Please calm my anger

[Jennasmomma]

Grrrr! I so hate my dd's now ex girl scout leader. DD is 10 and wants to quit. She says she's bored. DD told the leader today (who is also her bus monitor) that she is quitting because she is bored. Fine she can feel what she wants (my dd).

The group has a yahoo group. Instead of emailing me privately about this...she posted to the main group about dd leaving. She said she told dd today she doesnt know why she thinks its boring. Leader then pointed out 3 "events" dd didnt go to. 1 of them she changed the date. 1 dd was sick. And the last one..she had a cookie booth at a store in the shopping mall where a guy shot a cop point plank...and is uncaught!!!!!!!!!!!

I simply replied back with "She missed things for reasons. If you have a question as to why she's leaving the troop I think it would be better handled in private and not on the main group with everyone else.

Long story short, she's bored with it, over worked with school/flute. I will be emailing you privately to arrange a time to drop off her cookie money."

THEN the next email in my inbox was the Leader saying when the last Junior meeting will be in April because...The girls are ...BORED...!!! She also said there is not going to be a Junior troup next year because of the boredom of the girls.

So....Im asking you...am I justified in being really pissed or is it just my PMS? hahah

 

[EthansMom]

Don't even get me started about bad troop leaders in GS. I didn't make it past one year of Brownies due to issues with bad leadership.

I'm kinda hoping DD2 doesn't feel the need to do the who GS thing.

 

[DisneyDotty]

Yikes! Bad form for leader to publicize your dd's private issues! I'd be cranky if I were you, too.
I'm wrestling with a Scout issue, too. (Boy Scout--my dd's Girl Scout leader is FANTASTIC! Doesn't the leader totally make or break the group? That's a lot of responsibility--too much for me! But I digress...)

 

[paigevz]

Yep. My son lasted one whole meeting in Boy Scouts. AND........they never sent him the Boy's Life magazine I paid a subscription for!

(I don't quite understand the shooting bit? Your daughter was selling girl scout cookies I assume, and then someone shot someone while she was there?...........only it's difficult to understand what you mean there.........is it just an aside, or is it a place her leader sent her to adn you thought it unsafe?)

 

[daisyduck123]

We've had a problem with "not so good" leaders around here too.

When DD11 was in scouts (she was in for about 4 years) my girlfriends & I learned that rather than complain about it....."if you wan't it done right...do it yourself".

We started our own troop...my 2 friends were the co-leaders, another friend & I became the "camp moms".

Our troop was great while it lasted...we disbanded when the girls started middle school a year & a half ago.

 

[EthansMom]

(I don't quite understand the shooting bit? Your daughter was selling girl scout cookies I assume, and then someone shot someone while she was there?...........only it's difficult to understand what you mean there.........is it just an aside, or is it a place her leader sent her to adn you thought it unsafe?)

I think the OP was saying that one of the "events" her DD had "missed" was a cookie sell at an unsafe location.

 

[Jennasmomma]

Yep. My son lasted one whole meeting in Boy Scouts. AND........they never sent him the Boy's Life magazine I paid a subscription for!

(I don't quite understand the shooting bit? Your daughter was selling girl scout cookies I assume, and then someone shot someone while she was there?...........only it's difficult to understand what you mean there.........is it just an aside, or is it a place her leader sent her to adn you thought it unsafe?)

Sorry for the confusion. I posted this in the heat of the moment. The cookie booth was at a grocery store in a shopping center. Months ago there was a shooting of a police officer in the same shopping center. The guy was never caught. This is a bad area of town on any given day, let alone that particular shopping center.

 

[hentob]

Hmmm..This is a tough one. First off, I would say the Girl Scout leader should have never, ever posted anything concerning your daughter on a public board. I am sure she was embarrassed by your daughter's comment and wanted to "save face" by telling HER side via the internet. Very, very immature.

But, although you believe your daughter "can feel what she wants", I would teach her that it is rude and disrespectful to walk up to an adult (in a public place) and tell her that she is bored by the activities said adult has planned.

The adult was wrong b/c she _is_ the adult and should have used better judgment, but your daughter needs to be taught that telling an adult they are quitting b/c they are "bored" is a bit disrespectful.

This, of course, is just my opinion

 

[Jennasmomma]

I would agree but dd said she was bored after the leader asked why she was quitting. So dd told her hahaha

 

[luv2nascar]

yikes that is scary

 

[MouseWorshipin]

When I was a Girl Scout, we had a "campout" in our leader's backyard. She assigned everyone some kind of food to bring. But as the moms compared items...everyone was assigned meat. Chicken, ribs, you name it.

Then she stuck it all in her freezer and served us Spaghetti-Os. The moms got her fired.

Girl Scouts should be fun! Get a better leader if the kids are bored.

 

[Kirby]

I too think that the leader was wrong in publicly airing why your daughter was quitting. She should have asked what kind of activities your daughter was interested in. My daughter's troop is down to five members, they are freshmen in high school. Their leader is very open to listening to the girls. Your daughter's leader was wrong to cancel meetings until April. The girls should be meeting together to see what can be done and discussing what everyone would like to do.

On the flip side, if your daughter is "bored" with what the troop is doing, maybe she could look into other activities that they could do that she is interested in.

 

[clh2]

My comments, for what they are worth...are from the eyes of a real live Junior GS Leader.

In our council, the location of the store cookie sales is determined by "luck of the draw" so, most likely, the troop leader didn't pick an unsafe location as the first choice. Furthermore, in our council, there are only specific stores that the council arranges for the store sales.

I am only a GS leader because NO ONE ELSE WOULD DO IT! Yes, I would rather be home cleaning my house on a Saturday, or going Christmas shopping near the holidays or whatever.

As far as activities go, I would be grateful if anyone (girl or mom/dad) would come up with any ideas and help out. In 3 years of being the leader, this has only happened 1 time. I of course jumped on the idea (one mom worked with a nutritionist, and we did the whole Food Power Badge.) I loved being on the fringes of that meeting.

Now that I am in my 3rd year, I am truly just out of ideas.

So - if your DD is bored, maybe you could not only suggest some ideas for something fun to do, maybe you could help out at the meeting, too!

Now, our troop is relatively small (only 4 girls) and we don't have many meetings. I am just too tired at the end of the day to make the phone calls, and do the planning, trying to figure out where to have a meeting, and to get the additional adult to help chaperone. So, we only have meetings pretty much when I feel like it, only when my DD is available, and only if 3 or 4 girls are available. Next week - we are going to start working on the Yarn and Fabrics Arts badge - tie-dying pillowcases.

Ok - so if you are still with me, it is not the leader's decision to not have a troop next year. That will only happen if someone doesn't step up to the plate to take it over. If no one takes it over...the decision is made by the non-responsive parents.

I do not agree with the leader not sending the message to the entire group though. That was inappropriate.

 

[hentob]

So - if your DD is bored, maybe you could not only suggest some ideas for something fun to do, maybe you could help out at the meeting, too!

I agree with this, but in defense of the OP, I believe she has stated in past posts that she is on SSI. Maybe she is homebound and wouldn't be able to do this. I don't know?

OP? You out there? Would you ever consider starting your own troop if it is possible?

I truly loved Brownies and Girl Scouts It was so much fun!!

 

[hentob]

I do not agree with the leader not sending the message to the entire group though. That was inappropriate.

VERY

 

[Jennasmomma]

If I was able to...I totally would help out or have my own troop. But like hentob said, Im on SSI and "disabled". On occasion, I have offered to help out with things. You know the preplanning getting things together at home.

However this leader doesnt want that. She wants to do it all herself then whine and complain because the girls are bored. My dd is not the only one bored. The girls are all bored (Juniors and brownies meet at the same time 2 different leaders). They are starting to fight, throw things at each other etc.

I looked at past emails and found that yes a council person did tell the troop where to go for the cookies sales. As a parent, I do have the right to say no because I fear for her safety.

 

[m&m's mom]

I will say it is very hard to be a leader and especially if she did not get a lot of help from the parents.
Definitely handled it wrong though.
BTW, I would have hoped my DD would have spared the leaders feelings and not been so blunt. Honestly can only be helpful when it will not hurt someone for no reason.

 

[Jennasmomma]

How should she of handled it at age 10 when the leader asked her why she wanted to quit? She answered honestly, Im bored. Honestly, the leader should of said to my dd that where they were was not the place to discuss it. They were on the school bus. The leader is her bus monitor.

At the same time, the leader has said the same thing MANY times. The girls are bored. My dd heard it come from the leader many times.

Wanted to add....I have offered to help out when Im feeling up to it. She doesnt want help. She wants to do it herself then whine and complain that no one helps her.