the COBRA info.

 

[horsegirl]

I am so sorry you have had such a horrible experience. Bad things sometimes happen to good people. You are brave to bring this topic up and I am sensitive to your vulnerability at this time.

Sure you can not go back, but there are many reasons to go back and exit properly. One is the financial reason, including your COBRA. Another is references for the future. A third and maybe, most important is to put proper closure on this experience. Running from something ultimately isn't a solution, IMHO. I would call human resources and your boss and schedule a meeting to give your resignation. Find out what kind of timeline they would consider. Perhaps if they understand your discomfort, they might agree to a shorter time period, otherwise give your two weeks notice and perhaps there are some sick days, vacation etc. to shorten the time frame. Try to be as professional as possible. I realize this might be a hard thing to do. But go out with dignity and your head high. Otherwise it might always be a deep wound, because it wasn't properly healed......Hang tight, this must mean there is a better opportunity out there for you. And take something from it. There is always something to learn from an expereince whether that experience is postive or negative. for you. This sounds tough.

 

[dvcgirl]

I know this is way out of topic, but after lurking and reading all the wonderful advice you guys give I need a little help. I have been working for a company since mid summer and at first really liked it, but it has turned into a nightmare. I ended up leaving work yesterday crying! I am suppose to go back today, but really do not want to ever go back. I know it is proper to give a two weeks notice, but I just do not want to go back. I recieve benefits from this job and can go on COBRA, but I do not know if they will allow this if I do not give a notice. Has any of you had a similar situation or any advice. I really do not want to go in to the reasons behind leaving but it is a very horrible working enviroment one I have never experienced in my life!!!

Sorry to hear about your bad job experience. You'll definitely qualify for COBRA, but keep in mind that it is pricey. We've used it when either myself or my DH has been between jobs or opportunities. In fact, we've decided to go the route of the high deductible insurance plan with a health savings account to avoid having to deal with it again.

 

[branv]

Well my biggest concern is the reasoning for your quitting: is it illegal, sexual harrassment, dangerous working conditions? The only reason I ask is b/c if so this could be a situation that should involve the EEOC. If it's a matter of being treated poorly (I think we've all been there - psycho boss/coworkers) then I wouldn't just not go back. I would go in and speak to either them or their manager (mostly ideal - but not always possible if they're owner or top dog). The worst case scenario is that they fire you, in which case you can leave immediately and perhaps collect unemployment. At least you'd get everything off your shoulders, and if it's about an awful person, perhaps you'd be doing the company a favor.

Just remember: if you leave without notice, it could effect you being hired in the future. They will ask for your past positions, and will want to call those jobs for references...the ol' "would you hire this person again." thing. Now if it's a super large company you're leaving, usually they're bound by fear of being sued, and will only verify prior employment and refuse to give references. If it's not, then this could hurt you. If you leave this company off your resume and the new company finds out, it's a fireable offense, and yes...I have seen plenty of people fired for this. I've seen people found out via credit checks, background checks, and even a weird scenario where a boss walked into the new company and saw the person standing there.

I know it sounds terrible, but I don't think it's in your best interest to just walk out. It might hurt you more in the long run - don't you deserve better then that. At the very least, call or email your supervisor and tell them that working conditions are so unbearable that you have left work crying. You think it would be best if he/she terminated your "contract" ASAP, but you will work 2 more weeks if they require.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

If you will need to use this job as a reference, then you should give 2 weeks notice. If you will be able to leave this job off your resume (e.g., if you can say you were staying home with your kids, or going to school, or between jobs for some good reason), then I think it would be just fine to quit.

If you are being harrassed in some illegal way at work (sexual, racial, etc. discrimination), it is illegal but that doesn't mean you can do anything about it. Going to management and Human Resources may just prolong your discomfort--all management and Human Resources is going to be concerned about is stopping you from suing them. It is unlikely they will be interested in actually resolving the issues. And EEOC generally has a many-years backlog.

Since we don't know exactly what is going on in your workplace (and I respect your need for privacy--there's no need to post details), it's hard to give advice, but if possible I would recommend giving 2 weeks notice, holding your head up, and keeping your thoughts to yourself over the next 2 weeks (I would use up a couple of sick days during this time to make it more endurable!).

As others have mentioned, COBRA is very expensive (you will have to pay all of what your employer has been paying toward your insurance, in addition to your share plus a small administrative fee) but a good stop-gap until you can find another job. Best wishes!

 

[huckleberrykate]

A little background i work in a small town environment not from there. I live an hour from this job. It is a high stress environment with tension running very high, knowing this you would think co workers would handle it or move on but no they take it out on others including employees and customers. I am tired of working with angry disfunctional people. I do not need to be belittled, screamed at, ignored, made to feel worthless,ignorant,etc. I do not need the job that bad. Another deciding factor was my 2 1/2 year old saying to me with tears in her eyes, mom why do you work so much I never see you . Thank you all for your advice I have decided to go back for two weeks with the hope the will let me go sooner. Another little bit of info I found out, I am the 6th person to take this postion and quit in the last 16 months so you would think that they would figure out something needs to change. Thank you again. You are all so kind!!!

 

[tobie01]

Be strong!!! You can do it!!!

 

[horsegirl]

I have decided to go back for two weeks with the hope the will let me go sooner.

You are brave and making the right decision! The more cool you act, the more they might get that the dynamics here are why there is such high turnover. You are right, no one should have to put up with verbal abuse. The morale sounds terrible there. Glad you are going to get out. Let us know how it goes.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

A little background i work in a small town environment not from there. I live an hour from this job. It is a high stress environment with tension running very high, knowing this you would think co workers would handle it or move on but no they take it out on others including employees and customers. I am tired of working with angry disfunctional people. I do not need to be belittled, screamed at, ignored, made to feel worthless,ignorant,etc. I do not need the job that bad. Another deciding factor was my 2 1/2 year old saying to me with tears in her eyes, mom why do you work so much I never see you . Thank you all for your advice I have decided to go back for two weeks with the hope the will let me go sooner. Another little bit of info I found out, I am the 6th person to take this postion and quit in the last 16 months so you would think that they would figure out something needs to change. Thank you again. You are all so kind!!!

Sounds like a perfectly awful job! Management obviously doesn't care enough to change the job dynamics to keep people in the position....and you are right to be leaving with your head up and nary a backwards glance. Hope the last 2 weeks go well for you and that you are able to shorten your notice time.

 

[bicker]

Sometimes it isn't a matter of caring, but rather a matter of the reality of the situation. Assuming we're not talking about anything illegal, if a significant number of employee prefer the environment the way it is (for their own reasons, of course) then deliberately imposing a different work environment is not reasonable. The reality is that often jobs and employee just don't mix well. The best thing to do, when that is the case, is to confront the issue honestly and openly, and leave on good terms, as the OP is not saying she'll be doing.

 

[horsegirl]

Sometimes it isn't a matter of caring, but rather a matter of the reality of the situation. Assuming we're not talking about anything illegal, if a significant number of employee prefer the environment the way it is (for their own reasons, of course) then deliberately imposing a different work environment is not reasonable. The reality is that often jobs and employee just don't mix well. The best thing to do, when that is the case, is to confront the issue honestly and openly, and leave on good terms, as the OP is not saying she'll be doing.

The Op updated with a little more info in the thread, and sounds like 6 folks have had this position in 16 months. SHe has decided to stick it out to end properly with 2 weeks notice. I don't think every situation allows a person "to leave on good terms", but trying to be as professional as possible is what I and a few others recommended and it sounds like she will do.

 

[fran99999]

Cobra option is not contingent on whether you quit or were fired/layed off. I agree you should go back if for no other reason than to make sure the next person doesnt have the same issue. If you really dont want to go back call your HR manager and make an appointment to go directly to his/her office and discuss the issues involved. They may not want YOU to go back. It will however give you the opportunity to clear the air. HR may have another option in the company for you. this may also give you the kind of reference you will need to get another job. I know at my company in MA we give NO references for anyone. It is against company policy. We can tell the hire/leaving date and that is all.

I think if the situation was bad enough that you went home crying. The HR option is your best option. We have never made an unhappy person return to the same positon. We either accepted their immediate resignation or moved them to another position they wanted.

Good luck let us know the outcome.

 

[huckleberrykate]

I turned in my notice yesterday, but have not heard from my boss, I left her several messages for today in the hopes she will call me. To be honest with you I do not believe they understand that the people are leaving the postion because of the pooor work environment. I know that I would prefer just to leave quietly, then to stir up a huge mess before I leave. Do not get me wrong they will know that part of my leaving is because of the way I see others and myself treated, but I do not believe making a big fuss over it will really change much. I thank you for your support and thoughts. O yeah I will be leaving on good terms, I am not going to stir a pot that is already boiling over. (someone metioned I was not).

 

[BethR]

I know that this had to be terribly hard for you to do, but it sounds like you are doing the right thing. You just have to keep telling yourself - "Just 10 more days, just 9 more days, etc."

Once it is all over with, you will feel great getting out of there and getting out of there in the right way.

Good Luck and hang in there. We are here for your support.

 

[CarolA]

And now comes the even bigger shock. Be sure you are sitting down when you open the COBRA document!!! I was amazed at my quote just for me, if you have family involved it's going to be pricey!

 

[alicenwonder99]

I had a job years ago that I quit within 3 days and didn't go back. I went through an intensive interview and background check and felt I was well prepared for the position. I started and by the end of the 2nd day, I left in tears knowing this job was NOT for me. It wasn't anything illegal or anything like what you described with your job, but just something I wasn't prepared for. It almost seemed as if they didn't explain my position to me fully and kinda snuck the negative parts in when I started. I called them the next morning and told them I was not coming back. They asked if I would come in the following day and talk with them. I really didn't want to (I just wanted it all to end and just forget about it), but I felt I owed it to them to at least go talk to the head supervisor. I know they were dissappointed because of all the time/effort involved in my interview and background check, but I had to do what I thought was right.

I've never used them as a reference and it hasn't had any negative effects on me.

I didn't have a need for COBRA, so sorry I can't help with that.

 

[BethR]

And now comes the even bigger shock. Be sure you are sitting down when you open the COBRA document!!! I was amazed at my quote just for me, if you have family involved it's going to be pricey!

Well, hopefully she will only need COBRA for a short period of time. They have to offer you the insurance, they do not have to offer it to you at discount prices.

Our oldest DD had to have a month of Cobra just for her this summer and it was $326 for the month. But less than the cost of the ER visit and the doctor's fees.

Another thought, you don't have to sign up for COBRA immediately. You can take a chance, don't take coverage, and don't have to pay the a premium. But if you need it (like DD did when she ended up in the ER) you can pay the premium retroactively for, I'm thinking, 60 days.


Again, good luck!

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I had a job years ago that I quit within 3 days and didn't go back. I went through an intensive interview and background check and felt I was well prepared for the position. I started and by the end of the 2nd day, I left in tears knowing this job was NOT for me. It wasn't anything illegal or anything like what you described with your job, but just something I wasn't prepared for. It almost seemed as if they didn't explain my position to me fully and kinda snuck the negative parts in when I started. I called them the next morning and told them I was not coming back. They asked if I would come in the following day and talk with them. I really didn't want to (I just wanted it all to end and just forget about it), but I felt I owed it to them to at least go talk to the head supervisor. I know they were dissappointed because of all the time/effort involved in my interview and background check, but I had to do what I thought was right.

I've never used them as a reference and it hasn't had any negative effects on me.

I didn't have a need for COBRA, so sorry I can't help with that.

I also left a job after 3 days. I also went through several interviews, background check, etc. During the interview I was told the job was Monday through Friday with flexible hours. On my third day of orientation, I was told the job actually required 7 days a week coverage on a split shift! I called the next day and informed my supervisor I wouldn't be working there & why.

I had been offered another position in another facility that I had turned down because I'd already accepted the original job. I called back to the manager of the other position, explained that I didn't accept the original job after all & why, and called all my references to explain the same thing. I was able to start my new job within a couple of weeks. Everybody I explained my decision to thought my explanation was very reasonable.

While it is important to avoid negativity in a job interview, I do think the OP can easily explain her decision to leave her current position (if the question comes up in an interview) by saying that the job wasn't a good fit and that the company had churned through 6 staffers in 16 months in that one position. "Nuff said.